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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle

Blind date: ‘What was I hoping for? A husband whose salary I could retire on at 30’

Calum (left) and Ciarán.
Calum (left) and Ciarán. Composite: Christian Sinibaldi/Jill Mead
Calum

Calum on Ciarán

What were you hoping for?
A rich, handsome future husband whose salary I could retire on at 30 and devote myself to fun stuff. More realistically, a fun evening with some nice company.

First impressions?
Ciarán was lovely! I liked his smile. We hugged spontaneously, like old pals.

What did you talk about?
Our trips to Colombia. Using Scottish/Irish slang in England. Our love of This Is My House. Our mutual distrust of anyone who eats green bananas.

Most awkward moment?
I’m dyspraxic, so eating in a taco restaurant on a date could have led to more carnage than it did.

Good table manners?
He didn’t make a hint of mess eating tacos, so I’d say they were magisterial.

Best thing about Ciarán?
He is a charming, warm person who seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me.

Would you introduce Ciarán to your friends?
Absolutely. They too are welcoming of fans of non-green bananas.

Describe Ciarán in three words.
Charming, funny, gregarious.

What do you think he made of you?
Probably that I was an eccentric but lovable Scottish man. He did well to hide his disgust on hearing I’d never been to Ireland (I’m sorry, one day).

Did you go on somewhere?
We stayed at the bar beyond some of the waiting staff to sample nearly every margarita on the menu, if that counts.

And ... did you kiss?
Alas, ’twas not to be.

If you could change one thing about the evening what would it be?
Not much. It was a very wholesome and jolly affair.

Marks out of 10?
A strong 8.

Would you meet again?
As friends, absolutely.

Calum and Ciarán on their date
Calum and Ciarán on their date Photograph: Courtesy of Calum & Ciaran
Ciaran

Ciarán on Calum

What were you hoping for?
To meet someone different, and get a 10 rating on my dating skills.

First impressions?
Super friendly, great smile, chatty.

What did you talk about?
Celtic roots (I’m Irish, he’s Scottish). How Greggs is overrated. Coming-out stories (the gay date staple). Perfect banana ripeness.

Most awkward moment?
None, he was so easy to chat to and we had a good few giggles over the set-up.

Good table manners?
Perfect, but it was a judgment-free zone because of the tacos.

Best thing about Calum?
His hilarious impersonations, and his ability to chat about anything without sounding like a know-it-all.

Would you introduce him to your friends?
Definitely, we Celts must stick together.

Describe Calum in three words.
Bubbly, fun, intelligent.

What do you think he made of you?
I recall him calling me “normal”, which I think is a win?

Did you go on somewhere?
No, but we were there for hours fleecing the place of their avocado-and-passion-fruit cocktails.

And ... did you kiss?
No, but Jesus, even if we did, our mutual Catholic guilt would never allow us to reveal it to the world.

If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
Boringly, nothing – I had a great time.

Marks out of 10?
9, couldn’t fault him.

Would you meet again?
I didn’t feel a romantic spark, but we agreed over text afterwards to be pals.

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