#UPFORTHECUP
How do you do, fellow kids? Now, The Fiver knows all about #hashtags on the social media disgraces but not everyone is quite as savvy as your much-loved tea-timely missive, so here’s a quick guide for the uninitiated: #scenes means someone has scored a goal, #awaydays is fairly self-explanatory and usually accompanied by a photo of a four-pack of Tin on a 10am train, and when people talk about #limbs they’re usually referring to the variety of flailing appendages in the stands [oh, behave – Carry on Ed] as fans cavort in wild celebration.
There was admittedly plenty of that at the City Ground as Nottingham Forest stormed to a 4-1 win over Leicester but one fan got his #limbs all wrong in the aftermath of Forest’s third goal, his legs tottering him on to the pitch, his arms flailing haymakers at the Forest players as they celebrated Joe Worrall’s strike. Stewards and police were belatedly on the scene to cart the clown away and Leicester have promised a lifetime ban. There was also violence in Nottingham city centre before the game as assorted numpties lost the run of themselves over an FA Cup fourth-round tie.
In more uplifting news, National League minnows Boreham Wood from Borehamwood, a club so cash-strapped they can’t even afford to remove the stray space in their name, earned themselves a fifth-round tie at Everton with a stunning win over Championship Bournemouth. “I don’t want to be on the end of a giant-killing, as magic as it is,” sighed Cherries chief Scott Parker, sending the Cup-cliche-o-meter twitching. “Sometimes you have to take your medicine. Tonight we have to take our medicine and I have to take mine.”
And despite the #uglyscenes in the east Midlands, it was by and large a weekend of FA Cup warm-and-fuzzies: Middlesbrough doing for Manchester United on penalties, Kidderminster and Plymouth pushing West Ham and Chelsea to the very limit and, perhaps heartwarming-est of all, Crystal Palace fans’ fundraising efforts for Hartlepool manager Graeme Lee’s wife following her brain cancer diagnosis. Roll on the fifth round.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“He’s 37, hasn’t trained in the last four weeks and we had to give him an injection on Monday. We didn’t know whether he’d be fit or not; he trained on Saturday and I rang him on the way home to ask how he was feeling. He said he could feel it and I said: ‘I don’t care, you’re walking your club out at Bournemouth and if you last 15 minutes, we’ll make a sub.’ For him to put in a performance like he did and score the winner is incredible” – Boreham Wood boss Luke Garrard explains how his ancient FA Cup fairytale-maker Mark Ricketts was a one-man barrel of knack, which makes his match-winning heroics all the more ridiculous.
FIVER LETTERS
“Did The Fiver know that Human Rights World Cup hosts Qatar have a National Sport Day? When they inevitably bid for (and probably win) hosting duties, will they hold Big Sports Day on National Sport Day?” – Kristian Karamfiles.
“I am still trying to get my head around the achievements of the highest-paid chief suit in English football, who left his post at the end of January. Aside from enlarging the Manchester United owners’ coffers and overseeing the largest net spend in transfers in Europe over the past 10 years with little to show for it on the field, the litany of disastrous appointments and transfers is mind-boggling. The appalling reality show never fails to deliver and surely it can get worse. During the FA Cup defeat to Middlesbrough it was revealed that, despite hiring a new set-piece coach last summer, they remain the only team yet to score from one in the Premier League this season. Well done indeed” – John Weldon.
“Am I right in concluding that everything that happened at Old Trafford during the FA Cup fourth round – Ronaldo’s penalty miss, the insanity surrounding Boro’s goal, the half-time catering breakdown, the rain, the interminable shoot-out … .all of it is Michael Lloyd’s (Friday’s prizeless letter o’ the day) fault?” – Daniel Stauss.
“I see that fans now need to bring their own prawn sandwiches to Old Trafford” – John Buckley.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Kristian Karamfiles.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
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NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Chelsea have settled a high court case brought by four former youth-team players over alleged historic racist abuse.
Wayne Rooney says he misused alcohol in an effort to cope with the pressure that accompanied his rise to elite level football as a teenager. “There were times you would get a couple of days off from football and I would actually lock myself away and just drink to try to take all that away from my mind,” he said.
Marc Overmars is out as Ajax’s director of football after sending inappropriate messages to female colleagues. “Unfortunately, I didn’t realise that I was crossing the line with this,” he non-apologised. “Certainly for someone in my position, this behaviour is unacceptable.”
Sadio Mané has described scoring the winning shootout penalty to secure a first Afcon title for Senegal as the best day of his life. “I won [Big Cup] and some [other] trophies,” he sighed, in a bruising blow to the Premier League trophy’s ego, “but this is the special one for me. This is more important for me.”
The joyous scenes for Senegal after they won their first ever Africa Cup of Nations title pic.twitter.com/8YH9cPQVbf
— Guardian sport (@guardian_sport) February 7, 2022
Backside flares at the ready: the UK and Ireland have switched focus to hosting Euro 2028 after identifying “many areas of uncertainty” around a bid for the 2030 World Cup, not least the nonsense of it possibly being biennial by then.
Jürgen Klopp reckons Harvey Elliott’s return from knack to score in Liverpool’s 3-1 win over Cardiff is a story right up there with Cinderella. “Coming on is a great step back, scoring the goal makes it a proper fairytale,” he cheered.
Manchester United have returned to the top of the table … of clubs with the biggest transfer losses in the last decade, splashing an £850m net spend on players. Get the open-top bus ready, Ralf!
And Burnley’s Erik Pieters needs to work on his timing, talking up Wout Weghorst’s scoring prowess after a 0-0 draw with Watford that made the Afcon final seem like a white-knuckle ride. “He’s good on his feet and you can see he’s a real goal-getter,” honked Pieters.
STILL WANT MORE?
FA Cup: 10.1 talking points from the weekend’s steamy fourth-round action.
Here’s a lowdown on the latest round of WSL matches.
Olivier Giroud ripped up the shirt curse to put Milan on cloud nine in the derby, whoops Nicky Bandini.
Nagelsmann v Tedesco lived up to the hype as Leipzig pushed Bayern all the way, reports Andy Brassell.
From game on to game over? Sid Lowe watches Sevilla’s title hopes hit the bumpers.
Elis James is moving house to a place with no attic. What should he do with his old programmes?
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