Whoa, Nellie. Calm down. As far as clickbait headlines go, I admit the one above is perhaps on the juicy worm side of the spectrum. But hear me out.
I’m not about to wade too deeply into the murky depths of that never-ending and tedious social media and barroom bore debate over whether or not Rangers are still the same club. Except, to say this.
For me, the answer to that question has always boiled down to that famous quote by the late, great Bobby Robson. Which if you’ll indulge the football romantic in me, I’ll reproduce here.
“What is a club in any case?” Robson said.
“Not the buildings or the directors or the people who are paid to represent it. It’s not the television contracts, get-out clauses, marketing departments or executive boxes.
“It’s the noise, the passion, the feeling of belonging, the pride in your city. It’s a small boy clambering up stadium steps for the very first time, gripping his father’s hand, gawping at that hallowed stretch of turf beneath him and, without being able to do a thing about it, falling in love.”
I mean, come on. No matter your take on the minutiae of holding companies or whatever else, you can’t deny that Rangers – the team, the stadium, those jerseys – still inspires such feelings in countless thousands of people, as well as, curiously, the same sort of hatred as it ever did from those who would nonetheless argue they have only existed since 2012.
Anyway, I digress. The real reason I wanted to bring Robson’s quote up in relation to Rangers is that they are currently undermining that argument all by themselves with their actions. Or inaction, in this case.
On the one hand, the reluctance of new CEO Patrick Stewart and his board to sack Philippe Clement could be spun as laudable. Courageous, even, in the face of intense pressure from the fans and swimming against a tide of animosity towards the Belgian from the rank and file.
Everyone can see that the current Ibrox cycle of sacking managers who can’t bridge the financial gap to Celtic by some tactical wizardry alone is a losing strategy, and one that will do little to break this torrid sequence of domestic failure.
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One can even have sympathy for Clement, a decent man and a manager of some considerable pedigree, after being dealt an awful hand along with the assurances of patience that undoubtedly came with the perplexing extension of his contract in the summer. His achievements in the Europa League this season also deserve a lot of credit.
But context has to be applied equally. Some results are just so seismically bad that they cannot be survived, and in the context of Rangers’ history, the defeat to Queen's Park is arguably the nadir. It is the first time, after all, that they have ever lost to a lower league side at home in a cup competition.
Whatever financial disadvantages Clement labours under as compared to Celtic are dwarfed by comparison to the budget difference between his own and that of the Spiders. Or Kilmarnock, Dundee United, St Mirren, Motherwell and Dundee for that matter, the teams who he has dropped points to as Celtic have disappeared over the horizon in the Premiership.
While the Queen’s Park defeat in isolation could even be rightfully held up as a sackable offence for any Rangers manager, coming as it has with his team 13 points behind in the league table and with Celtic already having defeated Rangers in the League Cup Final (albeit on penalties) then the inescapable and unfortunate conclusion is that Clement is a dead man walking as Rangers manager.
Or, at least, he should be.
Before Sunday's debacle, a social media post by Rangers caught the eye. It was of their players arriving at Ibrox for the match in their club suits and ties. It was captioned: ‘Suited and booted for the Scottish Cup’, a nod to the old traditions and standards of the club.
That goes for those upstairs, too. For if there are no consequences for a Rangers manager when they are bowled out of the Scottish Cup to Queen's Park, the one domestic trophy they could still salvage from this sorry season, then when would there be?
Certainly not for failing to win the league. The club may make all the right noises about never accepting being second to Celtic - or to use that hoary old cliché, that in Scotland, second is last – but they are simultaneously fostering such a culture if they allow Clement to stumble on after this latest calamity.
If Rangers really are still the same club they once were, the one of Bill Struth, John Greig, Walter Smith et al, then they have to conduct themselves accordingly. And not just by rolling up at Ibrox in their formal wear.
