As a child, Stephanie Jones would sneak into her sister’s bedroom to try on her make-up and dresses.
The 34-year-old, from Wallasey, loved watching fairytale movies and always visioned herself being a “princess one day”. Regardless if it was Cinderella or Snow White, the former cave instructor knew “settling down with a prince” would be in her future.
However, what she didn’t expect would be the obstacles she had to go through to make that dream a reality. Stephanie, who was born in Birkenhead, claims as early as the age of four, she would go to bed wishing she would wake up as a girl in the morning and not have her skin feel like a “crisp wrapper”.
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Unbeknownst to her, what Stephanie was feeling was gender dysphoria - the feeling of discomfort that she would later extensively research as a teenager.
She told the ECHO: “I knew when I looked at my sisters, I saw myself more like them, but not just in my head, in my dreams, I was a girl who had a husband and just generally a nice life. When I realised I was born male and what that meant, there was no one I could talk to about it. I had never heard the word transgender at that age.”
As Stephanie went through puberty, her feelings got more intense and her “built in-desire” to explore her gender identity got stronger. To help deal with her emotions, Stephanie kept a diary. Entries documented how she wished she could go shopping for “girls' clothes” and how she wished to be herself “without being judged”.
Seven years later and the diary would be instrumental in Stephanie’s life being turned upside down. After a “friend” stole the diary and showed it to everyone on her street, Stephanie moved away in a bid for a fresh start but ended up becoming homeless. During her time on the streets, Stephanie felt she had to put on a “macho” persona to survive. Not only was Stephanie pretending to be someone she wasn’t she was also pretending to be happy when really she was struggling with depression.
She said: “There was one guy that said something to me while I was living on the street, which completely changed my outlook, what he said was very deep, he said 'I may not agree with your choices but I would still fight to the death for your right to be who you are'. I realised although he wasn’t too accepting of trans people, he just taught me the importance of individual freedom and liberty. Coming out and starting to live my life as me was the hardest part but I have always known who I was and I accept myself for who I am fully."
It was after Stephanie had been taken to Birkenhead’s YCMA hostel, she began allowing herself to feel the feelings she was ignoring for so long before. Stephanie began transitioning when she was 22 years old.
She said: “After I transitioned I got back to normal life after seven days because I had been mentally preparing this for all my life. No amount of pain was gonna stop me from getting up and getting better. I was going on walks and getting that fresh air as my new self. The thing was that I enjoyed the pain, which is weird to say, but it's because when I went through that surgery, I knew the transition was going to be for the rest of my life and that the pain was only temporary. I fought for this every single day from when I woke up until I went to sleep. Not necessarily getting into arguments or scraping but physically getting up and taking on the day is the biggest fight when you’re at that stage.”
Now, with lived experience and hindsight, Stephanie has advice for those who are in a similar position as she was growing up. She wants to warn others of the "sacrifices and struggles" trans people make when they transition - including "the good, the bad and the ugly".
She said: “Everyone is entitled to their opinion and sometimes they aren’t going to agree with transitioning. Outside of the UK, a lot of places want to put you in prison simply because you are trans and unfortunately that is the truth. The world is not a nice place for trans people - it’s not all rainbows and unicorns and problems will still follow you. Even after your transition, you’re transitioning and coming out for the rest of your life. It’s a life-long commitment.”
Stephanie has been living her “fairytale” lifestyle with her partner Jay for seven and a half years now. The couple, who recently got engaged, met mountain biking. Stephanie added: “He makes me laugh and I make him laugh, but the thing is, we have just genuinely fallen into each other's lives and our roles, regardless of me being trans. I am a trans woman and proud of it too."
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