Former Deputy PM and self-appointed guardian of Christmas traditions, Barnaby Joyce, has found his latest thing to be mad about: gender-neutral Gingerbread People. Honestly, I can’t with 2024 anymore.
While the rest of us are worrying about trivial matters like the cost of living crisis or climate change, our boy Barnaby is out here fighting the dumb fight against biscuits.
The drama unfolded at Parliament House’s cafeteria, where the Gingerbread Man has apparently been given the boot in favour of a more inclusive, non-binary treat aka Gingerbread People. It’s a move that’s got Joyce and his mate, National Senator Matt Canavan, clutching their pearls and calling for everyone to “leave Christmas alone”. Apparently nothing says ‘Merry Christmas’ quite like a biscuit’s genitalia.
“It’s just like, all this stuff has been forced on me, just leave it,” Joyce said per News.com.au.
“Just leave Christmas. If you don’t want to buy Gingerbread Men, you don’t have to.” Someone please get this man a wambulance ASAP!!
Joyce believes this cookie controversy is symptomatic of a deeper political malaise. “The more you do this the more you piss people off and the more you encourage a Trump type snapback,” he said — because obviously, the path to political revolution starts with a biscuit.
Canavan added to the convo asking: “Why are woke people no fun? This doesn’t even rhyme! The fox would turn away in disgust and refuse to eat this poetic abomination!” Truly, the kind of hard-hitting analysis we’ve come to expect from our political leaders.
MP Kevin Hogan also had a tanty on X about seeing Gingerbread People everywhere. “The woke brigade have now made the Gingerbread Man gender-neutral!!! SERIOUSLY! Woolworths, Woman’s Weekly, Parliament House! This political correctness nonsense is out of control.” LMAO the men are melting down.
So here we are, apparently a nation divided by a biscuit with Joyce leading the charge on the war.
One commenter put it aptly, “I’m trying really hard but too busy caring about my electricity bill doubling in the last year to have energy left over for gingerbread people.”
Honestly, same. Either way, I’m going to go eat my weight in gingerbread people, byee.
Lead image: Getty Images
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