A bride-to-be stirred up quite the debate online with an unconventional approach to her wedding day.
Most people see their wedding day as a monumental occasion, often remembered as one of life’s happiest moments. However, this bride revealed that she planned to head straight back to work right after legally accepting her partner as her spouse.
Sharing her story on Mumsnet, the woman named Aashni asked for opinions on her decision not to take leave for her official wedding.
“DP (Darling Partner) and I get married next month. It’s a large event with many guests, but the religious ceremony isn’t legally binding,” she said in the post uploaded on Monday, July 8.
“Because of this, DP and I are heading to our local registry office next week to do the legal part of the marriage,” she added. “We don’t want this formality to overshadow our wedding next month, which we consider the actual day we marry.”
A bride-to-be shared her unconventional plans of choosing to work on her wedding day
The soon-to-be wife noted that she was not planning on entertaining any guests during their time at the local registry office. They also planned to finish off the entire process over a lunch break, she noted.
“So, for the registry wedding, we aren’t having guests (just two acquaintances as witnesses), no vows or ring exchange, and we’d planned to work that day as usual (it’s over lunchtime),” she continued.
While the engaged couple was fine with the idea of going back to work, the bride revealed that her friends and family said it was “crazy” that they weren’t going to bask in post-wedding bliss.
“When sharing our plans with friends and family, we’re told we’re crazy for not taking the day off to celebrate together,” the woman wrote. “But to me, this day is merely a legal formality.”
She noted that her mother “insists it will be a special and emotional day regardless, and that it would be silly not to acknowledge it as we’ll never get that day back. WWYD?”
“To me, this day is merely a legal formality,” she wrote in a recent Mumsnet post asking netizens for their opinion on the matter
Her post quickly garnered a flood of responses, with opinions divided.
One commenter urged, “Take the day off.”
“To me the legal formality is the wedding. That’s the date on your marriage certificate, the one you count anniversaries from etc. I’d say it’s more important than the blessing and the party,” another said. “Each to their own and you can celebrate however you like.”
Another suggested a compromise: “Even if you just go for some lunch and spend the afternoon together, it’s still a special day.”
“If you can’t take a day of leave to celebrate the day you get married, what do you use it for? Even if you just consider it a formality, what if there’s a delay? You don’t want to be rushing back to work,” said another.
The soon-to-be wife eventually said she decided to take the day off after all and spend it with her partner
Others said it is completely up to the couple to decide what they would like to do and that they can go back to work if that is what they prefer.
“We got married on my partner’s lunch break with a couple of colleagues for witnesses – no regrets!” one said. “The emotional bit for us was the ceremony with our friends and family which was a few weeks later.”
“Sounds reasonable to me. If that bit is essentially just signing paperwork and not a celebration then why try to make it one? You have a big ceremony with everything else to look forward to,” another wrote. “Although if you both have leave to spare then I’d be tempted to take a half day to go for a pub lunch after just as a nice opportunity.”
Following the discussion, Aashni revealed that she had a change of heart and decided to take the day off to spend it with her partner.
“Thank you everyone, this has been really helpful,” she said in an update. “On reflection, DP and I are going to book the day off after all and have a nice lunch just the two of us!”
For many couples, time off from work is essential to manage the stress and excitement that comes with planning a wedding
Taking leave for weddings is often seen as a vital part of the wedding celebration, allowing couples to fully immerse themselves in the joy and significance of their union without the distractions of work.
Leave is necessary not just for the actual wedding and the honeymoon but also for all the preparations that come with these events. For couples who opt to do their own decor, food, and flowers, a few days off of work would be required to seamlessly complete all the wedding projects in time.
Experts say that the “wedding leave” trend has taken over several companies, with employers willing to give their workers enough time off to enjoy the celebration to the fullest.
Some employers are understanding and willing to offer wedding leave to their staff so that they can enjoy their special day without the stress of work
“The rise of the ‘wedding leave’ trend comes as no surprise as we see modern couples struggling with the ever increasing pressures of having a ‘wow-factor’ wedding,” Hamish Shephard, founder of wedding planning app Bridebook.co.uk, told Cosmopolitan. “The combination of these pressures and the fact that modern couples are getting married later means that couples can reap the time-saving and stress-reducing benefits from taking ‘wedding leave.'”
The concept of “wedding leave” is also a good way to retain employees and ensure they are happy.
“Offering marriage leave is a sign that a company is willing to take a more holistic approach to employee welfare which extends beyond the bare minimum we so often see,” Mark Di-Toro, careers expert at Glassdoor told the outlet.
“If you’re planning on asking for wedding leave, be sure to clearly explain to your boss why you think it’s necessary,” suggested Hamish Shephard, founder of wedding planning app Bridebook.co.uk
In case a company does not offer the option of “wedding leave,” Hamish explained that one can still have a conversation with their boss about taking time off for their special day.
“Ultimately, it’s up to the boss’s discretion,” the app founder said. “If you’re planning on asking for wedding leave, be sure to clearly explain to your boss why you think it’s necessary and the negative impacts not having this time off could have on your work.”
Every individual would have their own unique needs and preferences when it comes to celebrating their own wedding. Hence, different people would want varying durations of time off from work.
Some netizens discussed the amount of leave they think is appropriate on a Reddit thread.
“I’m taking two weeks before and two weeks after, but my job doesn’t know that yet. I’m a divorce attorney, so I want a solid break from thinking about divorce for the month around my wedding, and I think that’s fair!” one Reddit user said.
An individual, who said they work in tech, revealed that they are encouraged to take four weeks off a year. Hence, they would reserve those four weeks for their wedding.
Meanwhile, a teacher’s remarks on the Reddit thread said, “I think one or 2 days before, and one after (wedding was on a Saturday). There wasn’t much to do, and we took our honeymoon later.”
Aashni’s post sparked a discussion online about her initial decision to get officially married during her work lunch break
