There is an old Gang Show ditty, titled ‘Friends’ and written, judging from its contents, at a simpler time, that rattles through an assortment of quaint luxuries one can supposedly do without.
Several feel questionable this week (umbrellas and winter overcoats are both out) but strangely there is no mention of £100million centre-forwards.
Brentford, though, continue to make the case convincingly, Ivan Toney, valued at that nine-figure sum in one report this week, still a couple of months away from his return but the Bees, in his absence, having matched their best Premier League start ahead of Saturday's visit of West Ham.
True, the sample size is hardly gargantuan, but tallies of 12, 13 and now 13 points again from their first 10 games of the past three top-flight seasons speak to the consistency Thomas Frank’s side have found since their promotion in 2021, a level so far maintained despite being shorn of their best player.
Only a couple of weeks ago you worried for Brentford, at least about as much as it is possible to worry for any team in a division that also includes Burnley, Luton and Sheffield United. The international break arrived on the back of five League games without a win, including the miserable home defeat by Everton.
Since then, though, Frank’s side have turned a corner, back-to-back victories over Burnley and Chelsea inspired largely by the brilliance of Bryan Mbeumo, this week rewarded with a nomination for the Premier League’s player of the month award.
No individual was more explicitly asked to elevate his contribution to fill the Toney void, the 24-year-old having excelled as foil to Brentford’s talisman but now to be relied upon as spearhead himself. That Mbeumo’s run of four games without a goal or assist from mid-September coincided with the Bees picking up only a single point emphasised the scale of the brief.
"Brentford have turned a corner, inspired by the brilliance of Bryan Mbeumo"
Goals and assists against Burnley and Chelsea have taken the Cameroonian’s tally in the former category to six in 10 League matches, already just three shy of last season, when he featured in all 38 games. That rate is probably unsustainable, but it is worth noting that the apprentice is currently on pace to surpass master Toney’s 20-goal haul from last term.
It is not only Toney whom Brentford have found a way to manage without, outstanding left-back Rico Henry the headline among what has at times been a long list of absentees, but it is visiting manager David Moyes who heads to the Gtech Community Stadium on Saturday with fresh gaps to plug.
The Scot will be relieved that his problems are temporary, but the yellow card suspensions that rule both Lucas Paqueta and Edson Alvarez out of this east vs west London derby are awkward nonetheless.
Paqueta is the most creative player in a team that in recent games has lacked incision and having at last found a potent combination in the midweek Carabao Cup win over Arsenal, Moyes must tinker again.
Alvarez, meanwhile, has no like-for-like deputy. The Mexican has so far made a decent fist of replacing Declan Rice in tandem with James Ward-Prowse, that pair effectively tasked with doing the job between them.
Numerically, though, Moyes’s squad remains short in centre-midfield after Flynn Downes and Manuel Lanzini were also allowed to leave and it seems likely that Tomas Soucek will have to be returned to a deeper role to compensate.
A back-three could make up for Alvarez’s lost security, though that alternative is complicated by concerns over Kurt Zouma after his captain missed the Arsenal game with a knee problem and is uncertain to play on Saturday.
