EAR AND LOATHING
Thursday marked the 54th celebration of St Totteringham’s Day, that date on the Premier League calendar when it becomes mathematically impossible for Spurs to overtake bitter rivals Arsenal in the table. It was the third time in history this moveable feast was celebrated on 3 April, although given the ridiculous length of time it took VAR officials to re-referee various incidents during Chelsea v Tottenham at Stamford Bridge, Arsenal fans could have been forgiven for thinking they’d have to wait until the early hours of the morning to celebrate what is likely to be their only triumph of note this season.
Marking the occasion in fine style, Ange Postecoglou further incurred the already considerable wrath of mutinous Spurs fans by cupping an ear in their direction after Pape Sarr, whose introduction in place of Lucas Bergvall they had loudly questioned through the medium of song, scored. Sarr’s effort was subsequently disallowed following a VAR intervention that took longer than a rail replacement bus journey from London to Edinburgh. Despite having made a provocative gesture of defiance that is not even remotely open to any kind of other interpretation, Ange used his post-match press conference to seemingly gaslight reporters by trying to convince them that, actually, he had not been having a go at his team’s travelling fans, mate, but trying to encourage them to make more noise. A word of advice, Ange: if you really must use excuses from The Big Dominic Cummings Playbook of Implausible Explanations, at least tell the press pack you were trying to test your hearing.
Rather than row back on his nonsensical excuse this morning, Ange reiterated that he had been trying to “celebrate and get the fans to make some noise” before embarking on a diatribe against VAR that could scarcely have been more impassioned if it had been uttered by a Spurs fan railing against Tottenham chief suit Daniel Levy’s parsimony in the transfer market. “I made a mistake, I celebrated a goal,” he said. “Since VAR came in, I’ve made a conscious effort to not really celebrate goals any more because you have to wait for everything to get checked off. As human beings, we are just so accepting of everything. We accepted mobile phones into our lives and now we are trying to reel them back because of the damage they cause. It’s too late – the horse has bolted – and it is the same with VAR in football, but we just let it roll on.” The Spurs manager went on to say that such is his disillusionment with the curtain-twitchers in Stockley Park that he probably won’t watch much football when he retires and will instead find “a new hobby”.
Having potentially done irreparable harm to his brittle relationship with Tottenham fans, one suspects that if Spurs add to their season tally of 16 Premier League defeats against Southampton on Sunday and then fail to beat Eintracht Frankfurt in Bigger Vase, he may find himself with plenty of time for stamp collecting, building model airplanes or taking dancing lessons sooner than he’d hoped.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
These will be my final months as a Manchester City player. Nothing about this is easy to write, but as football players, we all know this day eventually comes. That day is here. Football led me to all of you – and to this city. Chasing my dream, not knowing this period would change my life. This City. This club. These people … gave me EVERYTHING. I had no choice but to give EVERYTHING back! And guess what – we won everything. Whether we like it or not, it’s time to say goodbye” – Kevin De Bruyne is heading for the Etihad exit door after a glittering decade in east Manchester in which he won EVERYTHING, just in case you weren’t already sure.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
Re: US tailgating. May I be one of however many to point out that if you were to steam your wurst (yesterday’s Football Daily letters) you would in fact be consuming a Brühwurst (such as a Frankfurter or Wiener). A BMW pickup would likely be engineered to prepare Weißwurst, a concoction beloved by supporters of Bayern Münich. A Bratwurst is only for frying or grilling, and of course gained further international notoriety in last year’s brat summer” – Ian Graham.
Re: yesterday’s last line (full email edition. Can I be the first of 1,057 readers to point out that the likelihood of getting Sad Ken more than once in a sweepstake is low due to him being shot after the 3.30 at Chepstow? He finished last despite being tipped by Tight Mouth Larry” – Jacob Shell (and no others).
Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day winner is … Ian Graham. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we have them, can be viewed here.
SET-PIECE CORNER
If you’re fan of cheeky free kicks from the Swedish third tier then you’re going to love this one. It involves an insouciant swipe of the left boot from Jönköpings Södra’s Linus Lyck, who catches the Lunds BK goalkeeper and defensive wall napping with a nonchalant curler to put his side 1-0 up in their season opener. It was reminiscent of a cracking goal scored against Chelsea by Liverpool’s Fábio Aurélio in 2009’s Big Cup. Given we have been caught asleep on the job embarrassingly often ourselves, Football Daily’s sympathy is fully with the keeper here.
RECOMMENDED SHOPPING
Big Website’s bookshop has a host of great tomes waiting to be added to your basket. There’s David Squires’s latest brilliant collection of cartoons, Chaos in the Box, and Panini Legends by Greg Lansdowne. Get shopping!
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