PATRIOT GAMES
The club v country row has come a long way. In the 1990s it only generated headlines when Alex Ferguson withdrew his entire first-team squad, the under-14s and the canteen staff from the upcoming international break. Now it involves something a little more sinister. Ben White, a man who had the effrontery to be born with the name of the predominant colour in the St George’s Cross flag, has declined the opportunity to sit around watching other people play for England. Worse still, he has done so in this of all weeks, when the ink isn’t even dry on that Photoshop.
Yep, the news about White – which Football Daily thought had been put to bed in 2022 – led to a startling reaction from the minority of demented patriots who dutifully thank King and country after every orga$m, and who think the solution to any kind of mental health issue or neurological difference is to stiffen the old upper lip, crack out a few bars of We’ll Meet Again in the shower and just be a bit more normal. (We won’t name them, because they’re human beings, and no human being deserves a pile-on from our 1,057 pedants over something so bloody trivial.)
The idea that White should be made to explain something that is a) private and b) often impossible to articulate because it COMES FROM THE VISCERA YOU ANTEDILUVIAN MISERY, is especially odd. White will now go into the biggest two months of his career knowing he is wanted for treason, and that to some people he is no better than that fella who deliberately evaded conscription in 1916 by eating himself out of contention. The difference is that White has chosen to miss friendlies against Brazil and Belgium, not an ongoing five-year fixture against the Central Powers.
And let’s be honest, this sanctimonious foaming makes it even less likely that he is ever going to change his mind. So maybe, by reducing England’s chances of winning Euro 2024 just to sate their narcissistic imperatives, people like [come on, you said you wouldn’t name them, you’re nearly there now – Football Daily Ed] should be done for treason as well.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“The staff know how much I love football. If there’s a ball in front of me, I’ll always play with it, no matter what it is: a tennis ball, a little floater – anything. Or I’ll make socks into a ball. They were like: ‘You’re not quite at the stage to be kicking balls.’ My first jog around the pitch, one of the players tried to pass me the ball and I just had to leave it. It was heartbreaking” – Coventry’s Callum O’Hare tells Ben Fisher about the pain of spending 303 days on the sidelines and why he can’t wait to get at Wolves, Scrappy Do-style, in their FA Cup quarter-final.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
I can’t see why anyone would have misgivings about the complexity of next season’s Big Cup draw (yesterday’s Football Daily). We have the perfect solution to any draw requirements. I refer, of course, to the splendid performance of the throughly refreshed Rod Stewart selecting one half of the teams in the Scottish Cup 2016-17 fifth round draw. I’m sure Rod could choose any number of teams at one time if Uefa so requires. But please, do not let us have Alan Stubbs, sober and suited, doing the other teams: he fell in to the classic trap of being uncertain about whether he’d drawn No 6 or No 9” – Ken Muir.
Well said, Russell Pulford (yesterday’s Football Daily letters), but you know, you could watch the Irish league for nowt on the BBC, and hear the great David Jeffrey wax lyrical over some exciting, honestly and passionately played games. And then just go to the nearest club you can find and, for a couple of quid, watch … say, that epic Golcar United v Emley semi-final which went to 13 penalties. Elite football fans are just like those goons who go to F1 in Ferrari baseball hats and admire the technical excellence of gearboxes from afar. Have some fun. It’s the best game in the world” – Jon Millard.
Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Ken Muir.
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