Being a part of the family, just like being a true friend, revolves around kindness and mutual respect. There needs to be a give-and-take dynamic. It’s a red flag if the relationship is always one-sided. For example, when someone only ever turns to you when they need financial help.
One anonymous Reddit user asked the AITA online community for advice after sharing how she and her estranged sister got into a massive argument. The OP’s sister had demanded that she use her inheritance to fund her lavish wedding. Scroll down for the story in full. Bored Panda has reached out to the author via Reddit, and we’ll update the article once we hear back from her.
It hurts to realize that someone only wants to reconnect with you because they want your money
Image credits: Prostock-studio / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
A woman revealed how her estranged sister tried to pressure her into funding her lavish wedding
Image credits: stockasso / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: StudioPeace / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: thislovelylove
Healthy relationships are rooted in reciprocity, not selfishness
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
The reality is that if you want genuine relationships and to (re)connect with others, you have to build up trust over time. You cannot expect to become best friends overnight with someone whom you haven’t had contact with for years and years after falling out.
Moving on from the past is definitely possible. At the same time, you have to have realistic expectations. It takes two people to reconnect. The other person might still hold a grudge against you. Or they might see no reason to rekindle their old relationship after so much emotional turmoil in the past.
Even though it’s difficult, you have to respect the other person’s wishes. They might no longer want you back in their life. Trying to convince them otherwise won’t get you far.
Naturally, there shouldn’t be any hidden agendas behind your attempts to restore the relationship. It’s not a good look if you only see other people as instruments for your own goals. If you only pretend to be someone’s friend to try to get your hands on their inheritance, you need to take a step back and seriously reevaluate your values and priorities in life.
Of course, none of us can ignore the fact that people get a lot of use out of friendships and various relationships. They get emotional support, spot-on advice, physical help, the pleasure of good company, good vibes, etc. However, when it comes to real friendship, there’s an element of reciprocity at work. Both people get something nice out of their relationship. More than one person benefits.
On the other hand, false friends tend to show up only when they need something from you, but they always find excuses not to help you out when you need a favor. They also tend to ignore you when you’re going through a tougher period. But once things are right as rain again, they’re glad to pop back into your life.
True friends also do not pressure you to do things that are clearly against your best interests. Don’t get us wrong, friendship means that you sometimes have to tell your pals some hard truths, instead of dodging the issue. However, the advice has to be genuine. Nobody should be pushing their buddies to do something that’s going to wreck their health, relationships, or finances.
You can still have a wonderful wedding without relying on others for money. However, that takes financial discipline
Image credits: Deesha Chandra / pexels (not the actual photo)
In the meantime, if your financial burdens are getting too much, there are other ways to tackle the core issue without pressuring your estranged relatives for their part of their inheritance.
To put it simply, the foundation of having enough money revolves around two main approaches: spending less money and earning more cash.
So, if you’re saving up for a grand wedding that you want to rival the ones you see on the silver screen, your best approach is to take on more work while cutting back on unnecessary expenses.
You could, for instance, get a second (part-time) job to help you save more money quicker. Or you could ask to work more hours at your regular day job.
Alternatively, if you’ve been doing well at the office, you could always talk to your boss about a well-deserved raise! Failing that, you may want to consider applying for a higher-paying role, either at your current company or elsewhere.
In terms of savings, you have to sit down and analyze your entire budget in detail. Look at all the things that you could realistically cut back on without having to sacrifice your entire quality of life.
For example, you might have a bunch of subscriptions that you’re not currently using. Or you might be spending slightly too much on dining out vs. eating in. Even something as simple as cutting down on the amount of snacks you buy each week (we know—unthinkable!) can net you a hefty sum in savings for your wedding budget in a year’s time.
Then there are the possible cuts you can make to the wedding itself. Unless you’re lucky enough to have someone else funding your Big Day, you will have to make some sacrifices.
The reality is that you’ll have to make at least some tradeoffs. Inviting more guests vs. having more decorations. Hiring the band you absolutely love for your first dance vs. having a massive ice sculpture. Offering your guests lots of delish food vs. splurging more on drinks, etc.
You have to figure out what you cannot do without and embrace that everything else may not be perfect. But at the end of the day, what’s most important is that you’re marrying your soulmate, surrounded by the people you care about the most in the world. Right?
The author later divulged a few more details about her family
Many people thought that the author’s sister had no right to ask for her money
