A Place In The Sun star Jonnie Irwin revealed he apologised to his wife when he told her of his terminal cancer diagnosis.
The 49-year-old was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer after first experiencing symptoms in 2020. It has since spread to his brain.
He told his wife Jessica Holmes of the devastating diagnosis two months after she gave birth to their twins.
Speaking on the AIG Life's The OneChat podcast said telling her the news was one of the "hardest things" he had to do.
"I can remember it like it was yesterday. And I've got no memory since my whole brain therapy. But that bloody memory stays in my head," he said.
"And it is brutal. All I can remember is hugging her and just saying, 'Sorry'."
He also discussed how he had to continue working after learning of the diagnosis.
"I didn't take critical illness insurance out and therefore I had to keep working, without work, I've got no means of paying the bills," Jonnie explained.
"And if I had taken the critical illness insurance out, that could've covered my outgoings and I probably could've told the world [about his condition] a lot sooner."
He said that he feels "ridiculous" for not considering this level of insurance after being diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.
The star continued: "I could’ve had two years of living a more open lifestyle. And I want people to learn from that mistake. I think at the time I just thought I can better spend that money elsewhere. Where I don’t know. I’ve not frittered it away. Maybe because I know what benefits it would have had, it just seems ridiculous that I didn’t."
Jonnie recently explained why he chose not to tell his sons, Rex, five, and twins Rafa and Cormac, three, about his cancer.
"I keep being asked, 'Are you going to tell them?'," he said, before adding: "But tell them what?"
Continuing to Hello! Magazine, Jonnie went on to say: "It would be horrible news that they'd have to get their heads around.
"It would confuse the hell out of Rex – he's got a shocking enough day coming. Let's bury our heads in the sand for as long as possible."
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