Barometer! Absinthe and syphilis boom — meanwhile everyone's already bored of Wicked

Going up!

Joan of Arc

The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc (ES)

Hey, Joan. The pop culture icon (and saint, of course) is in town — well, a 15th-century letter signed by her is on show at the British Library. No smoking, please.

Absinthe

The Gothic Bar (Justin De Souza)

Drink of the season per the Gothic Bar’s Jack Porter, who has noticed “even pubs are bringing it in”. When times get tough, etc.

Lapel-power continuum

Kamala Harris speaks to the press before a campaign rally in Detroit, Michigan (AFP via Getty Images)

Look out for Kamala Harris’s lapels this week. Typically they are Seventies-style vast. To get this election over the line, they might just extend past her shoulders.

Toffee apples

Toffee apple (stud farm fruit)

Nostalgic to put on your Instagram on Bonfire Night. Not as fun? Endless blurry clips from your local fireworks display. We know they are pretty. Just enjoy.

Going down…

Eating “family style”

The Osmonds gathered round the dinner table, August 1974 (Getty Images)

Either you’re left with nothing or you force-feed yourself five chicken breasts because everyone is veggie and the waste feels awkward.

Wicked

(Wicked)

November is Wicked month. Not Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo’s fault, but the build-up to this film has been a green and pink fois gras-style force feeding. Get it over with.

Syphilis

German dermatologist Erich Hoffmann who, with his colleague Fritz Schaudinn, discovered the bacterium which causes syphilis in 1905 (Getty Images)

Technically going up (highest levels since 1948), but popping down here so as not to encourage. NB: “Huge increase” among the West Midlands’ heterosexual population ...

Mike Ashley for Boohoo

Mike Ashley (PA Archive)

As luvvies (ahem, I) pondered the creative future of Dior or Loewe, Ashley has been muscling in for the CEO spot at Boohoo. You’ve enough, Mike! Boo hoo is right.