As the song goes, “It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to.” And if it’s your wedding day, you reserve the right to cry, have an extra slice of cake or uninvite your grandmother from the whole event.
One bride recently reached out to Reddit for advice after her fears about her grandma wearing white to her wedding seemed like they might actually come true. Below, you’ll find the full story of how Grandma nearly managed to get herself taken off the guest list, as well as a conversation with wedding expert and Editor at Bespoke Bride, Jhona Yellin.
Most couples want their closest relatives present at their wedding
Image credits: ckstockphoto / Envato (not the actual photo)
But when this bride realized her grandmother might be planning on wearing white, she decided that it’s not necessary for her to attend
Image credits: jm_video / Envato (not the actual photo)
Later, the bride clarified some details about her situation and provided a brief update
Image credits: Pressmaster / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Puzzled_Dress9590
“When someone else shows up in white, it’s like an uninvited extra trying to steal the spotlight”
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
In the West, it’s the norm for brides to wear white dresses on their wedding day. This isn’t a requirement by any means, and plenty of women have subverted the norm by wearing stunning dresses in every color of the rainbow. But the majority, about 83% of brides, still go for a classic white gown.
Brittanica notes that the white dress craze was largely inspired by Queen Victoria’s wedding dress in 1840. And by the time this trend trickled down to regular folks, it cemented its way into the wedding world.
Today, some brides also choose to wear white because they associate it with purity and virtue. But Jhona Yellin, wedding expert and Editor at Bespoke Bride, says wearing white as a bride is about more than just honoring tradition.
“It’s about feeling like the main character in a movie where you spent months (or years) planning the perfect scene,” she told Bored Panda. “When someone else shows up in white, it’s like an uninvited extra trying to steal the spotlight.”
“Historically, white symbolizes purity and new beginnings, but let’s be real: today, it’s more about exclusivity. It’s the bride’s day, and if Grandma rolls up in an ivory gown, it can feel like a challenge rather than a coincidence,” Jhona explained. “Some might call it outdated, but the sentiment remains strong—if you wouldn’t show up to the Oscars in the same dress as the nominee, why do it at a wedding?”
While it might not seem fair to uninvite a guest over wearing white, Jhona says this decision is understandable. “Weddings are emotional powder kegs wrapped in lace and fondant, and something as small as a rogue white dress can light the fuse,” the expert shared.
“A dress code is your first line of defense”
Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“That said, kicking someone out for their outfit can create a scene far worse than the crime itself. A firm but friendly chat beforehand—’Hey, I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t wear white’—can go a long way,” she continued. “But if the guest insists, the real question is: is this a hill worth dying on?”
“If it’s an ex who’s showing up in a bridal gown as a power move, then sure, show them the door. But if it’s your sweet but clueless Nana, maybe let it slide,” Jhona noted. “After all, the photos will still tell the story—the bride, beaming front and center, while the rogue guest gets the side-eye of the century. And if you’re wondering just how much control you can (and should) have over what guests wear, here’s a helpful take on why it’s perfectly okay to set some boundaries.”
To prevent drama like this, Jhona says that creating a dress code can be the bride and groom’s first line of defense. “A well-placed ‘No white, ivory, or cream—unless you’re the one saying ‘I do’!’ on the invite keeps things crystal clear,” she shared. “Plus, dress codes can be a great way to set the mood for your wedding—whether it’s black-tie glam or garden-chic. If you need inspiration, check out our 7 Creative Wedding Dress Codes That Are in Fashion Today.”
However, Jhona warns that some guests may take dress codes as personal attacks. “We all have that one aunt who hates being told what to do,” she noted. “The trick is in the wording: make it sound like a fun guideline rather than a military order. And if you’re worried about your mom or grandma feeling left out, why not gently steer them toward something elegant that doesn’t upstage the bride? Here’s a guide to chic mother-of-the-bride outfits that might just do the trick.”
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this bride made the right choice by putting her foot down? Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing wedding outfit drama right here.
The bride also responded to a few readers and provided more background information
Many readers agreed that the bride had every right to put her foot down
However, some thought she was blowing things out of proportion
