Bard Billot on Baron Luxon and his philosophical lodestar
Consultation
Baron Luxon steps into the bright lights of the media conference.
Two reporters and an intern from the Johnsonville Telegraph wait in rapt anticipation.
The Baron clears his throat while a large crowd of shadowy figures file in and assemble behind him.
“Today is a big day,” he announces. “Today is when I put my big idea out there, the game changer, the philosophical lodestar of the next National Government.”
“Relaunch of boot camps?” whispers one press hack to another. “Consultants” proclaims the Baron.
“There are too many consultants entrenched in Government. “Too much money is going to highly paid, unaccountable pen pushers focused on their own ambitions, rather than the common good,” continues the Baron, hitting his stride.
“We will trim, reduce, slash, hack, dismember, vaporise, boil down, eject and cut to the bone!
The press run out eagerly to file their reports.
“Phew,” says the Baron.
“Did I get that right?” he asks, turning to consult his thirty seven media handlers, eighteen spin doctors, nine meme generators, two senior TikTok contractors, eight polling staff, twelve focus group impresarios, one disembodied astral projection of El Hosk, three storytellers, one buffalo horned shaman of modern conservatism, two personal economic wizards, eight big data analysts and a squad of Dirty Politics operatives clad in sheer black PVC bodysuits.
Victor Billot has previously felt moved to compose Odes for such luminaries as Bishop Brian, Clarke Gayford, Mike Hosking, and Garrick Tremain.
