Wearing her elegant wedding gown and holding a bouquet of blooms, Claire Bullimore looks the epitome of a glowing bride.
But her marriage has not taken place and a date for her big day to marry is yet to be set. Behind her beaming smile there is a deeply poignant reason for the pre-wedding photoshoot.
Claire, 38, says: “When my boyfriend Ioannis was talking about getting married, I got upset because I couldn’t imagine my wedding without my mum there.
“Mum has an incurable liver, spine, lung and brain tumours and is being cared for in a hospice. Ioannis and I don’t have enough money to get married yet. So he came up with the idea of having professional pictures taken before the wedding to make sure mum is included.
“Within ten days friends, family and neighbours all rallied together to help make our photoshoot happen happen. And Mum was so happy.”
Claire, from Norbury in London, has always been close to her mum Eileen, 72, and their bond strengthened when both received devastating health news.
In 2008, when Claire was diagnosed with a brain tumour, Eileen and her dad Patrick immediately flew home from a holiday in Australia to be by her side. They arrived minutes before she underwent surgery to remove a 10cm tumour.
“After the shock of the diagnosis, all I wanted was mum,” says Claire. “I had 24 hours before surgery and the flight from Australia took 22 hours. I was due to be taken into theatre at 8am but doctors held on as they knew Mum was on her way. She arrived at 8am so we had a couple of minutes to say a quick hello. Then we said a sad goodbye because no one knew if I’d make it.”
After the ten-hour operation, Eileen barely left Claire’s side.
“Mum was my rock,” says Claire. “She’s always been strong and adventurous, doing everything from sky diving to being a pillion queen during her and dad’s many motorbike adventures.
“But because I lost my speech and mobility I pretty much reverted to being a needy child. Mum didn’t just look after all my health needs by helping me eat, dress and get to bed, she picked up my spirits when I was going through a hard time. She was always there.”
Claire received intensive therapy to regain her speech, mobility and memory. Seizures and side effects from strong medication ruled out rebuilding her career as a PA within the oil and gas industry and she medically retired.
She threw herself into researching brain tumours and supporting other people facing complex recoveries and set up her own website Aunty M Brain Tumours.
Claire says: “I went for an interview as a voluntary radio host at Croydon Radio and, because my speech and memory can fail at any time, Mum came with me.
“When the interviewers asked what plans I had for the show, I went completely blank. I looked across at Mum and said, ‘It’s a mother and daughter show to support people with brain injuries’.
“Mum hadn’t known a thing about it until that moment. But on the spot she said, ‘Yeah, OK!’. And for the next four and a half years, together we interviewed brain tumour experts, charities and patients on the radio.”
In a cruel twist of fate, retired charity public relations executive Eileen was then diagnosed with lung, liver spine and brain cancer. Claire’s knowledge was a blessing and a curse when it came to hearing the news from doctors last August.
“It happened really fast and we’re all still coming to terms with it. Mum’s cancer is advanced and spread rapidly. Because I’d done so much research on brain tumours after my own, I knew how it would end.
“But I’ve vowed not to let myself get really down. I’m holding on. Because weeping and sitting around feeling awful is such a waste of time when Mum’s here and we can spend very precious time together.”
Claire has been comforted by Gatwick airport services worker Ioannis, who she met on a dating website just before lockdown in March 2020. They talked for hours on daily video calls but restrictions prevented their first meeting, in a park, until three months later. Ioannis is also devoted to caring for Eileen.
The happy couple discussed marrying next year when his family, who are based in Mauritius, can attend. But Ioannis sensed Claire’s sadness.
She says: “Ioannis is terrible at keeping secrets but let slip that he hopes to propose with a ring on my birthday on March 27. But I was getting really tearful at the thought of my mum not being with me when I get married. Two weeks ago he said, ‘I’ve been thinking - we can’t have a full marriage until next year but let’s do the photos with your mum while she’s with us’.
“I thought it was such a lovely idea, and more importantly so did Mum. For the last few weeks she’s been cared for at St Christopher’s Hospice in Sydenham. Talking about the photos really picked her up, especially when staff said mum could come home for them.”
Claire asked if any friends had a wedding dress she could borrow before Ioannis treated her to a new gown from online retailer Asos. A neighbour found photographer, Amanda Purchase, who donated he services for free. And on Sunday February 13, a family friend arrived to do Claire and Eileen’s hair and make up to to ensure both looked and felt special for their pre-wedding photos.
Plans to stage the pictures under a flower arch in the garden were scuppered by wet weather, so Claire and her family pushed the furniture in their front room aside and posed indoors for their special pictures.
Claire says: “I felt overwhelmed at how much so many people pulled together to create such an unforgettable experience.
“Our make up artist Hayley Evans also works as a scientist at the Royal Marsden Hospital, which has been treating Mum. She did a wonderful job making Mum look great and fluffed up her hair, which is thinned from chemo. Mum wore a dress she last wore 40 years ago and loved that she could fit into it.
“My aunt Liz bought my fake Hydrangea flowers for £7 on eBay and made my dog Noodles her own wedding outfit. Whenever emotion started building up, Noodles did something to make us all laugh. She was a complete scene stealer.
“Ioannis was delighted his idea worked and his family and mine are really proud of him.
“Best of all, mum was so excited. It was a day we’ll never forget. We created photographs, and memories, we’ll always treasure.”
