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Saskia Morrison-Thiagu

Attention All My Diet Coke Girlies: Macca’s Will Be Taking Your Fave Drink Off The Menu

Well fuck me sideways and call me Ronald McDonald, because Macca’s will permanently be taking Diet Coke off their Aussie menus. The drink of champions was first rumoured to be taken off the menu when a Queensland customer noticed that Diet Coke was unavailable at her local Macca’s. She then submitted an enquiry, and trigger warning you might find the answer unsettling. The reply, obtained by 7NEWS.com.au, confirmed that the beloved drink will be permanently taken off the menu from Jan 11. “Yes, this is true! Diet Coke will be permanently taken off the menu once we sell all of our current stock. You will still be able to order Coke No Sugar if you wish to,” a McDonald’s spokesperson responded. Coke No Sugar????!!! I’d rather drink glass. WON’T SOMEBODY PLS THINK OF KATE MOSS????
7NEWS confirmed the menu change with McDonald’s, who said the decision was due to the growing popularity of the other no sugar drink beverages. “In response to customer feedback and growing popularity for other low- to no-sugar beverages, McDonald’s will no longer offer Diet Coca-Cola across Australian restaurants from 11 January 2023. “McDonald’s continues to offer a range of beverage choices for consumers, including Coca-Cola No Sugar, Sprite Zero Sugar and Frozen Coke No Sugar.” I can’t explain it but there is a distinct taste difference between Diet Coke and Coke No Sugar. I personally, would rather opt for Diet Coke than No Sugar. Although to be fair, I’m actually more of a full fat coke girl — but don’t tell the Diet Coke girlies. I know I keep referring to Diet Coke girlies (gender inclusive by the way) like some kind of ominous presence, but I’m not making this up. There is indeed, a fraction of society, that I believe to be addicted to the taste of Diet Coke. I can count on one hand how many friends I know that are addicted to that sweet, sweet nectar — and one hand is a lot when you consider I don’t have many friends. Diet Coke has my girlies in a chokehold. It’s not just a drink, it’s a lifestyle. RIP Diet Coke.
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