It does feel as if a large portion of December’s TV scheduling has been carried out with the phrase “camp as Christmas” in mind. We’ve had Hannah Waddingham doing festive show tunes, Rylan Clark is about to meet Cher, and here we are, facing An Audience With Kylie, an extravaganza so fabulously extravagant that the only time the audience screams louder than they do for Minogue herself is for Alison Hammond, which should be registered as some sort of official camp-o-meter.
The event was filmed at the Royal Albert Hall in London earlier this month, and as always with the Audience With ... format, you never quite know what you’re going to get. Adele’s 2021 turn might have been one of the most talked-about yet, churning out a series of did-you-see-that moments – from her reunion with her old teacher to Emma Thompson’s energetic response to simply being there. But Adele is a chatterbox, who gives the illusion, at least, of being very candid. Minogue has always been more of an enigma, professional and dazzling, but she’s not known for giving away her secrets.
Still, with so many bangers under her belt, she doesn’t really need to spill. This is a greatest hits performance stuffed with songs from every era, though the indie Kylie age is mostly excluded, for which she gives an excellent reason. It is a spectacular production, all sequins, sparkles and costume changes. She is joined by a gospel choir, fantastic dancers and a lot of disco lights. At one point, she performs in front of a Fritz Lang-Metropolis-ish light show; at another, she drapes herself over a grand piano as she sings a very special slow song to the crowd.
This is not, she points out, Kylie’s first Audience With. That was in 2001, a mere 22 years ago. Even so, the standing ovation she gets after her opening number seems, briefly, to overwhelm her. “Stop it!” she squeals, happily. “I need to bottle this moment!” Owing to the format of the show, some moments might be slightly more bottle-worthy than others. The musical performances are interspersed with questions from the audience, or at least, from the VIPs in the audience. She finishes a song, moves to a platform in the middle, then the celebrities who have been seated upfront get to ask Kylie Minogue – most of them refer to her, reverentially, as Kylie Minogue, in full – a question, and Kylie Minogue will answer.
It’s a testament to the broad appeal of Minogue that the guest list is so varied. Aside from the main attraction of Hammond, this is British light entertainment royalty, from Alan Carr to Carol Vorderman to Rylan; the comedian Tom Allen jokes that he is the only gay man in the room. There are actors such as Derry Girls’ Nicola Coughlan, Andrew Scott and Ruth Wilson, as well as Stephen Mangan, Sir Lenny Henry and Olly Alexander of Years & Years. Amid the spirited jumble of famous faces, it’s amusing to try to spot who clearly knows the entire back catalogue and who is there for the (presumably) free bar.
The questions are mostly variations on “why are you so amazing, Kylie Minogue?”, and there are moments that make me want to take out a subscription to the Socialist Worker; Minogue thanking celebrity guests for making the effort of having their hair done and getting a stylist is one of them. But there are also good stories and decent anecdotes, and the lovely sight of a Bridgerton star sincerely uttering the phrase, “We thank Nick Cave with all our hearts,” and also being slightly awkward with an air-kiss. “Two! So continental!” says Minogue, having expected only one. Celebrities: they’re just like us.
Largely, it’s a laugh, a night in you can pretend is a night out, particularly if you give in to the urge to sofa-dance, or perhaps you might even feel the need to get to your feet. I have seen Minogue command an arena before, and she is an extraordinary pop star. She has been doing this for a long time – as Clara Amfo (or Padamfo, as she renames herself for the night) points out, she has had a No 1 album in five consecutive decades – but this has been a fantastic year even by her standards. “It has been an incredible 2023 for me,” she says, riding high on a new generation discovering her afresh. This is an apt celebration, a fizzy fluff-fest that occasionally sees the audience turning raucous, though not quite Thompson raucous. It is impossible to resist these hits. Padam!
• An Audience With Kylie is on ITV1 and ITVX in the UK and will air on Channel Seven in Australia in 2024
