Are you a true Roy-alist? Take our ultimate Succession quiz!

Famous last words … Logan Roy (played by Brian Cox). Photograph: HBO

1. In the opening credits of every Succession episode we catch glimpses of the headlines run by Waystar Royco’s news arm, ATN. Which of these is NOT a genuine example?

   1. "Gender Fluid Illegals May Be Entering The Country ‘Twice’"

   2. "Big-Headed Babies ‘More Prone To Cancer’"

   3. "Why Are So Many Of Our Older Celebrities Dying?"

   4. "I Smiled At Her By The Photocopier – Now I'm Facing Chemical Castration"

2. Name the media startup that Kendall battles to acquire throughout the first season of Succession.

   1. Vaulter

   2. Longjump

   3. Hurdler

   4. Caber

3. What is the gleefully foul-mouthed title of Succession’s second episode?

   1. "The Cunt of Monte Cristo"

   2. "What the Fuck Just Happened?"

   3. "Shit Show at the Fuck Factory"

   4. "Fuck, Fuck, Fuckity Fuck"

4. Which of these is NOT a nickname given by Connor Roy to Lester McClintock, the infamously handsy former Waystar executive?

   1. Uncle Meathands

   2. Mr Fiddlesticks

   3. Lester McGrabbypants

   4. Uncle Mo

5. In the final episode of the first season, what causes Kendall to crash his car into a lake – an accident that leads to the death of his fellow passenger?

   1. He tries to sniff coke while driving.

   2. He realises he’s wet himself.

   3. He’s playing chicken with a tractor.

   4. He swerves to avoid a deer.

6. Why does the Roys’ summer home in the Hamptons stink to high heaven when the family visit in season 2?

   1. There’s the corpse of a dead vagrant under the porch.

   2. A disgruntled housekeeper has replaced the air freshener with cod liver oil.

   3. Connor has begun a new "natural cleanliness" regime.

   4. A contractor stuffed the chimney with dead raccoons.

7. 

   Which of these is NOT a catastrophic blunder committed by that squirming, sexually disturbed Machiavellian weasel, Roman Roy?

   1. He tries to sue Greenpeace

   2. He sends a dick pic to his own father

   3. He purchases the wrong Scottish football team as a gift for Logan

   4. He oversees the development of a rocket that explodes on the launch pad

8. What does the former Roy matriarch, Caroline, tell her daughter Siobhan that she should have done with her life instead of bearing children?

   1. Travelled the world

   2. Written a book

   3. Been happy

   4. Had dogs

9. What grunge classic does Kendall Roy blast through the meeting hall of the Waystar building as his sister Shiv is attempting to give a conciliatory speech to the shareholders?

   1. Touch Me I’m Sick by Mudhoney

   2. Rape Me by Nirvana

   3. Doll Parts by Hole

   4. Jack Pepsi by Tad

10. 

    Following that disruption, Shiv attempts to persuade her brothers to sign an open letter suggesting that Kendall is back on drugs. What does Connor say he needs in return?

    1. A fistful of dollars – 10 mil should cover it

    2. Some suck-suck on his dicky-dick

    3. An apology for the time Shiv peed in his wine decanter

    4. A compromising picture to keep as collateral

11. What is Logan’s dismissive nickname for the president of the US in the early seasons of Succession?

    1. The lapdog

    2. The raisin

    3. The mushroom

    4. Ol’ crazy-wig

12. While we’re on the subject of commanders-in-chief, name the slick neo-fascist candidate favoured by Roman Roy, and ultimately his father.

    1. Jeryd Mencken

    2. Hugo Baker

    3. Mark Ravenhead

    4. Ron DeSantis

13. And how does Roman express his feelings about his new friend’s extremist politics during their cosy mano-a-mano in the men’s room?

    1. "Fash is just flash, I guess."

    2. "I love the uniforms – just don’t try and make me wear one."

    3. "If you can get the trains to run on time, you’re my guy."

    4. "Like, fascists are kind of cool, but not really."

14. For his son Kendall’s 40th birthday, Logan Roy sends a card with the words Happy Birthday crossed out and what message written instead?

    1. "Cash out and fuck off"

    2. "I should’ve left you in the maternity ward"

    3. "Go jump back up your mother"

    4. "You’ll only ever be a disappointment"

15. Which Oscar-winning actor plays Waystar shareholder Josh Aaronson, whose invite to his island retreat forces Kendall and Logan to spend time together?

    1. Adrien Brody

    2. Christoph Waltz

    3. Forest Whitaker

    4. Alan Arkin

16. Which of these people DIDN’T agree to betray the Roy children at the end of season 3?

    1. Tom Wambsgans

    2. Frank Vernon

    3. Their mother, Caroline

    4. Greg Hirsch

17. 

    How does Greg react to Logan’s unexpected appearance on the floor of the ATN newsroom?

    1. "It’s like Jaws, if everyone in Jaws worked for Jaws."

    2. "Is it Bring Darth Vader to Work day?"

    3. "Remember that guy in Indiana Jones who kept ripping people’s hearts out?"

    4. "He just looked at me, and a little pee came out."

18. In Norway, Alexander Skarsgård’s tech billionaire Lukas Matsson admits to Shiv that he has been sending bricks of frozen blood to his ex-girlfriend. But which thematically appropriate TV series first made Skarsgård a star in the US?

    1. New Blood

    2. True Blood

    3. Blue Blood

    4. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

19. In exchange for pulling out of the presidential race, Connor Roy expresses a wish to be posted abroad as US ambassador – to which country?

    1. Wherever they make the best pisco sours

    2. Anywhere with nukes

    3. A tropical island with loose morals and no extradition

    4. The UK

20. What were the final words spoken by Logan Roy on screen in Succession?

    1. "Fuck off, I’m not feeling well."

    2. "Don’t you fucking speak to me."

    3. "Tell them all to get fucked."

    4. "A bit more fucking aggressive."

Solutions

1:B - Though ATN’s headlines are all made up, this one is actually a genuine article published by a British media outlet who shall remain nameless., 2:A - He ends up buying the company, only to shut it down and strip it for parts when his Dad gives the order., 3:C - Succession isn’t the first series to glorify the art of swearing - but is perhaps the most deliriously inventive., 4:C - He’s most widely known as Mo, an off-colour joke that Connor has to explain very quietly to Willa at the old man’s funeral. But Lester was a man of many names., 5:D - It’s unlikely that concern for the animal’s welfare was foremost in Kendall’s mind when he jerked the wheel., 6:D - Furious at being underpaid by one of the richest men in the country, the man Logan hired to repair his house took revenge in singularly stinky fashion., 7:A - That one was Cousin Greg - but Roman did end up getting a fascist elected president of the US, so his debit column is still a fair bit longer., 8:D - With her penchant for blithely brutal put-downs and utter disdain for the children she professes to love, Caroline is an even more upsetting character than her ex-husband., 9:B - It’s a blunt reference to the ongoing sexual abuse scandal engulfing Waystar’s cruise line., 10:B - It might be the single creepiest line in the entire series - and former Ferris Bueller star Alan Ruck delivers it with truly loathsome aplomb., 11:B - It’s apparently a reference to the president’s roots in California – but either way, he ends up a squashed fly on Logan’s boot., 12:A - Played by Justin Kirk, provocateur turned politician Mencken is the most legitimately terrifying character in the show - yes, including Logan., 13:D - By the final season, Rome’s fence-sitting days are behind him: he may have selfish reasons for it, but he’ll stop at nothing to get this neo-Nazi elected., 14:A - Kendall’s 40th birthday party ranks as perhaps the most depressing in TV history, from celebrity no-shows to that tragic treehouse. Logan’s card is just the final kicker., 15:A - Brody won a best actor Oscar for his role in 2002’s The Pianist – at 29, he was the youngest person ever to scoop the award., 16:B - Frank is the only one of Logan’s inner circle who appears to harbour any fondness for the old man’s offspring, particularly Kendall. That said, he’s probably just playing the odds., 17:A - He also describes Logan as "like if Santa Claus was a hitman"., 18:B - Skarsgård first steamed up the small screen as rapacious thousand-year-old vampire Eric Northman in True Blood, which ran for seven seasons from 2008., 19:B - Mercifully, Roman doesn’t think there is much likelihood of his candidate letting Con loose in a nuclear state., 20:D - On the tarmac at Teterboro Airport, Logan delivered his final directive to Tom Wambsgans: "Clean out the stalls. Strategic refocus. A bit more fucking aggressive." Sadly, Waystar’s stalls would remain unclean, and its strategy anything but focused.

Scores

1. 20 and above.

   "Information is like a bottle of fine wine. You store it, you hoard it, you save it for a special occasion and then you smash someone’s face with it." Congratulations on smashing our faces, you shining CEO.

2. 19 and above.

   "Information is like a bottle of fine wine. You store it, you hoard it, you save it for a special occasion and then you smash someone’s face with it." Congratulations on smashing our faces, you shining CEO.

3. 18 and above.

   "Information is like a bottle of fine wine. You store it, you hoard it, you save it for a special occasion and then you smash someone’s face with it." Congratulations on smashing our faces, you shining CEO.

4. 17 and above.

   "Information is like a bottle of fine wine. You store it, you hoard it, you save it for a special occasion and then you smash someone’s face with it." Congratulations on smashing our faces, you shining CEO.

5. 16 and above.

   "Information is like a bottle of fine wine. You store it, you hoard it, you save it for a special occasion and then you smash someone’s face with it." Congratulations on smashing our faces, you shining CEO.

6. 15 and above.

   "Information is like a bottle of fine wine. You store it, you hoard it, you save it for a special occasion and then you smash someone’s face with it." Congratulations on smashing our faces, you shining CEO.

7. 14 and above.

   Sure, OK, whatever. Like Roman Roy, you’re dumb, but you’re smart.

8. 13 and above.

   Sure, OK, whatever. Like Roman Roy, you’re dumb, but you’re smart.

9. 12 and above.

   Sure, OK, whatever. Like Roman Roy, you’re dumb, but you’re smart.

10. 11 and above.

    Sure, OK, whatever. Like Roman Roy, you’re dumb, but you’re smart.

11. 10 and above.

    Truly pathetic. As Lukas Matsson would say, you’re the backwash at the bottom of the gene pool.

12. 9 and above.

    Truly pathetic. As Lukas Matsson would say, you’re the backwash at the bottom of the gene pool.

13. 8 and above.

    Truly pathetic. As Lukas Matsson would say, you’re the backwash at the bottom of the gene pool.

14. 7 and above.

    Truly pathetic. As Lukas Matsson would say, you’re the backwash at the bottom of the gene pool.

15. 6 and above.

    Truly pathetic. As Lukas Matsson would say, you’re the backwash at the bottom of the gene pool.

16. 5 and above.

    Truly pathetic. As Lukas Matsson would say, you’re the backwash at the bottom of the gene pool.

17. 4 and above.

    Truly pathetic. As Lukas Matsson would say, you’re the backwash at the bottom of the gene pool.

18. 3 and above.

    Truly pathetic. As Lukas Matsson would say, you’re the backwash at the bottom of the gene pool.

19. 2 and above.

    Truly pathetic. As Lukas Matsson would say, you’re the backwash at the bottom of the gene pool.

20. 1 and above.

    Truly pathetic. As Lukas Matsson would say, you’re the backwash at the bottom of the gene pool.

21. 0 and above.

    Truly pathetic. As Lukas Matsson would say, you’re the backwash at the bottom of the gene pool.