Ticket-holders to Alex Horne’s gig in Edinburgh on Monday evening be warned – there may be a very long interval. The comedian, and frontman of the Horne Section, did not know when he scheduled the tour that his football team would be playing a first-round FA Cup match on ITV.
With Chesham United kicking off against League One Lincoln half an hour before his own show begins, he is pondering how to keep up with the score. “Elton John apparently watched Watford’s FA Cup final on an iPad on his piano during a gig in Copenhagen,” he says. “But it’s mainly about the occasion, so it’s gutting I’m not there.”
As a club director Horne has, however, been helping to prepare the tiny ground for its closeup. The past week has been a busy one: TV gantries had to be built from scratch and additional toilets installed. Horne’s contribution was to shoot an intro for the broadcasters, “which was weird, because you’re trying to be a comedian, and it’s very easy to take the piss out of a non-league football club. But you also want to show that it’s genuine and, you know, I really love the place”.
The team’s profile has rocketed since Taskmaster, Horne’s global TV hit, became their shirt sponsor. Attendances have climbed from a few hundred two years ago to an average of 1,000, although the comic refuses to take credit. “Last season we won the first seven matches in the league and we’ve had that momentum ever since, because people suddenly realised we’re quite good.”
They are expecting 4,000 for Monday’s game, although Horne is less worried about crowd numbers than the fact they’ll be turned away from the bar. “The FA Cup’s weird because you can’t drink in the stands,” he says – most non-league supporters are used to being allowed to drink as they watch a game. He once found himself on the wrong end of the Football Association’s rules, turned away from the directors’ box for not wearing a tie.
Do Chesham have a rowdy end? “There’s about 50 rowdy-ish people who stand behind the opposition goal.” Horne enjoys the good-natured banter with the opposition goalkeeper “who can hear every word you’re saying”, and the fact the two sets of fans have to shuffle past each other at half-time. He compares the atmosphere to that at cricket, another sport he loves.
“The main thing is, you don’t have to sit down. If you’re going to watch a Premier League team, you can’t move, that’s it, you have to watch the football. At Chesham you see someone over there, go and chat to them for a bit, it’s really sociable.”
It’s a good time to be a Chesham supporter. Promoted last season, they are 10th in the National League South. They lost their top scorer, Ricardo German, to Hemel Hempstead in May but have a new centre-forward in Nathan Minhas, and the engine room is provided by the long-serving midfielder Lewis Rolfe and captain, Steve Brown. They also have two managers – helpful, because one was required to spend the past half-term week at Disneyland Paris with his family.
This will be the 10th time Chesham have competed in the FA Cup proper – their best result is a third-round defeat by Cambridge United in 1980, although eight years ago they won the Giant-Killing Award for their first-round defeat of Bristol Rovers. Last year they lost 2-0 to Maidstone in the first round, and this season’s qualifying run has earned them a reputation for late drama, including a stoppage-time header in the previous round against Yeovil. “Which is great,” says Horne, “because it’s helped the psychology of the players, and people have stopped leaving early.”
Chesham Women, meanwhile, play their own FA Cup first-round match against Fulham on Sunday. One of the players goes to the same school as Horne’s children and he is keen to note that the women’s side play fourth-tier football, which is higher than the men. They don’t yet get the same support, but the club are hoping to install a 4G pitch so the two teams can play their matches on the same day and share the crowd.
For Horne, who started going to games 20 years ago because the ground was five minutes from his house, it’s all about community. “After the last FA Cup match the pubs and bars in the high street were genuinely full. And we’re starting to see that more, with more away fans coming to Chesham, exploring the town. So that’s got to have a knock-on effect.” It’s a contrast to the trend of celebrity investment: Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney at Wrexham, Tom Brady at Birmingham, Paul Carrick Brunson at Sutton, Mindy Kaling at Swansea.
“I haven’t chucked millions of pounds of Chesham because I can’t, and my wife would not let me,” says Horne. “Wrexham is really interesting because it seems to be an only good news story. But I don’t like that ‘money plus football equals success’. It seems slightly unfair on the other teams.”
Chesham’s increased attendances and promotion bonus have helped the club break even. “Before, the chairman and the owner had to dip in their own pockets a lot. Now we’re doing repairs that we’ve needed to do for years.” The £50,000 broadcast fee for the Lincoln game will mostly be spent on a new toilet block. “No one’s making money in non-league football.”
Are people seeking an alternative to the billionaire-driven, sportswashing world of the top tier? “I guess the Premier League is putting people off more and more,” says Horne. “And the Ballon d’Or fiasco this week, Real Madrid not turning up, that’s all quite embarrassing I think.” But he can’t give up his passion for Liverpool, and he’s taking his son to Anfield next week.
“I think you can have both,” he says. “There is nothing like seeing the Kop before a game. But equally there’s nothing like being in the stands at Chesham, where you know that every single person lives there. When Liverpool score, I sort of nod and go: ‘That’s good.’ And when Chesham score, I actually get excited and punch the air.”
Monday’s Edinburgh audiences may get to see that in person. “I actually think Lincoln won’t be miles ahead. They’ll be ahead in fitness, but not in skills.” But it’s more important, he says, to enjoy the ride for what it is.
“I speak with the players and they’ve said this is the biggest game of their lives. And you hear people say that about the FA Cup final, or an England match, but you don’t necessarily believe it, because it’ll happen again for those guys. Whereas, for our lot, this is possibly a one-off.”
