Britain’s Got Talent star Amanda Holden says she went through a 'very dark time' after the end of her marriage to ex-husband Les Dennis.
Amanda Holden, 52, wed TV funnyman Les Dennis, 69, in 1995 when she was 23 and he was 40 after meeting on the set of the Sound of Music, reports the Daily Mirror.
However, in 2000, it was revealed the couple had split after Amanda an affair with Men Behaving Badly star Neil Morrissey, 60, while they filmed the BBC movie, Happy Birthday Shakespeare.
Amanda and Les broke up due to the affair and despite having briefly reconciled, ended up splitting for good two years later in 2002.
Amanda told the Mail: “I brought it on myself, I appreciate that, but nothing will ever be as bad again.
“It was a very dark time. It got to the point where I felt I could hardly breathe.
“Les proved to be my saviour. Ironically. So the person I’d hurt the most in the world was the one who was there for me.”
Many have speculated that the age gap may have led to Amanda looking for love elsewhere.
In an interview with The Times, she was asked whether she had been looking for a father figure in Les Dennis.
She answered: “I don’t know because I’ve never done therapy, but there is a sort of safety in a relationship like that.”
In a seperate interview with Good Housekeeping, Amanda admitted she didn’t believe women have affairs for no reason.
She went on: "Neil rightly or wrongly got loads of stick. I feel like it was my fault - I was the one who was married.
"I want to change the general perception of him, as he was very caring and very loving and very worried about me because I lost so much weight. He used to cook for me and look after me and babysit the dogs."
Four years after the affair, Neil apologised for how the situation was dealt with.
Speaking to Piers Morgan, he said: ‘I don’t think we could have avoided starting it but we could have dealt with it differently.
“Amanda was having problems with her relationship anyway, as far as I was concerned. The ring was on the finger but the marriage was not really there.
“That was my understanding at the time. We had a lovely time when we had that brief fling.”
When asked why he has never spoken about it before, he shared: "I think enough was said about it.
“This was a very short fling. I didn't have representation at the time, in terms of PR and this was the first time I'd really come under the cosh."
Amanda and Les have both found love again after the marriage ended.
The BGT star and singer married record producer husband Chris in 2010 – with who she shares daughters Lexi, 17, and Hollie, 11 – and Les with wife Claire Richardson.
The couple have two children together, Eleanor, 13, and Thomas, 10. He is also father to son, Philip, from his first marriage to Lynne Webster.
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