He can't fly, he can’t see through walls and he doesn’t play for either Liverpool or Manchester City.
And yet a small stampede of high calibre clubs are continuing to elbow each other out of the way in pursuit of Everton's Anthony Gordon. Just 21 and still with some filling out to do, the Liverpool-born winger most definitely has promise and represents one of the few shafts of light amid the wreckage of two nightmare seasons at Goodison Park.
Is he, however, a £50million player? Now? While he may well be in a couple of years’ time. Some of the Premier League's shrewdest judges are convinced that his x-factor is worth investing in now.
Among fans, meanwhile, there is fascination at the frisson of excitement being generated by a boy few people had heard of outside of Merseyside 12 months ago. Last season he was a clinical finisher in the youth teams. He has created a deep impression from his favoured position on the left, moving infield to pull off his trademark finish, a curling effort into the top corner.
His raw speed and acceleration have caught the eye of Antonio Conte at Spurs, Eddie Howe at Newcastle and Thomas Tuchel at Chelsea. Sweden international Dejan Kulusevski was the same age as Gordon when he arrived at Tottenham in January. Six months into working with Conte his value has quadrupled. Conte clearly sees similar potential in Gordon.
Mason Mount was the same age as Gordon when Thomas Tuchel arrived at Stamford Bridge. Mount has been a regular in Tuchel’s strongest teams ever since. Everton boss Frank Lampard is already a monster fan of Gordon, pitching the rising star him up against Liverpool’s Trent Alexander Arnold, no less, in last season’s Anfield derby in a bid to beat the England man for pace in search of balls in behind the Reds defence.
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Fast, fearless and a fighter, Gordon has been among the top percentile in sprint drills within the Everton squad. He stood up to be counted during the Toffees’ relegation fight last season and, this season, his average carry distance has been 16.5 metres - one of the highest in the Premier League
Set against that, Gordon scored just four times and provided two assists last season. Not the numbers of a £50million man. Bear in mind, too, that football doesn’t always get it right. Both Manchester clubs valued Harry Maguire in excess of £75million. At no time has the former Hull man ever looked worth that much.
Jack Grealish may well eventually become a £100million player but he wasn’t last season - despite playing a part in City's title win and run to the Champions League semi-finals - and he isn’t now. The less said about £72million Nicolas Pepe at Arsenal the better. And while £71million Kai Havertz scored the decisive goal in the Champions League final for Chelsea, few observers are having his club-mate Kepa Arrizabalaga at £72million.
Gordon, however, does look a bit special. It might be that with better players around him and an elite head coach, £50million could represent a bargain.
