If your significant other is joining you at your family home this Christmas, you're likely looking forward to quality family time, age-old festive traditions, and, well, trying out the best quiet sex positions.
Studies have found that sex can boost your mental health, with another study finding getting intimate to boost heart and cardiovascular health. But, question: how can you go about getting intimate with your partner when you have family members in the room next door? Enter: a sex expert's pick of sex positions that won't make loads of noise.
"The festive period is a time to relax and unwind with friends and family, celebrating each other and the spirit of Christmas," shares Mega Pleasure sex and relationships expert Charlotte Johnson. "This is a time of year to give to those you love, and the same goes for couples. Often the festive period is a naturally romantic time, poised with passion."
So, how do you keep the passion going when you're next door to your parents? It seems quiet sex positions are the answer. Google search for quiet moves normally spikes around this time of year, demonstrating that lots of people are thinking about it. But think of it this way - being strategic with which hot sex positions you try can actually be a fun and exciting way of spicing things up a little in the bedroom. "Quiet sex can sometimes be much more intimate and exciting for those involved, as it becomes a secret in itself and something only you and your partner can enjoy," Johnson goes on.
Wondering how to initiate sex when the family is around? A recent survey by Lovehoney found that 51% of us like physical touch to initiate things hotting up. How do you do it when everyone is around? A subtle eye gaze or secret hand-holding can be very sexy, and a simple kiss can hint to your partner that you're ready to head to bed without anyone else noticing a thing. 47% said non-verbal cues were their favourite way for their partner to initiate sex, so a subtle wink will work - and it is silent.
Whether it's blasting Christmas songs to drown out the noise or sex in the shower, you'll want to scroll the expert's go-to moves for guaranteed pleasure without waking the family. Don't miss our guides to the best quiet sex toys and best sex toys for couples, while you're here, and for when you're back in your own space, the best sex toys, best sex chairs, and best anal sex toys. You're welcome.
Best quiet sex positions to try this Christmas
1. Lotus position
How to: This sex position requires one partner to sit cross-legged on the floor and the other partner to sit on top, explains the expert.
This is one of the best quiet sex positions because? This position is all about the up and down movement of the hips and reduces any loud or sudden movements of the legs or arms, shares Johnson. "This can also allow more kissing and thrusting due to the lock-in movement, keeping noise low," she adds.
2. Sideways 69
How to: Simple, really - the 69 position requires you and your partner to arrange yourselves in a top-to-toe position, facing towards each other's bodies and performing oral sex at the same time.
This is one of the best quiet sex positions because? The 69 sex position is an oral sex position, and so is commonly known for being slightly quieter than others, shares Johnson. "Doing this position but laying sideways will reduce even further movement and can be the perfect position for near silent intercourse."
3. Missionary
How to: For missionary position, one partner lays on top of the other, face to face, and enters (stereotypically the vagina) from above.
This is one of the best quiet sex positions because? Missionary sex is one of the most common positions, but it's also the most simple, meaning it can be very easy to stay quiet, explains the expert. "A lot of the control is given to the partner on top, and the tempo can be slowed down as you wish," she goes on.
Bottom line: This sex position is an easy one to attempt and usually gets the job done in a pleasurable way, too.
4. Spooning
How to: It's slightly similar to missionary, however, this time, you and your partner are both laying down on your side and reversed.
This is one of the best quiet sex positions because? This particular position is quiet but also comfortable - win, win. "Spooning is a very sexual position as the cuddling technique allows for maximum intimacy for both involved," Johnson explains.
5. Slow doggy
How to: Think of the traditional doggy-style position but slowed down - a lot. Not sure how the original goes? "Doggy involves one partner bending over and the other appearing from behind," the sex expert explains.
This is one of the best quiet sex positions because? "Doggy style is a common position to hit the G-spot, as well as a great set up for keeping both partners sturdy and in full control of any movement," she goes on.
6. Sitting
How to? The sitting sex position is very similar to the lotus position but tends to be practiced on the end of the bed, she shares. One partner is sitting on the bed and the other is straddling on top.
This is one of the best quiet sex positions because? "Most of the movements involved are particularly low noise, but you still get to enjoy maximum pleasure," she concludes.
What is the average sex time for couples?
A frequently Googled question for which the research is still mixed.
One of the most comprehensive studies on the subject was carried out in 2005 and found that the average session lasts around five and a half minutes. Yet two years ago, a 2020 study concluded that, on average, it takes heterosexual women around thirteen and a half minutes to reach orgasm.
Worth pointing out the gap here, though - the average sex time may sit vastly under how long it takes a woman to reach orgasm as data shows women are far less likely to orgasm during sex than men (often coined "the orgasm gap"). One Durex study concluded that just 2% of men say they rarely orgasm during intercourse compared to 20% of women, while another study conducted by the Archives of Sexual Behavior team found that only 65% of heterosexual women admit they orgasm during sex compared to 95% of men.
While the above stats need to change, it's worth highlighting that the amount of time spent having sex certainly doesn't amount to more pleasure. It's all about quality over quantity, and making sure both parties can clearly communicate their wants, needs, and desires (and then enjoy them together). Sexual wellness and equality for the win!
