I am convinced that every time a TikToker orders a cake from a professional baker and asks them to recreate a simple design, an evil witch puts a curse on the sweet morsel which guarantees it will look like shit. A sure-fire cake fail, if you will.
Case in point the cake that Liberty Carlson (@libbycarlsonn
) ordered, received and shared unto the world so we could vomit at its grotesque appearance.
I don’t say this lightly but that cake has got to be the fugliest thing I’ve seen in a while.
You can’t tell me this isn’t shit from a butt with sprinkles on top.
There’s just nothing about it that resembles the original design.
The four-tiers? Non-existent. The smooth, tempered chocolate delicately wrapped around the sides of the cake? Tough luck, babe. The perfectly scattered chocolate shavings? Go fuck yourself. The little ruffled chocolate thing on top? You have a better chance of seeing pigs fly. It’s just not going to happen.
I said this the last time a and baked a cake which looked like the Republic of Ireland rather than the number three, but if you are a professional baker, you can recreate simple designs.
Yes, I know scammers exist, people can lie, blah blah blah. But this alleged baker charged US$300 (AU$441) to serve up a big poo. My old cat delivered the same thing in the litter box once after he stole a steak and gobbled the whole thing up, and do you think he charged through the roof for it? No, he did not.
Also, can we just talk about the fact Liberty said the cake decorator “dropped it off”? Did she mean it was delivered to her front door in a box, or did the daredevil baker go skydiving with it in tow? Was the cake hurled out of a car going 170 km/h?
I have so many questions but I fear they’ll never be answered. Poo cake will simply haunt me in my dreams for the rest of my days.
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