More and more couples nowadays choose not to have children. In fact, one survey shows that 47% of adults younger than 50 in the U.S. don’t plan to have kids. In many cases, couples make this decision together, both on the same page.
Yet, this couple wasn’t. After three years in a relationship, the boyfriend revealed to his girlfriend that he does, in fact, want children. As the woman had not changed her mind, she thought there’s nothing else to do but break up. She shared her story as an example that, contrary to what the boyfriend thought, women don’t always naturally want children.
Bored Panda got in touch with the author of this story, u/Sour_JollyRancher. She graciously agreed to have a short chat with us about how she feels now and what this whole experience taught her. Read our conversation below!
Couples break up for many reasons; for this couple, it was over the boyfriend changing his mind about wanting children
Image credits: Kampus Production / pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman shared her story of how he surprised her with this fact after three years together
Image credits: Alena Darmel / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Budgeron Bach / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Sour_JollyRancher
The author made up her mind about not having children when she was a teen and says this is a lifelong decision
u/Sour_JollyRancher’s post about her boyfriend went pretty viral on the r/TwoHotTakes subreddit. Just in five days, it garnered more than 8k upvotes and over 2.5k comments. But the author tells us she wasn’t looking for online fame or advice, she just needed to vent.
“I already made up my mind [about] the relationship ending. There was nothing that I came here for to gain perspective on and maybe change my mind or my decision. I don’t want kids so I’m not getting with somebody who wants or has kids. Point blank,” she explains simply.
The woman tells us that she decided she did not want children when she was around 16 years old. “I saw my mom taking care of kids and how it affected her and I did not want that,” she tells us.
With more and more women choosing to have child-free lives, the Redditor agrees that it’s important like-minded women share their experiences. Even though u/Sour_JollyRancher reiterated a few times in her post that she chose not to have children, some people still tried to chime in, claiming she would change her mind.
“If you see the comments on my post, I got [comments like] ‘Why are you getting married if you don’t want kids?’ Well, they’re not mutually exclusive. ‘You’ll change your mind.’ No, I made up my mind. ‘Your biological clock [will run out] and you’ll change your mind.’ No.”
“Men hear what they want to hear because I said none of that matters to me in the post and they said ‘Nah… we know what’s best’ As if they carry a child for nine months and [nine out of 10 times] the parenting is put on the mom,” the Redditor points out.
Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch / pexels (not the actual photo)
The Redditor’s response to the breakup might’ve seemed level-headed and detached, but, in reality, she is heartbroken
In the comments, some people accused the author of being too nonchalant about her relationship ending. She addressed it in her original post, but she reiterated to us as well how hard the breakup has been on her.
“Even [now] I’m still heartbroken and I will be heartbroken for a long time. I was with him for three years,” the Redditor points out. “I did not feel that I was coming off as being cold or nonchalant about the situation because.”
“I tend to analyze what I’m feeling more than feeling what I’m feeling so,” she explains. “With this post, I just put out the simple facts. I genuinely don’t know why people said [that]. I was cold all because I didn’t explicitly say ‘I cried at this point’ or ‘I was bawling my eyes out at this point.'”
After such an unexpected breakup, u/Sour_JollyRancher says she will be way more careful in the future. “This experience will make me more cautious in the future [about] making sure I am with someone who is 100% sure that they do not want kids. I mean. I’m going to grill them every single day.”
“I’m just kidding, but I will be more cautious on it because I don’t want to have another three-year four-year relationship and have it [end] because someone changed their mind. I might actively seek out men that [have] had a vasectomy so I don’t have to worry about it.”
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
Many people have lived a similar story and shared it with the OP
Many netizens praised the woman for how she handled the situation
