A mum unwittingly infected with HIV has opened up about the stigma of living with the condition.
For mental health nurse Emma McAnally, the prejudice was so severe she contemplated suicide.
But now she wants to share her story so other women with the same diagnosis feel less alone.
Emma, 33, who takes a daily pill to stay alive, says: “Thirty years ago, HIV was seen as a death sentence but now you can live a long and healthy life.
“The biggest thing is getting over the stigma.
“This can happen to anyone. I never thought it would be me but I am determined not to let it define me.”
About six years ago, Emma had recurrent flu-like symptoms and an STI and was feeling under the weather. She went to a sexual health clinic and tested positive. She learned that around 80% of people with HIV suffer from a flu-like illness two to six weeks after being infected.
She says: “The penny dropped and then the blood tests confirmed it. I was in shock and disbelief. I had been led to believe this illness didn’t affect my demographic.”
Around a third of people living with HIV in Britain are women. Women are more likely to be diagnosed later then gay men, due to reluctance to get tested, which means poorer outcomes long term.
The infection rate in those accessing care is roughly the same for heterosexual sex as gay sex, according to sexual health charity the Terrence Higgins Trust.
Three-quarters of those with HIV experience prejudice, says THT – and a third from family or friends.
Emma, who lives near Glasgow, says: “When I told some close friends and family about the diagnosis, the response was horrific.
“I couldn’t talk to anyone. I went into a dark place mentally.”
It was only when she later became pregnant with her son, knowing it was safe, that she felt more at ease.
She says: “I didn’t feel alone or ashamed any more. I had something worth living for.
“I’ve never felt as confident in my body and mind.”
Even then, she was told a water birth “wasn’t safe” and advised by a midwife not to breastfeed her son, even though it was fine.
She told current partner Paul her HIV status after two weeks. The pair are hoping for a baby. Neither her son, four, nor Paul, are HIV positive.
Emma said: “He took my hand and said it didn’t change anything.
“All that really matters to me is what I think of myself and how my family and close friends see me.”
The brave mum urged all women to test yearly for HIV.
She added: “Don’t be scared of what you might learn. There’s hope and you can live well with HIV.”
For help and support dealing with HIV visit the Terrence Higgins Trust at www.tht.org.uk
If you are struggling or you are worried about a loved one, you can call Samaritans free at any time, from any phone, on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org
