Many people have experienced firsthand that where there is money, there are problems—especially when a large amount befalls someone unexpectedly. That’s why some lottery winners find it difficult to handle their finances or why some people sacrifice their relationships over inheritances.
This redditor, too, encountered relationship problems over an inheritance. After she got the money, her boyfriend immediately started pushing his idea on how to spend it, while the OP had other plans for it. Not seeing eye to eye eventually became a relationship drama that ended in the woman wondering if she was overreacting.
Instead of buying happiness, money often brings trouble
Image credits: rawpixel.com (not the actual photo)
For this woman, an unexpected inheritance ended the relationship with her boyfriend
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: avelleo
Studies suggest that money is the greatest relationship challenge for roughly one-in-four couples
Money can be a cause of conflict even when there’s no inheritance or sudden wealth in the picture. It is especially likely when two people sharing certain financial burdens don’t see eye to eye. Unsurprisingly, it’s a common pain point for couples, which can have serious detrimental effects on the relationship.
According to Fidelity’s Investments Couples & Money Study from last year, almost one-in-four couples say that money is their greatest relationship challenge. Close to half of the study’s participants (45%) admit that they argue about money at least occasionally. And that’s where the ability to communicate openly, clearly, and without judgment comes into play.
For the well-being of the relationship, and the people involved, it’s important to have the money talk—ideally, on a regular basis; for instance, every month—despite how uncomfortable it might be. Talking about the right way for couples to talk about money in her TEDx Talk, the founder and CEO of financial planning and management firm Artisan Financial Strategies, Meredith Moore, noted that nowadays, money is still a taboo subject. However, open communication regarding the issue can alleviate the load of handling finances together. And, in some cases, even spare the relationship.
Clearly, it’s easier said than done, especially bearing in mind that even after having such a talk—or talks, for that matter—there might still be areas of disagreement. According to Fidelity’s study, some of the main areas where people don’t see eye to eye with their partner include how much savings is needed to reach retirement, how much risk they are willing to take on their investments, how much income their working partner makes, and what should be the family’s next big savings goal.
“Talking about money fosters knowledge and experience, which creates a happier relationship,” an expert says
The aforementioned study found that one-fourth of the participants admit they are often frustrated by their partner’s money habits, but they let it go for the sake of keeping the peace. According to Moore, some couples find it difficult to talk about money, because they don’t know how to do it correctly.
In her TEDx Talk, the expert suggested that there are five key things to consider when discussing finances with your partner: contribution, transparency, values, equality, and vision. She noted that these five things create better dialogues about money, and in her words, “talking about money fosters knowledge and experience, which creates a happier relationship, and ultimately leads to greater financial success for both partners.”
Unfortunately, in the OP’s case, talking about money didn’t lead to a happier relationship. The Redditor shared that what started as a calm conversation quickly turned into a shouting match. One of the main reasons for this was the different visions they had for how the OP’s inheritance money should be spent. Eventually, that led to the woman ending her relationship altogether, but that made her wonder if she was overreacting. Netizens in the comments assured her that she wasn’t.
Fellow netizens didn’t think the woman was overreacting; some even believed she dodged a bullet
