"This feels like real life,” says Declan Donnelly, settling back into the sofa next to Anthony McPartlin. “We’ve done this before.” You would have thought that after all those hours on telly performing for millions, Ant and Dec would want to do anything but watch it when they got home. “It’s my number-one way to relax,” says Dec. “We watch everything and we constantly text each other to check what we’re watching.” Dec’s last text to Ant was about the best ham sandwich in the world, as featured on Countrywise Kitchen. Ant’s alerted Dec to the Hairy Bikers’ pork terrine. As hosts of Britain’s Got Talent, the pair have been baffled by the competition revved up between BGT and The Voice. “It’s just about the time slot,” says Ant. Adds Dec: “But have any of their contestants sung, ‘Where’s Me Keys? Where’s Me Phone?’ Hopefully they will on season two”… Photograph: Ian Derry
"I wish I got offered more comedy,” says Anna Maxwell Martin. “People must think I just cry and have a sad face all the time.” It’s hard to feel sorry for her when she’s cried her way so brilliantly through such great TV shows as Bleak House, South Riding and White Girl. She gets to look sad in two new dramas this year. “I’m in a 50s thriller called The Bletchley Circle, which has a grisly murder and nice cossies.” Then there’s Jimmy McGovern’s Accused. “The part wasn’t like anything I’ve done before – I was cast as someone who works in a juvenile detention centre alongside Ewen Bremner.” Anna says she’s missing out on all the “groovy hot dramas” at the moment. “I’ve just had a baby so I’m in bed at 8pm. I’m watching Corrie though. It’s my dream to be in it when I’m 70. If I could end my days on Corrie, I’d be happy.” Photograph: Ian Derry
After the phenomenal success of prank-call extravaganza Fonejacker, Kayvan Novak is relishing his new role on hidden-camera show Facejacker, when he acts out his surreal characters instead. “It tickles my acting ability. It’s total immersion – no action, no cut – you’re with people who think you’re real.” The show was mainly filmed in the States, which Novak enjoyed. “If you’re winding up Americans, their buttons are in different places. I was trying to process how the British compare to the Americans, so I read Quentin Crisp. He says that the difference is that the British want you to fail because they’re afraid you’ll leave them behind. The Americans want you to succeed in case you take them with you. I want to be as articulate as that, instead of just regurgitating it.” Photograph: Ian Derry
Andrew Scott declares his role in Sherlock as arch-nemesis Jim Moriarty to be a blast. “Every time he appears he gets great stuff to do. You get real bang for your buck.” Though Scott first made his mark in theatre – appearing in productions such as Cock and A Girl in a Car with a Man in London and in David Hare’s The Vertical Hour in New York – he has two more TV dramas coming soon. First, there’s psychological drama The Fuse, starring alongside Christopher Eccleston – “It’s a very human story about obsession,” he says – then an adaptation of Daphne Du Maurier’s The Scapegoat. Then there’s the third series of Sherlock to consider – well, possibly. Any hints about the resolution of season 2’s cliffhanger, which seemed to end with the deaths of Moriarty and Holmes? “I have to remain schtum. Even my mother doesn’t know what happens.” Photograph: Ian Derry
I’m a massive disappointment,” says Zawe Ashton, star of C4’s Fresh Meat. Ashton’s partying character Violet, better known as Vod, won the hearts of viewers in the first series – so much so that when Ashton meets people at parties they expect her to be the last one standing. “It’s a compliment that people think I’m going to be like her – it means I’m doing my job properly. But I can see the disappointment in people’s eyes when I switch to fizzy water before heading for the door at a decent hour!” Ashton’s star has been on the ascent for a couple of years now. She’s appeared on stage as well as screen, and she’s also honing her skills as a writer, including a stint as writer-in-residence for production company Clean Break. Writing full time would never be an option either. “I’d start seeing things if I were on my own that much. I need to act.” Photograph: Ian Derry
Jo Brand bats away the suggestion that she’s a national treasure. “To me that’s someone who has a global reach, like Helen Mirren, or someone who’s extremely good, like Stephen Fry. I don’t have that. I’ve just calmed down a bit, and that’s only because once I had children I was so bloody knackered I could be nothing but calm.” Though her audience has widened as she’s written novels, appeared on panel shows and acted in the superlative comedy Getting On, Brand says she’s planning to go back to stand-up. “The world has become a horrible place for women again and I want to be gobby about it.” Before then, though, she’s very happy to talk about TV. “I had aspirational working-class parents who thought you shouldn’t let your kids watch crap on telly. If my parents read this – it’s your fault I’m a complete telly addict now.” Photograph: Ian Derry
Charlie Higson says that The Fast Show fans are very kind. “There was never a backlash against the show, everyone remembers it fondly.” Swiss Tony, Competitive Dad and Ted and Ralph have also found new fans with its recent online revival. “It was a laugh working with everyone again, and lovely to see Caroline Aherne. I hadn’t seen her in over 10 years.” Higson now has a new set of fans – avid followers of his series of zombie books for young adults. “The age group I write for speak their minds. I did an event recently where a kid stuck his hand up and said: ‘I don’t mean to be rude, but don’t you think you could have done more with your life than writing about zombies?’ It stopped me in my tracks. Maybe he’s right.” Photograph: Ian Derry
Alfie Allen swans into the photo-shoot grinning from ear to ear. “I’ve just found out that I’ve been put forward by my producers for a best supporting actor Emmy – it’s like a pat on the back to say I’m doing well.” Allen’s potentially award-wining role is that of Theon Greyjoy in HBO’s hit fantasy drama Game of Thrones, now in its second season on Sky Atlantic. Filming is in Belfast and the crew, he says, feels like a family. “It’s off the scale – there are so many people involved in making it, but we work together brilliantly. And it feels special to be a part of something right from the start.” He’s just come back from LA, where he had “interesting meetings about interesting roles”. But, he admits, “I’m a real homebody. I’m not a big fan of living out of a suitcase." Photograph: Ian Derry
"I’m not a comedian,” says Rebecca Front, confounding all your expectations. She may be loved for her roles in Grandma’s House, The Thick of It and Nighty Night (“People still come up to me in the street to talk about Alan Partridge,” she says), but she sees herself purely as an actor. “I’m always surprised I’m not doing more drama.” She does confess to getting the giggles during The Thick of It, though – “I’ve close to disgraced myself” – but not too often as it’s “genuinely scary being shouted at by Peter Capaldi” [as Malcolm Tucker]. Serious actor she may be, but Front’s also had to get used to being herself on TV as she notches up the panel-show appearances on the likes of Have I Got News For You and Would I Lie to You? “I have a character who’s Rebecca Front for all that. I make the jokes I normally make, but as a heightened version of me.” Photograph: Ian Derry
"Did you know,” asks Vic, as Bob rests his head on Vic’s chest, “Did you know that Downton Abbey is filmed in Nairobi?” Bob snuggles in deeper. They belong together these two, even now, 22 years after they first appeared side-by-side on TV on Vic Reeves Big Night Out. “What do you eat while you’re watching telly, Bob?” asks Vic. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be than in front of the telly, me,” Bob replies. “I sit there from the start of The One Show and eat. Last night I had a bar of butterscotch chocolate, some monkey nuts, prawn crisps and stilton on crackers. And some lager.” “I had celery, hummus, goat’s cheese, Snack a Jacks and a pint of orange squash. I feel naked without snacks,” adds Vic. They love TV. “Except for the freak-show stuff – you know, Embarrassing Bodies, 16-Year-Old Fat Bastard.” “If there was a hanging,” muses Vic, “we’d all tune in.” Photograph: Ian Derry
