Billie Eilish has experienced "dark times" on tour.
The 'What Was I Made For?' hitmaker admitted she used to find life on the road "kind of unpleasant" and after trying to view it as a "temporary" stage in her life, she's learned to embrace playing live and wants to "enjoy" it.
She told America's Vogue magazine: “I’ve had some really dark times on tour. For a long time I was kind of living like it was temporary. Like, yeah, I’m touring for now and it’s kind of unpleasant, and whatever. It’ll be over.
“And the truth is, it’s the rest of my life.
“I didn’t realise that I could make touring enjoyable. I just was very lonely for many years, and I’m not interested in that anymore. I want to enjoy the show as well as my days.”
The 22-year-old star has also been enjoying playing music just for fun, rather than because of her work.
She said: “I’m a musician and you’d think I would’ve done that. But things blew up for me at an age when I would’ve been jamming with buddies. And because it was my career, I was not interested.
“So for the first time ever, I’m jamming, and it’s amazing. It’s so nice to not have pressure of like, Is this going to be the next single? It’s like, No, we’re just here. And it’s just right in the moment.”
Billie's current 'Hit Me Hard and Soft' tour will be her first without her brother Finneas O'Connell playing guitar, and without their parents on the road with her, and her family view the concert series as her "college" days.
Her mom, Maggie Baird, said: “It’s sort of our ‘going off to college year,’ I guess.”
Finneas added: “You want your family to come visit often, you don’t want your family to, like, be the dean of the college, or in your dorm room...
“There were many years where I sort of felt like I would never miss a show because, you know, Billie was 16 or 17 and I really had this feeling of needing to be there for every minute, and the truth is, over the last few years of touring she’s really become an adult.”
