Many of us have fears that we find difficult to ‘get over.’ Phobias don’t go away on their own: they require a lot of dedication to work through. But some phobias are worse than others. Especially in social settings.
Redditor u/Ok-Towel4975 asked the AITA community for advice about how they handled a delicate situation with their daughter, whose boyfriend has deipnophobia. This is a social anxiety disorder that makes someone scared of eating in front of other people. Read on for the full story, as well as the mixed reactions that the internet had to share. Bored Panda got in touch with the author for further comment.
Deipnophobia is the fear of eating in front of others
Image credits: Garakta-Studio (not the actual image)
A parent turned to the internet for advice after having a tough time dealing with their daughter’s boyfriend, who has a major phobia
Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual image)
Image credits: Ok-Towel4975
Food is a huge part of interacting with people. Someone who’s scared of eating in front of others can feel socially isolated
The internet had a wide range of reactions after reading through the author’s story. Overall, folks thought that everyone in the story was a bit at fault, and could have handled the situation much better.
There is no alternative to clear and concise communication. The daughter’s boyfriend could have mentioned that he has a serious phobia after meeting the family, instead of making things awkward for everyone.
The author could have jokingly mentioned that they don’t like being stared at while they eat. And the daughter could also have given the family a heads-up about her partner’s condition before. In the hope of not touching on a sensitive topic, everyone made it harder on themselves than if they had simply been open and honest for a few moments.
The key to dealing with social awkwardness is to own up to one’s feelings of embarrassment, instead of shying away from them. People tend to respect others more if they seem down-to-earth and aren’t afraid to own up when they make social blunders or other mistakes.
Deipnophobia, a social anxiety disorder, can make it really difficult to function every single day. To put it bluntly, if you’re scared to eat in front of others, it’s going to massively affect your social life.
People are social animals after all, and food is a huge part of our lives, no matter our culture or background. Food unites us. Food is what gets everyone together. Food gets us talking. If you can’t participate in this activity, that’s one massive part of human existence that you can’t relate to.
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It’s not a sign of weakness if you reach out to a specialist for help handling your fears
The solution? Getting in touch with a therapist who specializes in phobias. They can suggest a variety of approaches, from counseling and cognitive behavioral therapy to dialectical behavior therapy and psychotherapy.
One approach is exposure therapy, where true to the name, you’re slowly exposed to what you’re scared of, in the hopes of building up your level of tolerance for discomfort.
Phobias are often developed after traumatic or negative experiences. However, they can also be the result of our genetics, as well as the environment in which you were raised: kids copy the behavior of adults.
So, if your parents or other authority figures in your life were afraid of something, they might pass that phobia on to you. For example, if your parents are terrified of dogs, it’s likely that you’ll grow up fearing them, too. The same goes for other anxieties, such as eating in front of others.
Often, it’s people who struggle with eating disorders or are recovering from them, who have trouble eating around others. They might feel anxious that the people around them will pressure them to eat or will judge their relationship with food.
Other people vulnerable to deipnophobia have larger bodies, and they feel like society judges them when they eat in public. Still others might have had traumatic experiences at mealtimes, which is why they avoid eating during them.
How would you have handled the entire situation, dear Pandas? Do you have any phobias yourselves? Share your thoughts in the comments.
Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual image)
The author added a bit more context after the story went viral
The story got many mixed reactions. Some readers thought the parent wasn’t in the wrong
Some people shared their own food phobias and disorders
Meanwhile, some folks thought that the author was to blame for how the situation got handled
