THE RING OF FIRE
It turns out 11 July is not ripe for football news stories that we can satirise in four piping hot paragraphs to top off the latest edition of Football Daily. Wimbledon and the Tour de France are on for goodness’ sake! And we have nothing funny to say about Ashley Young. He’s just growing old gracefully and hopefully Everton won’t ruin that. Oh. So we’re trying something a bit different this Tuesday. The reason is that we stumbled across some photographs which we couldn’t stop looking at. And while our editor might be wary of where this is going, we want to share them with you, because they’re truly fascinating.
You see, on the outskirts of Mexico City locals regularly travel up an 11km trail that takes them 2.7km above the nearby metropolis. Once they have given their legs a good workout – or got a lift up if they’re not masochists – they ramble through a thick forest and emerge in the crater of the Teoca volcano. But they’re not there to take selfies and look at the wildlife. No. They’re going to play football. Here’s the pitch:
And there we were thinking Stoke was the most inhospitable away fixture in world football. Thankfully, the Teoca volcano is about as inactive as this email’s long forgotten weird uncle, so seismic rumbles don’t dislodge the ball on set-pieces or cause the hardy footballers to stagger around like extras in a low-budget 1970s disaster movie. In fact, despite the pitch looking patchier than the one at Stamford Bridge in 2003, the players score some decent goals.
“It’s fantastic,” wheezed the 47-year-old goalkeeper Daniel Mancilla Pena. “It’s very impressive to come all the way up here to the pitch and to have a very nice setting to play football.” Though at that altitude we’re guessing playing in goal is more fun than running around in the baking heat and thin air for 90 minutes. There is even a team called Liverpool and, yes, they play in red. If they had any fans we’d like to think they too would sing the tune to Ring of Fire, which is the name given to the part of Mexico where they play football, due to it being the world’s most seismically and volcanically active. Yes, Football Daily does geographical facts these days.
The area used to be an old ceremonial ground and was transformed into a football pitch in the early-1950s. “[It] must be about 70 years old,” blabbed their league’s chief suit, Joel Becerril. “They used to carry me up here when I was a child.” We’re not sure if there are any lingering curses that would require the Barry Fry method to lift them but, judging by the pictures, the teams just look happy to have a pitch to play on. Unlike in the UK, we’re guessing property developers won’t be building flats and a supermarket on it anytime soon.
So there we have it – it’s not just Tour de France riders who celebrate on top of volcanoes. A tip of the hat from Football Daily to the amateurs near Mexico City who light up the local leagues 3km up in the air.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“It was a little hard to take just because of how much it was oversized and how many people started talking about it. For me, I wasn’t overweight, but obviously the manager has seen it in a very different way. I just took it and did my best to get as fit as possible”– Kalvin Phillips there, setting the record straight on the weighty issue of whether or not he was carrying too much timber when he joined the club last summer.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
Regarding Mark Randall (yesterday’s Quote of the Day), the precedent for appearing in said Big Cup is obviously winning the requisite league. After 134 years of existence, with no major trophies to Larne’s name before that maiden title, the joyous and surreal nature of that occasion still hasn’t sunk in fully even though the first preliminary round is imminent. So Mark’s love of the people of Larne is reciprocated and then some. On a (somewhat) related note, as Arsenal are back in Big Cup, does the winner of their inevitable first knockout tie with PSG finally sort out the Round of … conundrum? Loser takes all, so to speak?” – Bryce Brennan.
According to yesterday’s missive, Ange Postecoglou added that ‘it’s about who wants to get on this train so we can get to our destination’. Unless I am mistaken, the only person who gets on the train and influences getting to the destination is the driver. Everyone else is a passenger. And there are these things called rails, that help a bit with the steering. Possibly not the best choice of metaphor” – Dan Levy (no, not that one. Nor that one either).
I think I’m offended by you citing playing against Sheffield United as the benchmark for Harry Kane’s misery if he stays with Spurs (yesterday’s Football Daily). It could also be a low point of John Egan’s career too, who knows? It seems we’re in for another season of the Blades being treated like the poor relations of the Premier League. Look at our transfer record this summer … oh” – Trevor Townson.
Cholo schmolo (re: Kieran Trippier’s pre-season training, yesterday’s Football Daily letters). What these youngsters need is a dose of Jock Wallace’s hill” – Jonathan Foulkes.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Bryce Brennan.
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