Thank for joining me. Here is Joey Lynch’s report.
Harry Souttar on his goal: “Duke does not deserve it. I was trying to get out the way but it hit me and went in. I will take it.”
On the win: “Although we have been playing good football against good teams, we have not been getting wins, so it was important to get one tonight and a cleansheet for the defence.”
On Circati: “I am so happy to be on the park. A shout out to Circati who was making his debut, I thought he was first class.”
The Soccer Ashes trophy is awarded to the Subway Socceroos. It looks like a cheap cup from Brentford high street.
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Alessandro Circati: “This is my third camp with the boys and this is my first cap. I am really happy we won and my first game for the Socceroos. Arnie told me I was playing this morning and told me to play how I play for my club. I felt comfortable, like I’d been playing with these boys for many years.”
Graham Arnold: “The most important thing is creating chances and we created plenty but didn’t put many in the back of the net. I am pleased with how we played and improvement is the key.”
Massimo Luongo: “An amazing feeling. I just enjoyed it. I wasn’t nervous, I didn’t build it up in my head. I felt at home.
“Today, Arnie put me in and put his full trust in me. I think the boys played really well. We played with a lot of freedom. I am just happy to get on the pitch and do what I can do. I loved it.
It was all very easy for Australia who did not get out of second gear against an average team.
Full time! Australia 2-0 New Zealand
Not much was learned here. Australia are better than New Zealand making them the Soccer Ashes champions!
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88 mins: Ryan has to come out to head clear after a weird looping backpass his sent his way.
86 mins: Waine bends in a lovely cross, which Stain feels the need to chest behind. There are some inflatable kiwis being thrown onto pitch. It’s all good-natured fun.
84 mins: New Zealand get the ball into the box, there is a touch of chaos before the ball ands at Garbett’s feet but he drags a shot well wide under pressure.
Down the other end it should be three. A fine move ends with a neat cross to the back post for Borrello to knock into an open goal but he taps wide from roughly two yards out.
82 mins: SUBS! Wood and Boxall off, Bindon and Mata on for NZ. Metcalfe and Boyle off, O’Neill and Silvera on for Oz.
80 mins: There is a lot more space for Australia to operate in now and the Socceroos will fancy their chances of adding a third.
78 mins: Boyle gets in space on the right and drives a cross along the six-yard line but no one in yellow can connect, with Borrello inches away from turning home.
GOAL! Australia 2-0 New Zealand (Irvine, 76)
The Soccer Ashes are heading to Australian. The 5,761 inside the Gtech tonight witness Boyle swing a corner kick to the back post where Irvine is waiting in space to nod in. All very easy.
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74 mins: Champness is felled by Strain on the left after some tricky footwork from the Kiwi but the free-kick comes to nothing.
More All Whites changes. Just and Tuiloma off, Waine and Kirwan on.
72 mins: A few subs have meant the game has become a little sloppy. Not much happening of note.
70 mins: Tuiloma tries to send in a cross but miscues it and it lands in Ryan’s arms. Does it count as a shot on target?
68 mins: Goodwin almost makes an instant impact, cutting in from the left and aiming for the corner but Pijnaker is there to block. The rebound reaches Strain but he fires wide.
67 mins: And the Kiwis …
Champness is on for Greive. The New Zealand is a rapper in his spare time, don’t you know?
66 mins: Here come the subs …
Irvine, Goodwin and Borrello on; Bos, Duke and Luongo off
They were arguably the Socceroos three most effective players.
64 mins: Tuiloma steps up … he brings some “whip and dip” as the commentator puts it but the ball hits the top of the bar and goes over.
63 mins: New Zealand are yet to have a shot on target.
A foul by Metcalfe on McCowatt gives them a chance to change that from 30 yards …
61 mins: Garbett is on the deck with a sore right ankle. The NAC Breda man has looked promising tonight. He has decent pedigree after time with Torino and is a good crosser of the ball.
59 mins: Wood finally gets another chance to touch the ball in the box but he is adjudged offside, which will be frustrating for him.
57 mins: Luongo has found his passing range and he his latest effort finds Duke but it is a difficult volley, which he can only shuffle wide.
55 mins: Metcalfe turns provider for Boyle, who goes through one-on-one, but Woud is out quickly to stop the shot.
I fear the hour mark will see a plethora of changes and the game will become ludicrously disjointed.
53 mins: The Socceroos break at something akin to speed down the left. The ball reaches Duke, who pings a cross for Boyle to attack. The forward flicks it on but no one in yellow is waiting to tap home.
More decent play from Australia sees the All Whites opened up, culminating in Luongo slipping a pass through for Metcalfe, who whacks a decent shot but Woud turns it over.
“How is this not called the Downunder Derby?” asks Brand King.
51 mins: Garbutt sends a beautifully whipped cross into the box but Souttar is there to head clear. That is the sort of delivery Wood wants.
49 mins: Bos tries another curling effort from 20 yards with his right foot but this one is devoid of power and accuracy.
47 mins: Boxall is not happy with a challenge from Bos, as the Australian shows no interest in winning the ball. New Zealand get the free-kick but nothing more.
Second half
Here we go again!
A Socceroos change: Strain on, Miller off.
The goal has been awarded to Souttar, as it took a little nick off him after Duke’s shot.
And we cut back briefly to the pundits on their phones.
We go back to the studio where there is a sponsored segment named the ‘Subway subs’ where the pundits discuss who could come off the bench. Quite hilarious.
Half-time reading.
Half time: Australia 1-0 New Zealand
The scoreline is a fair reflection of a quintessential international friendly.
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44 mins: Luongo commits a foul on Greive and then gets bundled over by Boxall. The Ipswich Town man raises a smile when Attwell awards the free-kick against the midfielder. He is enjoying being back on the international scene after a five-year absence.
43 mins: Greive wins his team a free-kick on the left. It is in a dangerous position but McCowatt whacks it straight out of play, much to the chagrin of his teammates.
40 mins: Miller receives a long pass down the flank and drills in a dangerous cross Pijnaker reads it, testing his groin to stop it.
The Soccer Ashes is a rubbish name, to be fair.
38 mins: “G’Day Will,” Chris Paraskevas begins. “The Football Australia “Brains Trust” were undoubtedly proud of finding a new and exciting way to promote this old and boring rivalry: the B̶l̶e̶d̶i̶s̶l̶o̶e̶ ̶C̶u̶p̶ “Soccer Ashes ®”. Many Hi-5s undoubtedly exchanged by Millenials in their Country Road attire at FA Headquarters.
“My iconic Subway Socceroos™ v Round Ball Blacks moment? The 2002 OFC Nations Cup Final and a boilover of truly epic proportions. A result that practically brought the late, great Johnny Warren to tears - his iconic post-match broadcast remains seared in my mind. An underrated lowpoint for the domestic game and Australian national team.”
37 mins: Boyle turns a cross in from close range but he is clearly a yard offside and the flag goes up immediately. Boyle knew it was coming too.
36 mins: The New Zealand plan is to get crosses into Wood. The latest causes problems and Behich turns behind for a corner that comes to nothing.
Cacace collects the ball around 40 yards from goal and lets fly. It goes nowhere near the goal.
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34 mins: There always seems to be a bit of space in New Zealand’s right-back area to exploit if Australia can move the ball quickly enough. I think they know this but can’t execute the plan.
32 mins: Bos looks impressive, popping up all over the place and has a decent left foot. He is only 20 years old, so I will make a mental note to keep an eye on him and claim I was the first person to spot him, despite him being a full international.
30 mins: Finally a good cross finds Wood in the box, he flicks it towards the far post, it is heading wide but Ryan gets down to stop the ball just in case.
I am not saying it is quiet inside the stadium but you can hear the coaches shouting instructions at the players. Can the fans not start chanting the Neighbours theme tune or Waltzing Matilda?
28 mins: Australia are certainly on top now. Everything is going in the direction of the New Zealand goal. Their latest corner al most lands perfectly for Souttar but he can’t make good contact. The ball is cleared but comes straight back into the box towards Duke and flashes wide off his crown.
26 mins: Bos collects the ball around 20 yards or so from goal. He takes a touch to get it out of his reach and looks to whip it into the top corner, forcing Woud into making a good diving save.
Bos takes the corner but the All Whites clear.
24 mins: The last time these two nations played for the Soccer Ashes was 1954 and the commentator is desperate to use every fact he has learned about that match. Fair play to him on the research.
22 mins: Duke should have a second. The cross is straight at him from the left and his control is almost too good, stopping it dead, making it too hard for him to muster a shot and New Zealand intervene.
20 mins: The tempo of this match is not exactly lightning. No one will be testing their hamstrings.
18 mins: Ryan comes out of his box to clear the ball before the situation can become dangerous. I am not sure trying to use Wood’s pace is the best idea for New Zealand.
16 mins: The All Whites have decided to to calm their nerves by knocking the ball around at the back.
14 mins: New Zealand had started brightly but fell asleep for the opener. Hopefully they will be able to bounce back.
GOAL! Australia 1-0 New Zealand (Souttar, 13)
A deep cross is punted to the back post where Circati is waiting to knock the ball back into a dangerous area and Duke pounces by rifling in from the edge of the six-yard box, via a nick from Souttar.
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12 mins: Socceroos have found their feet in the match. Metcalfe shows some nifty footwork to avoid a couple of challenges before aiming to slip a through ball between defenders but it is intercepted.
10 mins: Woud pings a clearance straight at Bos just outside the box. Thankfully for Woud, it was hit with such ferocity that no would have been able to control it.
8 mins: Australia enjoy a good spell of possession but it is in their own defensive third and a touch pedestrian. I guess you could say they are biding their time …
6 mins: Woud, in goal for New Zealand, does have an Ederson-esque left boot. He could compete with the Brazilian for distance reached by his clearances.
Bacchus takes down Garbutt near the halfway line. Socceroos need to pick this up.
Friendly, you say? Stamenic dives in on Luongo from behind. In other circumstances, he would be booked.
4 mins: Souttar whacks a cross out for a corner to New Zealand. The All Whites have started better.
The resulting set-piece is sent into the box and Boxall tries to score with an overhead kick but he does not make great contact. There is a bit of panic from the Socceroos but they manage to clear.
2 mins: It has started at the speed that all international friendlies should: slow.
Tom Ivers emails: “In Barcelona on holidays and pondering the merits of explaining to the Mrs I’m heading out into the night to perhaps find an Irish bar that might on the off chance be showing a Socceroos friendly.
“Chances are I’ll just keep an eye on your coverage as I plow through this copy of shadow of the wind and polish off the Jamon Iberica. In the interest of marital harmony and whatnot.
“Carn the roos.”
Watch it on YouTube on your phone with a caña in hand.
Kick off
Peep! Peep! Peep! Here we go!
DARREN ENGLAND IS THE FOURTH OFFICIAL! #Narrative
The players are on the pitch. There’s a decent amount of people inside the Gtech Community Stadium but with plenty of space behind both goals.
The good news, for those of us outside of Australia, is that the game is live on YouTube. At least it is supposed to be. Currently I am just looking at a slate claiming the coverage will start soon. If it does not, I will just guess what is happening.
But what company you will have Harry McDonald: “As someone who has been to every NZ game I possibly could over the past 50 years, I find myself in London for 4 weeks.
“However a week before this game was announced I booked, and paid for a 3 day trip to Belfast where I am now! Annoying.
“I am in Kelly’s Cellars with a Guinness so it’s not a total loss.”
Tyler Bindon is another fun one. His mother was a New Zealand goalkeeper and father an international volleyball player.
Harry McDonald emails the sort of information I should know but as I was called up last minute to do this, I do not: “The Kirwan in the NZ subs is the son of All Blacks legend John Kirwan.|
Peter Oh emails: “I detect a pugilistic thread in the lineups. Australia have put up their Duke, and New Zealand are all in with Boxall.
“Let’s hope it’s clean fight!”
Putting the match into context.
Starting lineups
Australia: Ryan, Miller, Souttar, Circati, Behich, Baccus, Luongo, Metcalfe, Boyle, Duke, Bos
Subs: Degenek, Burgess, Rowles, Silvera, Borrello, Goodwin, Mabil, Redmayne, Strain, O’Neill, Glover, Irvine, Yazbek, Toure
New Zealand: Woud, Boxall, Cacace, Pijnaker, Tuiloma, Garbett, McCowatt, Stamenic, Grieve, Just, Wood
Subs: Crocombe, Tzanev, Bindon, Champness, Kirwan, Mata, Smith, Waine, Wilkins
Preamble
The Soccer Ashes is upon us but hopefully they will not burn down the goalposts because that would need a very big urn.
The Socceroos could not have found many venues further from Oceania to host the match but maybe the players will come together afterwards for a few pints in a local nightclub. Graham Arnold’s side performed well against England on Friday night and will be aiming to get a confidence-boosting result tonight.
It is a relatively inexperienced All Whites squad in England – their four goalkeepers possess a meagre eight caps between them. English manager Darren Bazeley does, at least, have the reliable Chris Wood up top, who knows how to cause anyone problems.
Kick-off: 7:45pm BST/5:45am AEDT
