Whether you’re quick to shout about the big stuff on social media, or prefer to go about things more privately, there are a handful of milestone moments in life that are likely to leave their mark on you for ever. Like saying goodbye to your Care Bear wallpaper when you leave home, finally buying your own property or deciding to shake up your life irrevocably and have children. But do any of us really know how to best prepare? Probably not. That’s why we asked these experts for their number one tips to make adulting that bit easier.
Moving out of the family home
Ronnie Campbell, a chartered surveyor and managing director at London Building Surveyors, says that when young people leave home they are often so desperate for their independence that they forget to reach out and connect with those in their new community. “Although you’re now standing on your own two feet, I’d really advise knocking on your neighbours’ doors and introducing yourself because they’re the ones you may need to call on if there’s an emergency, or when you just need a hand with something,” he says. “I’d also suggest asking around for recommended local tradespeople so you have a list ready, for those times when you need help in a hurry.”
Moving in with your partner
“Moving in with a partner is the perfect opportunity to reflect on all the things you’ve accumulated over the years and consider whether they still serve a purpose,” says Sophia Lorimer, sustainable stylist and founder of Fine-Tuned Wardrobe. “Before packing anything, take a moment and ask yourself: Does this bring me joy? Is it something I need? Is it functional and useful? If the answer is no, it’s time to let it go – whether donating, selling or recycling. When it comes to clothes, did you know there are said to be 1.6bn unworn items hiding in UK wardrobes? Why pack for things to sit unworn or unused in your new home? A focused declutter won’t just make the moving process smoother, it’ll set the tone for a shared space that feels lighter, more organised, and ready for this new chapter.”
Getting married
Lorraine Collins, a therapist registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, says it’s easy to get swept up in the whirlwind of wedding planning, but that it’s important to think about your marriage beyond that one day. “Each writing a letter to the other is a heartfelt way to encapsulate your feelings and intentions as you embark on this journey together,” she suggests. “In your letter, share your hopes for the future, your dreams as a couple and what you love most about them. Don’t shy away from expressing your vulnerabilities and the excitement you feel about building a new life together. Seal each letter in an envelope and agree on a date to open the letters – perhaps your first anniversary – as a way to reflect on your journey, celebrate your growth and reaffirm your commitment to each other.”
Buying a property
“Even if you’ve saved a decent deposit and pulled all of your documents together, checking your credit score early on in the process of buying a property can make all the difference when it comes to getting the best deal on a mortgage – or even getting one at all,’ says Stuart Holland, director of external affairs at Equifax UK. “Every lender looks at your credit report and uses it to help decide whether you’re a reliable candidate to pay back a loan and, if you are, how much they’re willing to give you. But would you like to know what your credit report (and score) looks like before they do? Take 20 minutes to answer some questions with Equifax UK then you’ll get a report based on your spending history plus a credit score out of 1,000. If your score comes back low, we have some simple tips that can help you improve it to make you more creditworthy, making the whole property buying process a lot less stressful. You can check your credit score and report for free for the first 30 days, after which it will be £14.95 a month. You can cancel at any time.”
Having kids
Rob Kemp, dad and author of The Expectant Dad’s Survival Guide, says that there are endless top tips when becoming a parent, but first and foremost remember that all kids are different and they will all hit different milestones at different ages – and there’s a good chance they won’t hit all of the ones in whatever book you’re reading. “Specifically, though, first-time parents find it a shock to come out of hospital with a baby, often barely 24 hours after going in without one,” he says. “Working out in advance how to secure your baby carrier or age-0 car seat into your car or taxi is an often-overlooked essential piece of planning. Without it, you’re heading for your landmark first argument as parents.”
Deciding on divorce
Within all the chaos, think of the others your divorce will be affecting, says divorce coach Fidel Beauhill, author of Divorce: a Modern Man’s Guide. “The most pivotal advice I received during my divorce, and the thing I always share with my clients who have children, is to always focus on the kids, if you have them,” he says. “They are the common ground between you and your ex. No matter the issues or feelings you have towards each other, making the children the focal point helps you remember what’s most important. Keep them at the centre, not caught in the middle, and continuously ask yourselves – what is truly best for them? This approach was incredibly useful and reminded my ex and I that, despite everything, our children were our top priority.”
Taking retirement
“Once you’ve retired, people think you have endless ‘free’ time on your hands that must be filled with odd jobs and childcare, which is why there has never been a more crucial time for you to practise boundary setting and the art of saying no,” says Sally Baker, therapist and author of The Getting of Resilience from the Inside Out. “Saying no to things you don’t really want to do can be hard, so practise by saying five small nos a day, mentally cheering yourself whenever you hear the word come out of your mouth. It can be anything like ‘no’ to a cup of tea or to dessert, or saying ‘no’ when someone offers you a basket in a shop. It might seem silly and insignificant, but the more you get comfortable using that word, the easier it will be to say it when you really want to. Also, make a list of all the things that you’ve waited years to have time to do, try or learn – and refer back to that whenever you feel like you really should say yes.”
Want to know more about how your credit rating stacks up? Find out by heading to the Equifax website
