Like many fathers in the U.S., when Jon Morgan's first child was born, he didn’t get paid family leave. Balancing the demands of work and caring for a new baby were “incredibly challenging,” he said.
“I found myself rushing between meetings and late nights trying to catch up on emails, all while missing those precious early moments with my newborn,” Morgan, a father of two located in San Francisco, California, told Salon. “I missed those first smiles, the bonding time, and even the sleepless nights that, in hindsight, I wish I could have shared more fully with my partner.”
Parent-focused policies, like child tax credits, child care, and paid family leave, are receiving more air time during this year’s presidential election. It comes at a time when the U.S. Surgeon General recently issued an advisory that American parents are so stressed out that it’s a public health crisis, suggesting the country is truly at a tipping point when it comes to parental stress.
There are legitimate reasons why this is happening. The United States is the only high-income country, and one of only a few countries in the world, without a national paid family leave policy. While the U.S. has the Family and Medical Leave Act, research shows low-income workers are less likely to benefit. Some states have taken matters into their own hands by implementing a mandatory paid family leave policy, but not all.
Earlier this month, Americans watched vice presidential candidates Sen. JD Vance and Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz engage in a debate and answer questions about paid leave. During the debate, Walz agreed paid leave would be a “day one” priority for a Harris-Walz administration. Walz brought up a paid family and medical leave law he signed as governor that will go into effect in 2026. It will give workers 12 weeks at 90% of their pay to care for a newborn or sick family member.
“I had to go back to work five days after my kids were born,” Walz said on the debate stage. It was the first time a candidate suggested a lack of paid leave doesn’t only affect the person who gave birth, but it affects both parents.
In contrast, Vance’s proposed solutions for child care were heavily gendered. When asked the same question about paid leave, Vance responded with an anecdote about his spouse, Usha Chilukuri Vance, and how being a “working mom” is “extraordinarily difficult.” Vance said there needs to be a “family care model” that makes “choice possible” — in terms of mothers staying home with their children or returning to work.
For decades, paid leave has failed to be passed at a federal level. While both candidates agreed something needs to be done with the next administration, the conversation around paid leave, some experts believe, is dated. In other words, experts say more needs to be said about how the lack of paid leave affects families as a whole, including both parents, not just the mothers.
“There has to be some sort of family economy that includes men, and then there has to be a rebranding,” Eve Rodsky, author of the book "Fair Play," told Salon. “Until we acknowledge the problem that these are seen as policies for women, then we're never going to be able to include men.”
The burden of care, Rodsky said, has always been put on the mother and that’s why, in her opinion, this issue has yet to be solved.
“I think it is important to acknowledge that’s why these policies have never been solved because they're women's issues,” Rodsky said, suggesting that they aren’t taken as seriously. Plus, when men do take time off to care for their children, it can be seen as weak — like when Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg took paternity leave and was called a “loser.” Rodsky said this election cycle she’d like to see conversations between candidates expand beyond policies, and instead discuss what it means to be part of a family in America. Certainly, family values are being touted as a priority for both presidential candidates.
“Policy is important, but we didn’t get there with Build Back Better because we don’t ask this fundamental question: ‘What does it mean to be a participant in a family these days?’” Rodsky said. Scientific research continues to support the idea that families are better as a whole when both parents have access to sufficient paid family leave.
One 2021 study by McKinsey & Co. found that when fathers take leave, it benefits everyone in the family. First, 100 percent of those surveyed who took paid leave were glad they did, and 90 percent of those heterosexual men who took leave reported an improvement in their relationship with their partner. Fathers who took paid leave to bond with a new child also attributed a tighter bond to their increased presence. It can also, the study found, “level the playing field” for working mothers, and perhaps even ease the cognitive labor from the start of parenthood.
Other studies have shown that paid paternity leave is associated with a reduced risk of maternal postpartum health complications and an increased rate of infants receiving their necessary vaccines on time.
“Paid parental leave can reduce financial stress, allow parents to focus on bonding with their child, and increase gender equality when fathers have more time to participate in child care duties,” said psychologist Ashley Schappell D’Inverno, PhD, a behavioral scientist in the Division of Violence Prevention at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, in a media statement. “All of these positive effects trickle down to benefit the child and the family as a whole.”
Dr. Sham Singh, a Harbor UCLA-trained psychiatrist at Winit Clinic, said that having only a few days of paid leave had a “significant impact” on his transition to fatherhood.
“After just a few days, I found it challenging to leave my partner and newborn behind; I wanted to support my wife as she navigated the early days of motherhood, but I also had commitments at the clinic that I couldn’t ignore,” Singh said. “This juggling act added a layer of stress and anxiety, making it difficult to fully engage in those precious early moments with my child.”
In contrast, when his second child was born, he had the opportunity to take several weeks off changing his experience.
“This time, I could be fully present, involved in the daily routines, and fully engaged in caregiving,” Singh said. “Having that time transformed my relationship with my child and allowed me to be an equal partner in supporting my partner.”
Ultimately, having a paid leave, “set the stage” for a “healthy work-life balance, creating long-term positive effects on my family dynamics,” Singh said.
