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Alex Lewis

Bijan is wearing rainbows in public for Sydney WorldPride after fleeing a country where it could have cost him his life

Bijan Kardouni and his friends were forced to meet in secret when he lived in Iran. (ABC News: Alexander Lewis)

For most of his adult life, Bijan Kardouni has flown the rainbow flag in secret.

WARNING: Readers might find some details in this story distressing.

In his home country, Iran, homosexual activity is punished by death.

"Public hanging basically, just to scare the society and also LGBT community," he said.

"They do it like two times, three times a year."

Mr Kardouni sought asylum in Australia after a friend in Iran disappeared following a raid. (ABC News: Alexander Lewis )

Despite the danger, Mr Kardouni and his friends would display a pride flag at underground gay parties.

In 2017, while he was studying in Australia, one of those parties was raided by police.

A close friend disappeared in the raid, prompting Mr Kardouni to seek asylum.

"I was thinking, I cannot go back."

He once was lashed for drinking alcohol and for years classmates abused him.

"Because I've always been soft spoken, my difference was quite clear. It led to bullies, and unfortunately to rape."

His first partner bowed to family pressure and married a woman. Mr Kardouni helped arrange the wedding.

"It was so painful but because I loved him so much, I wanted to be sure that he was OK.

"I can say that his wedding night was one of the most difficult nights of my life."

The 38-year-old now lives in Sydney's inner-west and enjoys his freedom to wear rainbows in public.

But he misses his parents, who he hasn't seen in six years. It's uncertain when they'll meet again.

Consensual gay sex is still against the law in more than 60 countries, as it was in NSW in 1978, when police swarmed on a street parade calling for gay rights — the first Mardi Gras.

Diane Minnis escaped injury but says many of her fellow marchers suffered brutality.

"Some people, they bashed their heads against the side of the police wagons," she said, recalling that 53 people were arrested and taken to the Darlinghurst Police Station.

Ms Minnis was part of the first Mardi Gras in 1978. (ABC News: Alexander Lewis )

Rainbows now colour Taylor Square, the heart of Sydney's gay scene — just metres away from where that incident took place.

But the city's rainbow community extends far beyond.

Sarah Hopkins and Emma Mansell are married with three children, Aubrey-Rose, 8, Brooklyn, 5, and Kennedy, 2, and they're expecting another.

They live on Sydney's northern beaches.

"With my gender and identity being neutral, I deal with a lot of looks," Mx Mansell said.

Emma and Sarah have three children, with another on the way. (ABC News: Alexander Lewis)
Emma and Sarah say they prioritised having a family over buying a house. (ABC News: Alexander Lewis )

The couple had saved a deposit to buy a house but chose to start a family instead.

"We want a family over investing in a house. Because it was a big investment, and it is for many rainbow families, whether it is IVF or surrogacy," Ms Hopkins said.

Coinciding with the 45th Mardi Gras next Saturday, is an international event of even greater scale, Sydney WorldPride.

The event's chief executive Kate Wickett says it's a bit like the Olympics in that cities bid to host the festival.

"We also have a three-day Human Rights Conference. And so that has really become the cornerstone of our festival," she said.

From now until March 5, parties, arts and theatre events, and sports tournaments will take place across Greater Sydney.

Pharrell Shaymar was 16 when he was denied puberty blockers. (ABC News: Scott Jewell)

This weekend Pharrell Shaymar will be competing at the inaugural World Gay Boxing Championships.

He says the fight for transgender rights is ongoing.

At 16, doctors refused to prescribe him puberty blockers because he failed to meet their criteria.

"I nearly stepped into the next oncoming car when I left that session," he said.

When the Melbournian turned 18, he began hormone therapy.

"It's a lifesaver. You're allowing someone to feel human again, you're allowing them to have direction and purpose in their life."

Mr Kardouni will be one of 50,000 people expected to march across the Sydney Harbour Bridge at the end of the festival.

He hopes Sydney WorldPride will lead to more than acceptance.

"I don't like that word acceptance. I like the word embracing.

"Because acceptance to me is like something is bad and you need to accept something that is not good.

"But embracing something, to me, means that it's so natural. It's part of life."

Mr Kardouni says the word acceptance implies there is something wrong. (ABC News: Alexander Lewis)
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