Film: All Is Well
Cast: Abhishek Bachchan, Asin, Rishi Kapoor, Supriya Pathak, Zeeshan Ayyub
Director: Umesh Shukla
Rating: 1/5
For any movie reviewer worth his salt, director Umesh Shukla's All Is Well is the last word in occupational hazard: You sit through a two-hour-plus film waiting for one spark of creativity, or even half-a-fun moment. By the time you're walking out of the hall, you don't know whom to curse more: the filmmakers or your editor who put you through this. Yes, nothing is well with All Is Well!
Inder Bhalla (Abhishek Bachchan) is a struggling singer in Pattaya, ready to do whatever it takes to make it big in life: If it means making funny facial expressions to make a Hindi film song look intense, so be it. A caricature of a music producer (interestingly, the film is produced by T Series) wants to buy and master Inder’s songs for some other singer, but he is not yet willing to give up. Nimmi (Asin) is another clueless Indian in Thailand who has a fetish for Rhonda Byrne’s bestseller The Secret. She is such a big 'fan' that she can't put it aside even in a car full of five goons. Wait! Wasn’t she kidnapped? Who cares!
Mr and Mrs Bhalla (Rishi Kapoor and Supriya Pathak), Inder's parents, live in Kasol and are very sad with their life. The two, however, look more miserable than their characters. Guess they actually read the script before shooting! An utterly stupid and intolerable bad guy, Kartar Singh Cheema (Zeeshan Ayyub) is making their life hell for money, but somehow everyone is holding on as they wait for Inder to arrive in India. Eventually, he does and the film becomes even more intolerable.
All Is Well is Abhishek Bachchan's solo hero film after a long time.
Everything about this film is an affront to the intelligence of any normal film buff. In the middle of a chase, Mr Bhalla has to stop every five minutes. Why? Because he suffers from polyuria. His wife matches him in absurdity: She suffers from a 'mental illness' that comes and goes according to the 'demands' of the scene. And what's the 'mental illness'? She suffers from Alzheimer's. Not feeling repulsive yet? Consider this dialogue from Mr Bhalla: “Hum bhalle hain, hum muh se nahi dil se khaate hain.”
Nimmi, who has decided to entertain herself with the antics of the Bhallas, has an equally carefree family. Nobody worries even if she is out of her house just hours before her marriage. It’s a big Sikh family where everybody wears the same kind of glasses. Did you just say stereotyping? Again that’s nothing. If Abhishek Bachchan can pass off as a college boy by wearing a checkered shirt, then these people must be for real.
Cheema, who slaps his subordinates for more than 100 times in 123 minutes, is a loud mouth whose dialect and tone keeps changing. But, even he seems sober in front of the Alzheimer-afflicted Pathak who says: “Inder abhi tak school se nahi aaya,” with extraordinary dramatic pauses. There are so many discrepancies in this film that you don’t even care when Abhishek’s character touches someone’s feet and that person turns to his wife and says, “Changa munda hai.” By then we have already seen the worse. Have I yet told you about the maternal aunt who lifts dumb-bells half of her size? So much in the name of comedy! Needless to say, the ‘balle balle’ background score is a constant feature in every scene with a Sikh guy. 
Sonakshi Sinha has a special appearance in All Is Well.
What is irritating is that All Is Well takes the audience for a royal ride, reminding us repeatedly that our intelligence was never considered while the script was getting ready. Consider this conversation:
Mr Bhalla: Aakhir chaar log aate hain meri bakery pe.
Inder: Haan, chaar log hi aate hain.
And then he says, “Bajwa, Sharma, Gupta aur Gulati.”
Why Abhishek Bachchan, why?
Sonakshi Sinha has a cameo in the film: She is apparently a dancer at a high-cost highway ‘dhaba’ because they charge for ‘khaane ke saath naach gaana.’ But, she waves off Bachchan’s Rs 4,000 bill because he is ready to dance with her on Baby Doll’s 2015th version Nachan Farrate. But, that’s nothing. No?
Watch: All Is Well trailer
Wait then. Remember Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak song ‘Ae mere hamsafar’? Abhishek Bachchan & Co. have ruined it completely here.
Actors compete with each other in bad acting. All Is Well is a rudderless film, to say the least. It’s excruciatingly painful to watch this film. I still can’t believe that Oh My God was helmed by the same director.
(Interact with Rohit Vats at Twitter/ @nawabjha)
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