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Louise Thomas
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An engaged couple sparked mixed reactions after the bride asked her retired mother to pay for her wedding, despite the groom being financially stable.
In a post shared to the Wedding Shaming forum on Reddit, a family member of the bride’s mother – a retired art teacher struggling to make ends meet – explained that the bride was expecting her mother to pay for her wedding. However, the Reddit user claimed that there was something off about the couple.
“Their relationship is a bit unconventional since they have an age-gap of over 20 years, and the groom has grown children from a previous marriage who are closer in age to the bride than she is to him,” the family member wrote.
The bride, who’s in her 40s, and the groom, who’s in his 60s, are both financially well off – each making over $200,000 a year. The Reddit user noted that with their combined income of around half a million a year, they have the means to pay for their wedding. However, they are still “allowing” the bride’s financially struggling mother to pay for the festivities, except the rehearsal dinner that was ultimately canceled.
The Reddit user explained how the bride’s mother lives on a fixed income, and often finds herself stressed about her financial situation. Although they noted that she seems happy to pay for her daughter’s wedding, they found it odd that a successful, middle-aged couple wouldn’t pay for their wedding.
“They are always stressed and complaining about money,” the family member wrote about the engaged couple. “They also asked the bride’s mother to help them buy a new home, which she obviously cannot afford to do.”
Although the three seemed fine with the financial arrangement, the rest of the bride’s family was concerned. The Reddit user claimed that the bride and groom were profiting off someone financially struggling, when they could easily pay for their own expenses themselves.
“I am honestly shocked that the groom isn’t just offering to foot most of the bill, since he’s had a 40-year long career and makes a ton of money. The bride also makes great money too, so I don’t see why she can’t afford at least part of it,” they wrote. “I wish them both happiness, but I can’t help but feel like this isn’t right, especially for the much older and wealthier groom.”
In the comment section, many people wrote that the bride’s mother needed to set boundaries with her daughter and future son-in-law.
“No offense, but the mother of the bride needs to grow a spine and refuse,” one wrote.
“If you are getting married at 40 and 60, you pay for your own wedding,” another added.
Others noted that it was heinous for the groom and bride to be taking advantage of the bride’s mother.
“Both him and the bride suck,” someone else commented. “He’s in his 60s and there is a 20-year age gap, that means she’s in her 40s. She’s an adult and has been for 20 years. If she’s going along with this she’s just as responsible.”
“The poor mother of the bride!” another wrote. “Truly, shame on the bride and groom for even letting someone on a fixed income in retirement pay for their hoopla nonsense, whether she offered or not. They’re grown adults with paying jobs. They can pay for their own crap.”
