Pushing his cart up the hill to the ninth hole at the Queanbeyan golf course in May last year, John Fely felt "a bit puffed".
He'd just had a knee replacement and thought he'd just lost some condition.
"I thought, 'Gee, I must be unfit'," he said.
Then, the keen mountain biker went for a ride at Stromlo and was so out of breath he felt like there was a "metal belt around his chest".
The same thing happened a few days later. John and his wife Jayne were due to go overseas, so he went to his GP for a check-up.
The diagnosis was lung cancer. Stage four. It was a massive shock.
The 59-year-old retired senior public servant was a non-smoker and had been active his whole life. Blood work isolated the exact gene that caused the cancer.
"Something in my body just made it flip," Mr Fely said.
Mr Fely lives with his wife Jayne in Kingston. Ms Fely, who is a nurse and US Air Force officer retiree, said the diagnosis was life-changing.
"When John was diagnosed, he was told, 'This is a cancer you will need to live with. It will never be cured. It will never be gone'," she said.
"When people say they are cancer-free, John is never cancer-free. The good news is they know exactly where the cancer is and when they do a CT scan they know exactly what they're looking for and can keep monitoring it."
Mr Fely has not let the diagnosis get the better of him.
In fact, he's tried to keep more active than ever, refusing to let the cancer win.
He believes setting himself small targets - whether it's attending a golf trip with mates, bushwalking with his wife or doing an hour of consulting work - has helped. He also reckons pushing himself to the physical limit has kept the cancer on a leash.
"On the exercise bike when you're pushing yourself, you get to this point where you just can't breathe, but you've just got to push yourself through it," he said.
It's like unblocking an old carburettor, he reckons.
He's even planning to cycle 82km from Sydney to Wollongong in November's MS Gong Ride to support Australians living with multiple sclerosis.
His younger son Ben, a primary school teacher in Sydney and an AFL boundary umpire, will accompany him, along with two of Ben's old schoolmates from Marist College Canberra.
"Ben said, 'Hey Dad, do you want to do the ride?' And I went, 'You know what? That's another good target'. So, I said yeah and started to work really hard in the gym again," Mr Fely said.
(Mr Fely's other son is Matt Fely, head chef for Nick O'Leary Wines.)
Mr Fely is not Pollyanna-ish about the disease. He has been through the wringer with it, having litres of fluid drained from his lung, spending 16 days in a Sydney hospital when his lung collapsed and, at one stage, losing 10 kilograms.
But he has had some big wins. Doctors told him he'd have to have a drain installed for life, so he began to concentrate on achieving some goals and amplifying his physical activity.
The drain was out within six months.
"It was like a big 'stuff you' to the cancer," Mr Fely said.
Mr Fely is motivated to take part in the MS Gong Ride on November 3 because he recognises multiple sclerosis has affected so many people, including his own family. He also wants to get the message out that some people with lung cancer can still be active.
He is keeping busy with lots of volunteer work. He's the secretary of the Uni-North Owls rugby club. He drives the food van for Communities@Work. And he is chair of not-for-profit Community Options ACT.
He moved from Sydney to Canberra in 1985. It's home.
"You know, when the Waratahs play the Brumbies, I go for the Brumbies," he said.
Mr Fely now receives medication through targeted therapy, which, at this stage, is keeping the cancer in check. Some days he still wakes up feeling like he's been hit by a bus.
"I have come to an understanding that I can't fight it. I acknowledge it's there and am still learning how to live with it. I think that was the key turning point for me," he said.
Ms Fely said her husband was also proof that sometimes "stage four" cancer is not the end. It could be the beginning of a new way to live.
"John will say he has stage four cancer and I see the look on some people's faces and I think, 'Do not write him off. Do not write him off'," she said.
- To donate to John Fely's fundraising page in the 2024 MS Gong Ride, go to https://www.msgongride.org.au/fundraisers/johnfely
