Look, I get it. James Bond is a beloved franchise with a storied history of over seventy years. Sure, the quality of the films themselves has varied since 1962's Dr. No, but the series stands apart from other intellectual properties on account of its prestige and, yes Britishness. Bond isn't Marvel. Bond isn't even Star Wars. Bond is a unique proposition that has managed to weather decades of political and cultural change. It's a timeless brand that has given us some of the best films, best songs and best movie posters of all time. So it's no surprise that Barbara Broccoli and EoN Productions' decision to sell creative control of the series to Amazon has been described by many as a death sentence for 007.
I'm a huge Bond fan; an aficionado of the spends-too-much-time-on-the-fan-forums variety. And on those forums, the mood is bleak. The general feeling is that after years of proper stewardship, the Bond brand is, for the first time, in unsafe hands. But I'm here to tell them, and you, that everything is going to be ok! Because I'm personally delighted that Amazon has taken over. What's that? You want to know five internet-friendly reasons why? Of course.
01. More product placement
While the Bond series has always been known for product placement, I've always found it a little too subtle. Sure, we had Daniel Craig name-checking Omega when describing his watch in Casino Royale, and sipping from a bottle of Heineken in Skyfall, and countless Aston Martins, BMWs and Lotuses (Loti?) throughout the franchise. But I want more. I want to see Bond receiving an Amazon Parcel with Prime delivery, and opening it to reveal his new Cocktail Shaker Set, 750 ML Stainless Steel Cocktail Mixing Set with Stand, Bartending Kit for Home, Bar, 12 Pieces Bar Tool Kit for Christmas, Birthday, Anniversary, Weeding (£20.69), before using it to mix an Amazon Vodka martini. It'll just feel more real, y'know?
02. Spin-offs
It's a well-known fact that the Star Wars franchise has vastly improved under Disney. Rather than diluting a brilliant film series by tacking on a bunch of unwarranted and inconsistent streaming spin-offs, Disney has greatly enhanced it by adhering to a 'more is more' philosophy. Amazon will no doubt do the same to Bond. Personally I can't wait for small-screen spin-offs like The Adventures of Young Q, The Moneypenny Diaries and the 00-Academy, as well as reality TV shows such as The Blofeld Games. Bring it on, I say. Franchises are all about 'content' after all.
03. A new Bond
Sure, I just said Bond is quintessentially British, but with Amazon at the helm, anything goes now! While Broccoli and co. might have spent years casting the right actor to play 007, Amazon's casting agents (aka The Algorithm) will most likely make the decision based on Instagram followers. Which means James Bond is probably going to be played by the most followed actor, Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson. I personally think Dwayne will be great in the role. He has Connery's charisma, Moore's charm, Brosnan's sophistication and Craig's physique (and then some!). He's an absolute no-brainer.
04. We already have our Blofeld
The name's Bezos. Jeff Bezos. And he'll probably be stroking a Cat Plush Cat Stuffed Animal, Stuffed Cats That Look Real, Realistic Huggable Kitten Plushie Toy (26cm).
