Playing the Port Fairy folk festival on 6 March 2010 is something I can’t forget. It was the day after we buried Ruby [Hunter, Roach’s life and music partner of 35 years].
We were driving back from Berri in the South Australian Riverland and people from the festival got in touch with me, letting me know they understood if I didn’t want to perform.
Well, I thought about it and thought about it, and for some reason – I don’t know if Ruby was talking to me – I felt like I had to do the show, to honour her memory.
So I said to the crowd in the tent: “If ever there was ever a time that I needed you, I need you more today than I ever have.”
Somebody yelled out in the crowd, “You got us, brother.”
Shane Howard [from folk rock group Goanna] and a lot of other musicians were sitting to the side of stage, too. Every now and again I looked towards them. That was a big comfort – they gave me a lot of strength.
My son Amos played bass that day. I said to Amos, “You don’t have to get up if you don’t want to, Son.” He said, “No, I want to get up with you Dad, I have to do it for Mum.”
We got through it; I don’t know how. It wasn’t easy, it was a pretty emotional show. I think Ruby had a hand in there somewhere. I don’t think about it that much, but when I do I’m amazed at how it happened. It was very surreal – it felt like I wasn’t even there, even though I was talking to the audience and playing as I usually do. But I felt safe, I think, being at home on country [Port Fairy is on Gunditjmara land in south-western Victoria, where Roach’s mother was born, and where he now resides].
Afterwards there was a feeling of release. The festival MC Derek Guille said to me, “Thanks for doing this Archie.” I said, “Don’t thank me Derek, I had to do it, for Ruby.” He just broke down on my shoulder. He said: “We all need to grieve Ruby’s loss, Archie.”
I understood what she meant to a lot of people that day. They were listening to me, but they were grieving Ruby too.
That day I realised the importance of the people that I sing to, and tell yarns to on stage. They’re more than just people who come and listen to me sing songs. I needed them, and they gave me something back, that’s for sure.
Archie Roach is touring Australia now. His 44-track anthology, My Songs: 1989 – 2021, is out now. The documentary, Wash My Soul in the River’s Flow, is showing in Australian cinemas
