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Manchester Evening News
Manchester Evening News
National
Helena Vesty

Big Brother: 20 years on from starring in the first series, Bolton's Nichola Holt reveals how her life fell apart after the show

This month marks two decades since the very first Big Brother series aired on our screens.

Long before the Love Island villa, it was the Big Brother house that dominated television - and it had the power to make its contestants into stars.

Ushering in a new era in television, Big Brother catapulted the likes of Jade Goody, Nikki Grahame, Chantelle Houghton and Brian Belo into the spotlight, as, instead of award-winning actors, ordinary people became the focus for an evening’s entertainment.

Contestants in the first series had no idea just how big the show, which premiered on July 18, 2000, would go on to be.

Nichola Holt, from Bolton, was among them.

Now, for the first time in many years, she is speaking publicly about her experiences on the show with the Manchester Evening News .

Nichola, who lives in Bromley Cross, told the M.E.N says the 'horrendous' fall-out from her appearance on the show lasted years - and drove her to a mental breakdown.

Nichola Holt played a part in TV history - but the consequences were personally devastating (Nichola Holt)

"It's such a long time ago and a lot has happened since then," Nichola said.

"We were the guinea pigs because we were in the first ones and being involved in that was really exciting and I had a really good time in there.

"But also it's really stressful, we didn't know what was going on - we didn't know if it was going to be a success, if anyone was watching it, we just didn't know what was going on really.

"Everything is magnified in there. You might feel a little bit insecure about something for a minute and it's magnified by about 100. You start to feel really paranoid.

"You have a lot of fun in there but when it turns on you, it's not a very nice experience because there's nowhere to run."

Show host Davina McCall (Mirrorpix)

On her 36th day inside, Nichola was evicted by public vote. While many contestants hope to get to the end and win the cash prize, Nichola says she was relieved to see the outside world.

"I was quite happy after five weeks getting out, I don't think I would have wanted to be in there that much longer," she said.

Nichola, who turned 28 while she was on the show, thought being inside was hard. To her horror, she found that leaving the house was 'even harder'.

"It turned out to be very traumatic for me from the moment I left the house.

"There was no support network for us, we were left to our own devices.

"We had no agents, now people have got agents, designers, people sponsoring them with clothing before they go on the programme. We had none of that.

"We got thrown out of the house, interviewed by the press and that was it.

"I was dropped off in the middle of London with the two suitcases from the house and told to go and find myself somewhere to stay.

"I had no money. I had to borrow the £50 to get on the train to London to actually go to the house in the first place.

"Luckily I had friends who live in London. But everyone wanted a piece of you, you've just come out of a massive show.

"There was no support, once you were out of they house, they just dumped you."

The show was produced by production company Endemol, which no longer exists in the form it did when Big Brother first aired.

On leaving the show, Nichola, found out she had become famous for stripping to make clay imprints of her naked body on the walls of the Big Brother house.

For her, that move was just part of her life as an artist - which she remains today. But it sent the country's tabloids wild - and set Nichola on a dark path.

It was reported at the time that Nichola was ‘banned from Bolton’ by her parents after they saw her exploits on the show.

Nichola walked out of the show with her suitcases - and entered a storm of tabloid notoriety (Nichola Holt)

"The reason I went on the show is because I was textile designer, one of the jobs I was working at the time was doing costumes for The Octagon in Bolton. But I really wanted to be a textile designer, my dream was to be in film and costume," said Nichola.

"I was just an arty person who had been an art performer for years. I didn't really watch TV before I went in but I thought there was a chance to move forward with my textiles and my art and it bit me on the a*se.

"We were edited to make it look like we were absolute fools. I was edited to be someone I'm not.

Nichola Holt fought to put her life back on track (Nichola Holt)

"When you've just come from a normal family and you're shoved on TV and they edit you as if you're some kind of northern numpty who has got a big gob, wears funny clothes and gets naked - all of a sudden people just see you as that.

"People have no idea you've got a personality or a heart. I felt used and we were thrown out on the streets and left.

"It was very traumatic and I was very naive. I didn't think there was a bad person on planet Earth and being on that show just devastated my bubble.

"My whole world came crashing down on me, there were so many vultures.

"I believe you should take chances in life, but some chances ruin your life.

"The way people saw me meant that they would never take me seriously, it meant my dreams could never happen."

"My life just fell apart after the show," Nichola added. "Reality hit and I had no support, no family, no agent watching my back. It was all too much.

"I trusted the wrong kind of people, got into abusive relationships.

"A few years later I was in hospital having a nervous breakdown, I just couldn't deal with the emotional turmoil.

"Eight years of my life are a complete blur and I practically spent them on my own. It was the most horrendous time of my life. People have no idea the kind of bad stuff that has happened to me, it was quite frightening.

"In the end, I just didn't want anything to have anything to do with the programme anymore, I wanted to move on."

Nichola Holt with her little one (Nichola Holt)

Nichola, now 48, has since rebuilt her life, mending the strained relationships with her parents just before her father died.

In 2011, she welcomed a daughter and, shortly afterwards, moved back to Bolton from Cambridge - something she credits with bringing the family back together.

But it’s not always been easy for Nichola to explain to her little girl why parents are school might recognise mum.

"It's strange now watching it because now I'm a mum - I've got a nine-year-old daughter and I have watched it with her," she said.

"She'd never seen Big Brother and she got told about it through people at school because I don't like talking about it because of the aftermath and what I went through.

"People make comments and it's quite frustrating because my daughter might read them one day and these people have no idea who you really are and what you've been through or why you're in that situation.

"It's horrible, especially if you've not been brought up in TV or drama like I wasn't."

These days, Nichola works in textiles - like she always wanted - and is training as a physiotherapist while raising her daughter.

"She's just beautiful, she's my best mate," Nichola said.

Nichola believes reality TV has changed since its early days - but thinks there is still work to be done to get contestants the support they need at an overwhelming time.

"It's different because they are very careful because people might have mental health concerns. But then, they just didn't care," said Nichola.

"If I went in there again, I'd be a different person. I've grown up. I've learned these lessons."

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