The 78th British Academy Film Awards, is taking place tonight at the Royal Festival Hall on London’s Southbank.
David Tennant is presenting for the second year running and hotly tipped to scoop the major awards are Conclave, Wicked and Emilia Perez; well, the latter was hotly tipped until various scandals overwhelmed its momentum, including uncovered nasty tweets by its star Karla Sofia Gascon.
But hey, this is all about undeserving winners as well as deserving. So let’s see who picks up what...
Stars hit the red carpet
19:01 , Martin RobinsonDemi Moore and co hit the red as the frocks get their airing and stylists stress:
David Tennant's opening song
19:08 , Martin RobinsonTennant is one of the loveliest luvvies around and he draws on that in his opening sketch. Backstage, various thespy stars appear in his magic mirror to give him some advice: Helen Mirren, Jim Broadbent, Brian Cox... who tells him “he’s carrying the spirit of Scotland with him.”
It leads into a rendition of The Proclaimers’ I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles), probably the most irritating song ever written.
Cringe levels make an early appearance as Tennant asks various celebs in the audience to sing along with him.
James McAvoy isn’t keen. Anna Kendrick is.
And then it’s finally over. That was quite sweet, but I hope to never see or speak of it again.
Tennant's opening monologue
19:14 , Martin RobinsonReally? Who writes this. My dad?
I like Tennant, but he’s no stand-up.
“I thought the sequel to Dune was called July...” was a low point.
“Putinder” another one. A gag about dating Russian oligarchs, which I can’t even bring myself to properly repeat.
Generally it seemed the monologue was received with good-natured embarrassment.
Although he brought a round of applause when he mentioned Donald Trump and said, “talking of villains...”
First award: Special visual effects award
19:20 , Martin RobinsonPresented by Ralph Fiennes and Isabella Rossellini. Genuine Hollywood royalty.
Isabella brings the Italian glamour while Fiennes bring the stiff upper lip.
And the winner is Dune: Part Two!
You know, the film that was by far the best film of the year but will be snubbed for the rest of the night because it’s too popular... yeah that one!
Best children's & family film
19:25 , Martin RobinsonThe first time this category has been awarded, and about time too, though you may as well call it the Aardman award.
And of course the winner is: Wallace and Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl!
Well, of course it is. Anything else and you’d have a revolution on the streets of London tonight.
Lovely Nick Park turns up holding the tiny figurines from the film. No silly bowtie like back in the day at previous ceremonies though. Sad times.
Outstanding debut by a British writer, director or producer
19:31 , Martin RobinsonPresented by Zoe Saldana and Selina Gomez from Emilia Perez, who are quite charming, with Saldana saying the award allows her to use a British phrase she’s just learned: it does exactly what is says on the tin.
And the winner is Rich Peppiatt for Kneecap!
Nice to see the Kneecap boys in there, complete with Irish balaclava. Though it seems the cameramen discreetly avoids the anti-establishment band at the heart of this film.
He talks about meeting Kneecap in Belfast and about how they should have “their language respected, their culture respected and their homeland respected.”
And that’s as close to political as we’re likely to get.
Best Original Screenplay
19:35 , Martin RobinsonI thought Anora would be on for this one, but no it’s A Real Pain, the brilliant comedy written and directed by Jesse Eisenberg, and featuring Kieran Culkin as the titular pain.
Eisenberg seems genuinely surprised by it: he says he’d like to share it with his wife, “who isn’t here because she didn’t think he’d win.”
He continues with effusive praise for hers in his lovely nervy way. Who doesn’t love him?
Best Adapted Screenplay
19:40 , Martin RobinsonStephen Merchant presents this one, and follows quite a poor line of gags about Hollywood adapting everything including board games... and him auditioning for a version of Buckeroo!, but Glen Powell beating him to it “because he has to be in everything.”
Didn’t work.
Anyone Conclave win this one. Peter Straughan accepts it for adapting Robert Harris’ book. He says he made it into “Mean Girls” which is the best under the radar gag thus far.
Best Animated Film
19:43 , Martin RobinsonWill Sharp and Jesse Eisenberg present it, and do a funny line about (the live action) A Real Pain being stop-motion, with Eisenberg having to adjust Kieren Culkin’s body for every shot.
Low-key lols.
The winner is Wallace and Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl again of course.
Why not just give it Best Film? I mean, really, could anyone argue? Apart from all the agents bringing A-List stars over to London in February.
Nick Park is cute. Still has the vibe of someone making models in his bedroom.
A musical performance: Take That!
19:46 , Martin RobinsonSorry, did I miss something? Why are they here?
They’re singing ‘Greatest Day’.
Oh wait, I did miss something. The song was in Anora for a bit. Well, it seems that’s enough of an excuse to wheel out Gary, Mark and the Other One.
There’s lasers and dancers but the vocals are a bit off and the ceremony suddenly has the vibe of an end-of-term school revue.
Hardly Kendrick Lamar at the Superbowl is it?
Timothee Chalamet and Kylie Jenner
19:49 , Martin RobinsonDavid Tennant’s funniest moment so far. Making a gag about Timothee Chalamet and Kylie Jenner being actually lookalikes of themselves. “You need to work on the voice,” he tells him
Lovely stuff.
Best Supporting Actor
19:52 , Martin RobinsonOrlando Bloom and Vanessa Kirby announce Kieran Culkin as the winner!
Guttingly he’s not there. Jesse Eisenberg picks it up for him. Explains he is with a sick family member and says Culkin is, “A person who is wonderfully talented but by some trick of the cosmos has his priorities in order.”
Pithy.
And the winner of Supporting Actress is...
19:58 , Martin RobinsonZoe Saldana for Emilia Perez.
Now I didn’t like Emilia Perez, not because of the potential offence it caused but because it’s just not very good. Wicked was miles better as a musical.
Anyway, Saldana is a fine actress who deserves many awards.
Visibly emotional she says it was “the creative challenge of a lifetime.” And that the film “defies categorisation.” Here’s a category for it: Bad.
It’s some speech she gives though, she’s sobbing by the end. While bringing the laughs. What a star.
Outstanding British Contribution to Cinema
20:08 , Martin RobinsonSimon Pegg appears to present this. Gives a slightly awkward speech about having been snubbed at the awards, which the Hollywood celebs don’t seem to get the humour of.
The award goes to Medicinema, a charity which allows patients in NHS hospitals to watch movies, having the space for wheelchairs and even beds inside.
Beautiful little film about the work they do to give very sick patients and their families a bit of respite from life on the wards.
And the winner of Outstanding British Film is...
20:14 , Martin RobinsonShame not to see Kneecap win this one, as that could have been an incendiary moment.
Instead it’s Conclave that wins. The kind of cerebral thriller that film academies love.
Ralph Fiennes is always good value. Isabella Rossellini deserves another moment in the sun.
Hilariously the very German director Edward Berger undermines the whole British thing. But he gives a nice speech about democracy under threat and why they made this movie. Courtly intrigue? Hey that’s just our daily politics.
In Memoriam sectio
20:19 , Martin RobinsonWeirdly, Jeff Goldblum plays As Time Goes By on the piano to this section.
As people clap for their favourite deceased star.
No applause for Anouk Aimee. Or Louis Gossett Jr
Or James Earl Jones.
Shelley Duvall.
Roger Corman.
Does non one clap anymore?
Donald Sutherland? Not a sausage.
Ok this is a thing now.
Kris Kristofferson?
Ah it’s definitely a thing. No clapping till the end. Or are all eyes on Goldblum, who’s now playing one-handed?
David Lynch. Come on guys, applaud Lynch!
Dame Maggie Smith - she’s last so picks up some of the ovation for Goldblum.
Er, well done Jeff!
Next up... the Rising Star award
20:28 , Martin RobinsonThis award has been going for 20 years now, which is nice, as its the one chosen by the public and has a good track record of winners, including Daniel Kaluuya and James McAvoy, who was the first.
And then the Duke of Cambridge arrives, with his beard. He now loos like Jeremy Beadle. A good thing. If you’re a gameshow host.
McAvoy and Laetitia Wright present it.
And David Jonsson wins it!
A surprise as Mikey Madison was so on to win this for Anora.
But a welcome surprise as Jonsson was excellent in Alien: Romulus. He talks about being an east London boy who didn’t see a place for him in this industry but says as long as people tell stories there’ll be “places for me and people like me... I dedicate this to all the people, the dreamers... ‘star’ I don’t know, but ‘rising’ I guess.”
What a hero.
Best Director
20:32 , Martin RobinsonAnna Kendrick awards it to...
The Brutalist!
Or more specifically:
Brady Corbet!
A very well directed film and a humble guy.
But I have to say, did he deserve to beat Denis Villeneuve for Dune: Part Two.
Well?
No is the answer.
Bafta Fellowship Award
20:41 , Martin RobinsonWarwick Davis wins this!
Presented by Tom Felton who recalls meeting him on the set of Harry Potter.
Tributes are paid to Davis on VT by Ron Howard, Mark Hamill, and George Lucas.
He was only 11 when he was in Return of the Jedi as Wicket the Ewok, didn’t realise that.
He is also celebrated for his representation for little people and broken down barriers.
“One of the hardest working men in showbusiness,” says Hamill.
His kids pay lovely tribute and he receives a standing ovation, which is first stirring of tears to eyes on this Bafta night, particularly when he pays tribute to his wife, who died a year ago. Not a dry eye in the house.
And the winner of Leading Actor is...
20:50 , Martin RobinsonPamela Anderson presents this, looking old school Hollywood glamour.
And the Bafta goes to:
Colman Domingo for Sing Sing.
Nope, it goes to Timothee Chalamet for A Complete Unknown.
Except it doesn’t, no it goes to Adrian Brody for The Brutalist.
He’s brilliant but it would have liked to see the other two get the recognition.
He seems very moved though and humble. Ah, well done Adrian! Who can pick one over the other anyway? This isn’t bodybuilding.
Best Actress
20:57 , Martin RobinsonChiwetel Ejiofor and Leo Woodall do a shameless plug for Bridget Jones: Mad About Boy and are pretty awkward together.
The winner is Mikey Madison!
Making up for her Rising Star snub earlier.
Snubbed instead is Demi Moore, who was odds-on to win for The Substance to follow up her Golden Globes victory.
Personally I thought The Substance to be an overlong over-directed slab of gaudy satire, though Moore was decent in it.
Madison laid more on the line for Anora though.
Marianne Jean-Baptiste doesn’t look happy for missing out for Hard Truths. Mike Leigh is beside her, shaking his head.
Madison sends love and thanks to the sex worker community. Didn’t get that kind of thing ten years ago.
And the winner of Best Film is...
21:08 , Martin RobinsonMark Hamill gives a shaky performance as presenter.
Says, “In troubling times it’s an honour to be in the business of escapism... I won’t mention names.” he says, seemingly refraining from what he wanted to say. He continues in a very nervy manner to introduce:
Conclave as the winner!
Fair enough, good film, good watch.
Was it better than Dune: Part Two, which wasn’t even nominated in this category? I think not.
And essentially it’s a bit of a deflating end to proceedings. You want a cinema-changing work of art, don’t you? Something that says something about the era, and breaks new ground? It did the former, but the latter?
It “celebrated the hope that happens when we welcome difference into our lives,” says the producer. Fair enough.
And that’s it, the Baftas is over!
3 stars out of 5 for Tennant. Likeable host but only landed the odd gag.
2 out of 5 for the ceremony as a whole. It lacked excitement and memorable moments.
Warwick Davis stole the show, who’d have predicted that?
