Rosie Jones, comedian
If you have a shot of whisky, and then you have a shot of pickle juice, it tastes exactly like a cheeseburger. Honestly, it does, try it. That, and … be whoever you want to be. Having a disability is not a disadvantage; it’s a different perspective. We all have our strengths and our weaknesses, and sometimes a weakness can become our biggest strength.
Marsha de Cordova, MP
Follow your dreams and pursue your passions, even if you’re afraid. Don’t let your disability – or anyone’s opinion – hold you back. Find yourself a good mentor and have a plan.
Emma Barnett, broadcaster
Learn a set routine of coping and take the energy when you have it to always ensure you have what you need to hand. Advocate for yourself, or find someone who can, to push doctors for diagnosis and then as much care as possible.
Jameela Jamil, actor
You are smarter, more emotionally adept and stronger for what you have endured. You have empathy and perspective, and therefore you have substance and a more interesting outlook. Just block out the nonsense, avoid magazines that avoid people like you and your experience. Avoid anyone who makes you feel lesser online. Fill your brain with what will nourish you rather than starve you of the self-respect you deserve. We are superior to those who do not have to endure the same things we do. Never forget this. You’re great and I’m extremely proud of you.
Jenny Sealey OBE, theatre director
Find out about, and get, proper access. Hold your nerve. Don’t be scared to get it wrong. Be curious always.
Fearne Cotton, broadcaster and author
My advice might sound a little cheesy, but bear with me. I went to a Coldplay concert recently and these words appeared on a big lit-up screen: “If you want to be loved, be love.” I stopped and stared. Isn’t that what we all want? To be loved and seen? It’s about trying to remember that we won’t feel better if other people approve of us, or even love us – we have to feel that inside. That’s where you can find peace. It doesn’t mean you have to stand there shouting “I love myself!”, but it does mean if you can tap into that well of love that lives within you, then you in turn will be loved, and for all the right reasons. I wish I had known that growing up.
Sinéad Burke, disability consultant
You are a work in progress; your opinions, beliefs, thoughts, ambitions and the language you use to describe yourself and the world around you will evolve and change. We need to create space to not be continuously tied to what we once wanted, and to be open to an evolved perception of who we are, and what we want to become.
Natasha Devon MBE, broadcaster
Advocate for yourself and trust your instincts.
Hannah Jane Parkinson, journalist
I’ve noted that there’s a movement of people being “proud” of conditions. That is wonderful, but I would also say that it’s fine to be … well, pissed off. It’s OK to be low-key furious some of the time. But there will be times when you feel much better – whether it’s a mental or physical condition – and things will be good. And during the bad times, there will be friends and family who are rooting for you. So, keep on keeping on, even when it’s a total pain in the arse.
Sarah Gordy MBE, actor
Life is about finding something you are interested in and enjoying it. It can be your job or something you do in your own time. Believe in yourself, take care of yourself and care for others. Smile a lot. Share happiness.
Kelly Knox, model
No matter what society or an individual may say, remember how unique, beautiful, valid and worthy you are to receive all the good this world has to offer. Don’t let anyone strip you of your beauty, whatever your goals, dreams and ambitions are – you can achieve them. Being disabled is a gift! The way we do things on a daily basis makes us brilliant problem-solvers: adaptable, naturally creative and courageous. You’ve got to be pretty special to be in our club.
Nadia Whittome, MP
I think there’s a lot of shame and guilt that can come with having health conditions. If you’ve been let down by services or other institutions, know that that isn’t your fault. How you feel or your inability to do certain things is also not your fault. You are dealing with a society that is not set up for your needs. You deserve to live a full and happy life, and the support to get there.
Ruth Madeley, actor
You have no idea of the power you bring to the table. What you have to offer is unique and it’s needed more than you know.
Alice Wong, activist and writer
Try not to feel the need to keep up or be as good as your non-disabled peers. Focus on doing what you love and knowing who you are and what kind of person you want to be in the world. Life can be messy and shitty and it’s totally OK to be full of rage and pain. Don’t do something because it’s what others expect – please yourself first and take your time. You don’t have to follow the typical path. You can find freedom when you let go of what you think success, perfection or happiness is supposed to look like. Asking for help and needing help doesn’t mean you are a failure. You have power, whether you realise it or not.
Anne Begg DBE, former MP
Never doubt yourself. Making yourself heard as both a woman and someone with a disability will not be easy. Discrimination is sadly all too apparent. But everyone in society has a duty to both educate and help campaign for equality for all.
Tanni Grey-Thompson DBE, independent peer and former Paralympian
Be proud of who you are. There will be people who want to change you, people who have a view of what your life will be like. You have more choice in what you do than you realise.
Jillian Mercado, actor and model
You are not alone. There’s going to be ups and downs and things in between that will hurt you and make you believe that there is no one going through the same things as you are. But I am here to tell you that we are here, that you are loved, and that we will stand behind you in any way possible. Being a woman who is disabled is an extra layer of being a woman. It definitely won’t be easy, but I can assure you that you are resilient and you are so strong. You just have to know that you are, and I can tell you for a fact that it will be all be OK.
Cherylee Houston MBE, actor
Do not take on board what society thinks of you. As I’ve got older, I know that there’s nothing wrong with being disabled. I now see it as a gift. I love being disabled and I believe it’s given me a much richer life than one I would have had without it. The hardest thing about it is other people’s opinions. But the more vocal you are, the more they get over it.
Josie George, writer and artist
I want you to know that you can find a way to be happy and thrive in this body you’re in. You don’t have to try to be like anyone else; you can just be you. It will take time to figure out, but learning who you really are and how you want to express yourself can be really fun. Your story, your goals and your dreams might not play out how you think they will – and that’s part of the adventure! – but just keep being your own best friend and know that your body is not your enemy. Be yourself all the way to your edges and good things will happen.
Sophie Morgan, broadcaster
Your disability can be your greatest opportunity to learn about the world, and, although it’s scary and tough at times, try to focus on what you can do instead of what you can’t. The world around you will try to tell you that your life isn’t worth as much as others – don’t believe them. Determine your own worth and live by your own beliefs. Ask for help when you need it.
Ione Gamble, journalist
Do not fight your body, no matter how tempting it may be. Do not psychologically beat yourself up because you don’t look the same, or can’t do the same things as your peers. Find a rhythm that works for you in this world and try as hard as you can to be proud of it!
Lara Parker, journalist
Please, please don’t waste any of your time thinking that you are wrong for being exactly the way you are. You are working in the only way you are able, and it is more than enough.
Katie Piper OBE, writer, activist, TV presenter and model
Be seen. I like that quote: “I am not what I’ve done or been through; I am what I’ve conquered and overcome.” The fact is, pain builds resilience, patience and empathy in all of us. Worry is a total waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. All it does is steal your joy and keep you very busy doing nothing.
Stefanie Reid MBE, former Paralympian and presenter
You will always stand out with a disability. People may stare, people may think you are different to them, and people may be uncomfortable with you. And the best thing I’ve found is to own it! There is power in “otherness”. I have experience and a perspective that no one else has and there is value in that. But only if I see it, and only if I believe it.
Nikki Fox, broadcaster
Do not ever limit yourself. The world isn’t perfect by any stretch. A lot of things need to improve for disability, from the built environment to attitudes. But don’t think too much about that shit. When I grew up, I was naive. I thought I could do anything. And actually, that helped me. Fake it until you make it. If I wanted a job, I didn’t worry about how I’d do it; I just applied. At the same time, as I’ve got older, I’ve learned we have limits. Don’t feel the pressure to be this unbelievable go-getter disabled person. That you have to try extra hard just because you’re disabled. You don’t have to. And it’s not worth it.
Jane Campbell DBE, independent peer and disability rights campaigner
Never give up the fight for inclusion! Nothing will ever change about us, without us!
• Who Wants Normal? by Frances Ryan is published on 17 April (Penguin, £18.99). To support the Guardian and Observer, order your copy at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply.
