When is a chip a chip and when is it not? This is a question I kept asking myself when I was tasked with taste-testing the most readily available non-potato-based chips in supermarkets.
Ultimately, a potato chip is a thin slice of potato – sometimes a slice of reconstituted potato (I’m looking at you, Pringles) – that has been fried or baked until crisp, then seasoned. That means anything that isn’t a potato, but has received the same treatment, would qualify as a non-potato chip.
Additionally any grain – and grains are technically fruits – that has been dried, pulverised, reconstituted, pressed, fried, baked or popped would also fall under that category. However, if the item takes any obvious non-chip form (such as Shapes), they are a cracker or a “crisp snack” – and not a chip.
You may notice a glaring omission of corn chips. They are an entirely separate category and deserve their own taste test.
Once these rules were set, I began manically reading the ingredients lists of foil packages in the snack aisle. To streamline the tasting process, where possible, I purchased either the sea salt or original flavour of the product so I could experience its least-adulterated form. Each chip was judged on its crunch, flavour, texture and aftertaste that totalled up to 10 points. I also considered the aroma of each chip because, boy, are non-potato chips pungent.
Another, unscored element that I factored into the eating experience was greasiness. I judged this by weighing out five grams of each chip and placing it on a plain sheet of paper to see how much oil was left behind – much like at tempura restaurants, where if an item has been fried optimally, it leaves little or no grease on a piece of paper, indicating the chef’s skills.
The blot test is also very much like the Window to Weight Gain test, as espoused by Dr Nick to Homer Simpson.
Best overall and best value
Sunbites Grain Waves Sea Salt 170g, $4.80 ($2.82 per 100g) from Coles
Score: 8.5/10
I must admit, I did not expect the plain flavour of Grain Waves to come out on top in both flavour and value. The idea of chewing on a glorified salted wafer made of 65% wholegrains didn’t initially appeal to me, but the thick, cracker-like consistency came with an unapologetic punch of salt, which was welcome after so many surprisingly sweet-tasting chips. The wholegrains are coarsely ground and the chip’s chunky, undulating texture seems scientifically engineered to encourage an addictive, mindless shovelling. There is a naturally sweet, toasted cereal aftertaste to round off the initial salty hit. Simply put, Grain Waves scored so highly because they delivered exactly what is written on the bag. They are waves, and they are made of grains.
Notable mention
Orion Turtle Chips Sweet Corn/Corn Soup 80g, $3.30 ($4.13 per 100g) from Coles and Woolworths
Score: 8.25/10
“Wow! Four layers!” The defining feature of a Turtle Chip, as I am repeatedly reminded on the packet, is the four-layer structure that, if viewed from the correct angle, is meant to resemble the shell of a turtle. Slightly barbaric or cute, depending on how you look at it. The chip itself is light and completely dissolves as soon as it meets saliva thanks to its corn flour base. And the flavour, against all logic, tastes exactly like sweet corn soup without being cloying, thanks to the subtle tang of citric acid on the back of the palate and the lingering, lactic, buttery aftertaste.
The rest of the test
DJ&A Crispy Broccoli Florets 45g, $6 ($13.33 per 100g) from Coles, Harris Farm and Woolworths
Score: 8/10
My notes on the aroma of these broccoli chips are “rancid oil” and “farts”. They smell like a room at the end of a morning hot yoga session where everyone in attendance ate chickpeas for dinner. Thankfully, they taste nothing like they smell. There is a shattering crunch that the packet attributes to the low cooking temperature, accompanied by a pleasant vegetal sweetness. Surprisingly, there is no detectable bitterness usually associated with broccoli, which would make this a good way to trick yourself into eating more greens (although at a substantially higher cost, by weight, than fresh broccoli). Just open the bag a few minutes before you eat it so the trapped sulphur blows off.
Ajitas Vege Chips Natural 100g $4.90 ($4.90 per 100g) from Coles and Woolworths
Score: 6.5/10
For me, the packet has always had “sucker” written all over it. It claims to be vegan, nut-free, gluten-free, dairy-free and egg-free, but aren’t all chips? These light-as-air crisps are 60% cassava which accounts for the mild, subtle sweetness. If you’re after crunch, you’ll satisfy your cravings here. But if you’re searching for flavour, you’d do well with one of their seasoned varieties or to pair these with a dip. A perfectly serviceable chip, but these will always be a supporting act, never the main event.
Nongshim Onion Flavoured Rings 50g, $2.20 ($4.40 per 100g) from Coles, Woolworths and Asian groceries
Score: 6.5/10
Onion: you either love it or you hate it. And if the reflective green foil and cartoon of an onion DJ-ing on the packet says anything, it’s that you freaking love onions – which is fortunate, because the second ingredient of these chips is onion. The chip itself is made of a mix of starches including wheat, corn and tapioca, which produces an aerated, brittle hoop shaped to resemble an onion ring (just in case you forgot what you were eating). The onion flavour is more on the sweet and mellow side, but the raw, sulphuric allium sensation lingers on your tongue long after you’ve finished the bag. You have been warned.
Kettle Sweet Potato Sea Salt 135g, $6.50 ($4.81 per 100g) from Coles and Woolworths
Score: 6/10
Oh, sweet potato crisp, I wanted to love you because you’re only made with three ingredients: sweet potato, oil and salt. Unfortunately because sweet potatoes are sweeter, higher in water content and more fibrous than regular potatoes, they produce second-rate chips. The high sugar content means the sweetness carries a burnt aftertaste. The higher water content means the texture – kettle-cooked or not – will never produce the same, satisfying crunch. And the fibre, well, you can feel the strands of it clinging to the back of your mouth after a few chews. For hardcore sweet potato lovers only.
Hippeas Chickpea Puff Snacks Sweet & Smokin’ 78g, $6 ($7.69 per 100g) from Coles
Score: 5.5/10
As soon as I opened the bag I was hit in the face with the smell of artificial smoke; the kind that made me involuntarily pull my head back and wonder what I had agreed to when I signed up for this tasting. There is uneven flavour distribution in my bag – the puffs were either pale and anaemic or assaulted with seasoning. With the chips that are adequately seasoned, the flavouring tastes pleasantly sweet, salty and smoky which smothers the legumes’ pasty aftertaste – sadly, these chips are few and far between. The texture is like a heftier Cheeto but the flavour is exponentially more bean-y. This is the kind of health chip that tastes exactly like a health chip. Zero grease detected.
Karma Bites Popped Lotus Seeds Peri Peri 25g, $3.20 ($12.80 per 100g) from Coles and Woolworths
Score: 4.5/10
The problem I have with most chips that claim to be spicy is that they’re never spicy. These popped lotus seeds, however, are unexpectedly hot. Aggressively so, which makes sense considering chilli is the first seasoning listed in the ingredients. Karma Bites make various health claims, such as the whole bag contains only 100 calories (around 418kJ), which probably explains why the texture of these chips is closer to popcorn than a crisp. The spice may be spicing, but alas, the chip is not chipping.
Keep It Cleaner Lentil Chips Sea Salt 90g, $5.50 ($6.11 per 100g) from Coles and Woolworths
Score: 3/10
Before learning the origins of Keep It Cleaner, my tasting notes read: “Tastes like fitness and cardboard.” This is another chip marketed as “healthy snacking” – it’s gluten-free, vegan and the brand is fronted by a pair of wellness influencers. For a legume-based crisp, the flavour is better than the Hippeas, but that’s where the positives end. The blot test also revealed these lentil chips left behind the most grease on the day. The bag has a four-star health rating; by comparison Red Rock Deli Sea Salt potato chips is rated three-and-a-half stars.
