Every new prime minister — assuming they ever enjoy a period of genuine popularity — must at some point face the moment when the initial shine begins to fade. After a relatively stumble-free year, Anthony Albanese has, with the smooth efficiency typical of his administration, crammed a remarkable number of such moments into a single weekend. As April became May, Albanese and his team managed the impressive feat of failing to put a single foot right, achieving a combination of communication and policy that was so tone-deaf, so discordant and so oddly timed, it would make The Shaggs cover their ears.
April 27: That tone was set with Albanese lightheartedly telling workers at a newly opened biscuit factory about his own childhood living near a Wagon Wheel factory, benefitting from the generosity of workers, and weirdly kind of encouraging them not to do the same thing: “As kids we would go down to the workforce — now, [I’m] not suggesting that the workers here should do this for local kids — but we would just stand outside, and we’d always get broken Wagon Wheels and biscuits,” he said.
It was a kind of synecdoche of his rhetoric for the coming days: with Australia facing a housing crisis and a cost-of-living crisis, with inequality currently in its “roid-rage” phase, and Labor under increasing pressure to raise the JobSeeker rate above poverty levels, Albanese decided it was time to splash out on some luxuries.
April 28: Albanese confirms he is to attend the million-dollar wedding of radio personality Kyle Sandilands. Sandilands — whose history includes suggesting Magda Szubanski lose weight via a stint in a “concentration camp” and the jocular interrogation of an underage rape victim — had told his listeners that the flowers alone at his nuptials would cost around $150,000. Convicted drug smuggler Simon Main and former Kings Cross nightclub owner John Ibrahim were among the bridal party, helpfully flanking Sandilands in pictures that could be added to any coverage of Albanese’s attendance.
“Well, I’m not in charge of the invite list,” Albanese says.
“I’ll say this, a bloke who at one stage was homeless, living on the streets of Sydney, and has grown into someone who is a significant public figure, is a part of what is an Australian success story. So I was invited to the wedding, I said I’d go, and I keep my commitments, including to Kyle Sandilands.”
By happy coincidence, Sandilands’ breakfast show is one of the highest-rated in the country.
April 29: Albanese announces $240 million in funding for a stadium in Hobart (that the majority of Tasmanians don’t want) at a press conference held at the back of a sewage plant. He is heckled by protesters throughout: “We want affordable housing, not a stadium. Affordable housing!” Albanese attempts to push through — “I think you’ve had your say” — and return to a question about whether he intends to DJ at Sandilands’ wedding later that day.
Following the press conference, Albanese returns to Sydney to spend six hours at Sandilands’ wedding.
May 1: It is reported that the Albanese government plans to increase the JobSeeker rate by $50 a day, but only for people aged over 55. The Australian Unemployed Workers Union, for one, is baffled:
Instead of providing support to everyone who needs it, the government appears set on arbitrarily deciding that a certain cohort on welfare deserves (slightly) less starvation than others.
Nobody asked for this policy. And it appears that no advocacy or welfare group was consulted before its release.
Earlier that day, Sandilands and co-host Jackie O Henderson tell their listeners about what a “great time” Albanese and his partner had at Sandilands’ wedding. They also divulge more details about the wedding reception, including an oyster bar, caviar, expensive champagne and a three-course dinner, which included aged fillet, crispy barramundi, mushroom tortellini and a five-tier cake.
Sandilands recounts that after the event Albanese sent Sandilands photos of himself with the Sandilands’ eight-month-old son Otto and Sandilands’ mother Pam:
“I wrote back: Mate thanks for those pictures. Mum loved you guys. Keeps raving on and on about how wonderful you are. Hope you both had a great night,” Sandilands says.
Albanese apparently responded: “We had the greatest night ever.”
