Every bride has expressed some fear that her wedding will be upstaged in some way.
In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” forum, one bride revealed that she uninvited her sister - who is in a wheelchair - from her wedding over fears that she will “take up all of the spotlight”. The woman explained that her sister Anna was diagnosed with cancer when she was 15 years old and beat it. “Ever since, she has been having growths and anytime one appears we are worried about the cancer coming back,” the post read.
The bride wrote that her sister tends to pick poor times to announce when she needs to go to the doctor again. “At the beginning I thought it was just bad timing, but it has happened so many times when I hit a milestone,” she wrote on Reddit. “My graduations, my birthdays, my engagement party. Anytime she makes an announcement she needs to go back to the hospital my whole family with flock to her [sic].”
When the bride decided to have a dinner party to announce her wedding date to her relatives, her sister told her mother that same day that she had to go back to the hospital. “Soon everyone forgot about the reason for the dinner party and it was quiet. My aunt even stepped in to do a prayer for Anna. Another event was taken over. I went low contact with her after that,” the bride wrote.
Despite the incident, her sister was still invited to the wedding. The bride later learned that Anna will be in and out of a wheelchair, which she’ll take to the ceremony, but the rest of their family had not been informed about the situation. “I told both of them they need to inform them. They told me they don’t want to worry them and won’t do that. I had enough and told them you need to tell before my wedding. Again, no. I then informed them Anna is not invited,” the post continued.
The bride concluded her post by mentioning that she and her sister argued about the wedding, but she wasn’t sure if revoking her invitation was the best idea.
AITA for not wanting my sister at my wedding since she is in a wheelchair and will take up all of the spotlight
byu/Agitated-Ad-2603 inAmItheAsshole
Since sharing her post last week, more than 1,000 people have agreed in the comments section that the sisters should address their issues further. “You need to sit down with your parents privately and in person if possible. Explain calmly that you love your sister but that she has been using her health situation to hijack every event in your life. Give the examples you gave us and every single example you can recall,” one comment began.
“Explain that you have asked her to inform everyone of her wheelchair use and she refused. You asked her not to make this one day about her, and she is signalling that she will not honour your request. After trying to come to a compromise, you and your fiancé(e) have decided that if she cannot stop herself from springing this and continuing to demand everyone’s attention at an inappropriate time (YOUR wedding), that it is best she does not attend. It has been 11 years. Her situation is sad, but it’s obvious that she’s leveraged it and continues to manipulate everyone.”
Another commenter agreed, writing: “You’re NTA [not the a**hole] but I seriously hope you get all the attention you deserve on your special day because you never had that on your achievements and special days just because Anna steals the spotlight. You don’t have to talk to your parents if you don’t want to just because you know what they’re like but the option is still there.”
“If she already knows she is sick, why not just tell people? Instead she waits until someone else has an event, then she announces it. How often do her events end with an announcement?” a third commenter wrote in defense of the bride.
