The mark of a true friend is that they’ll have your back no matter what, through all the highs and the lows. Sure, they’ll give you honest criticism from time to time, but they’ll care about your boundaries, respect you, and support you just as much as you do them. It’s a devastating thing to realize that someone you considered to be your BFF might not have your best interests at heart.
Internet user u/Cat_Own went viral online after venting about her supposed ‘friend’ to the AITAH online community. The author explained how the bride-to-be uninvited her from her wedding and later had the audacity to ask her to pitch in with some cash because she’d gone over her budget. Scroll down for the full story, as well as a very important update.
Bored Panda got in touch with the author of the viral story, u/Cat_Own, and she was kind enough to shed some light on what happened with her ‘friend’ after the incident and how the bride treated other people in her social circle. Read on for our full interview with the author, including her perspective on what real friendship entails.
True pals care about you beyond just the favors you can do for them. Unfortunately, not everyone you consider a true friend is one
Image credits: Nini FromParis/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
A woman opened up about a hurtful situation where a bride-to-be uninvited her from her wedding, only to ask her to pay for the event
Image credits: Gantas Vaičiulėnas/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Cat_Own
“Sometimes, we ignore red flags because of shared history or loyalty, but those patterns often reveal the truth”
Image credits: Colin + Meg/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda asked u/Cat_Own whether she had any interaction with her former friend ‘Sarah’ since cutting ties with her. “Since I went no-contact we didn’t talk—until a few months ago. Out of the blue, I received an email from her. At first, I thought it might be an apology or an attempt to reconcile, but it wasn’t,” the author shared.
“She wrote to tell me that she’d seen my Reddit post and accused me of ‘ruining her reputation.’ She claimed that mutual friends had started distancing themselves from her after the story went viral, and she blamed me for the fallout. Honestly, I wasn’t surprised. Not once did she take accountability for her actions or acknowledge the hurt she caused,” u/Cat_Own said.
“Instead, she doubled down, making herself the victim in the situation. If you’re considering going no-contact with someone, my advice is to be prepared for unexpected twists like this. Cutting ties is rarely clean or simple, especially when emotions run high. But don’t let guilt or manipulation pull you back into an unhealthy dynamic. Stand firm, protect your peace, and remind yourself why you made the decision in the first place,” she advised.
After receiving the email from ‘Sarah’ a few months ago, u/Cat_Own later learned through mutual friends that she wasn’t the only person uninvited from the wedding and later asked for money. “Apparently, several people had similar stories, and one of them even forwarded me screenshots of Sarah messaging them with guilt-laden pleas for financial help. It was like a pattern—one I hadn’t fully realized until now. That’s when it clicked for me: this wasn’t just about one friendship; it was about a behavior that Sarah had normalized,” she said.
“If there’s anything I’ve learned from this, it’s the importance of paying attention to patterns in relationships. Sometimes, we ignore red flags because of shared history or loyalty, but those patterns often reveal the truth. I’ve let go of the anger and hurt, and I’m focusing on surrounding myself with people who uplift me, not drain me. To anyone reading this: you deserve relationships where respect and kindness are mutual, not transactional.”
The author was also kind enough to share what she personally values the most in friendships. “For me, the most valuable aspect of friendship is trust. A great friend is someone who respects your boundaries, celebrates your wins without jealousy, and supports you without expecting something in return,” she said.
“They’re someone who makes you feel safe and understood, even during your most vulnerable moments. I’ve come to realize that true friends don’t just stand by you when it’s convenient—they’re there when it’s messy and hard. The signs of a great friend are simple: they show up, they listen, and they genuinely care about your well-being.”
The average wedding can set you back tens of thousands of dollars. It’s important to know what your budget is before you make any decisions
Image credits: Photos by Lanty/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
As per The Knot, the cost of the average wedding in the United States in 2023 was a whopping $35k. That’s a massive increase from 2022 when the average marrying couple spent roughly $30k to get married and celebrate their love.
Hometown weddings set you back around $33.3k in 2023. However, destination weddings were far pricier. Average domestic destination weddings cost $43.3k while international destination weddings came in slightly cheaper at around $42k.
However, these costs only cover the ceremony and reception. Engagement rings, which cost an average of $5.5k, are not included in these numbers.
A core reason why costs have skyrocketed is because the wedding industry’s goods and services are simply pricier. Inflation has affected most parts of life. The Knot’s survey found that 85% of respondents were affected or anticipated to be affected by the economy during wedding planning.
The typical couple hired 14 vendors for their wedding, and more people are hiring wedding planners who can help them be more efficient with their budget.
It’s good to take stock of your friendships from time to time and reevaluate who you want to spend more time with
Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Friendships and meaningful relationships aren’t just ‘nice’ and make you feel good. There are scientific, factual reasons why they’re useful, too. It really does matter whom you spend time with. A multiple-decades-long study from Harvard found that positive relationships make you more resilient to stress, so you live a longer, happier, and healthier life.
So, you should aim to intentionally improve your so-called ‘social fitness’ by spending more time with the people you care about and who make you feel good. That also means spending less time with folks who drain your energy, make you feel bad, and take more than they give.
Many people tend to think that friendships are a one-and-done kind of deal where you become friends and don’t have to cultivate anything. Not so! You have to consistently put the effort into maintaining and strengthening those bonds.
It also means taking a harder look at the people who surround you. Do your friends celebrate your wins and have your back during tough times? Do they help you when you need a hand or do they only ever ask for favors from you? Do they practice what they preach?
Do they follow through with their promises or are they generally unreliable? Are they willing to make sacrifices for you just like you are for them? Do they respect your privacy, boundaries, and secrets, or do they constantly spread negativity, gossip about you, and disrespect you? These are all tough questions to answer. But once you do that, you quickly realize who the people you should be spending more time with are.
Whether or not someone follows through with their promises can tell you a lot about their character and priorities
Actions speak louder than words. It’s easy to promise your friends, relatives, and colleagues something. It’s another thing entirely to follow through with your promise.
If you invite someone to your wedding and then uninvite them, it’s probably going to hurt that relationship, unless there are extenuating factors. Meanwhile, asking someone to pay for an event they were barred from is like pouring salt on the wound. It’s cruel. It’s entitled. And it’s shortsighted.
Broadly speaking, organizing a wedding and sticking to a budget is tough. There’s bound to be constant stress and anxiety about turning your dream of the Big Day into reality while also giving your guests a wonderful event they can have fun at.
The costs can quickly add up. The decor, food, drinks, band, venue, clothes, etc. all cost a pretty penny. Even small details that you want to change can cost you more than you initially intended to pay. On the plus side, you can always scale back. Being less picky about things typically means you’ll shell out less cash.
Your wedding guests are far more than just a way for you to get gifts and cash
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A good rule of thumb is to have more or less a clear plan for what your budget is, where you’re having the wedding, how many guests you can reasonably invite, and how much you’re willing to spend on giving them a feast. You should sort this out before you send out any invites unless you want to risk having to uninvite people the moment your budget starts wildly changing. It’s just not good taste to uninvite someone you’re on good terms with if they haven’t done anything wrong.
It’s in even poorer taste to ask someone to pitch in a bunch of money because the wedding budget that you reduced wasn’t enough. If you’re going to go over the budget anyway, why not invite the people who were supposed to have been a part of the celebration in the first place? Turning your would-be guests into piggy banks is not something a good friend does. But guests who get invited tend to bring cash gifts alongside physical ones (though, of course, this depends on the local culture and customs).
Have you ever been uninvited from a wedding, dear Pandas? And have you ever had to break off a long-term friendship? If so, what happened and how did you handle the situation? On the flip side, has anyone ever gone no-contact with you for any reason? What, for you, is the biggest sign of a truly great friend? We’d love to hear your take. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
Later, the author shared some more context about the bizarre situation
Many people were shocked when they read the story. They thought it was right not to give in to the bride’s demands
After the bride saw the woman’s story online, they had a confrontation. Here’s what happened
Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Cat_Own
Overwhelmingly, people supported the author’s decision to cut her ‘friend’ out of her life
