Warning! The following contains spoilers for the 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way Season 5 episode "Tales From The Crypto." Read at your own risk!
It's fair to say that when 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way first introduced Mary Demasu-ay, she wasn't given the most favorable edit. Brandan De Nuccio's fiancé from the Philippines had very strict rules for how he could interact with other women, to the point where it kept him from visiting certain family members. We also saw that she had no problem hanging out with her own male friends behind his back, so she seemed to be giving off only villainous vibes. That is, until we learned a bit more about how deep-seated her jealousy issues are in the latest episode, which mad me really feel for her.
Brandan and Mary had it out only a few days into his stay in the Philippines, as he finally confronted her about being unable to interact with other women without it leading to a massive fight. The 90 Day Fiancé cast member blasted his potential wife-to-be for lecturing him during church, with insturctions to keep his eyes solely on the priest, and not on other woman in attendance. Brandan told Mary that he'd hoped being around her in person would remove some of her extremely jealous behavior, but he felt it was as bad as it ever was.
Mary Opened Up To Brandan About Her Traumatic Past
Brandan felt like Mary didn't trust him, which she indeed confirmed, but the situation was more complex than it first seemed. Mary explained that she's dealt with abandonment and trust issues ever since her parents abandoned her and her brother with their grandparents, and refused to maintain contact with her afterward. She's had trouble trusting anyone since that and fears that type of abandonment.
Mary went on to explain that she's aware it's unhealthy for her to obsess about him interacting with other women, but she can't prevent how she feels. If she could be ok with it she would, but because of her past issues, she hasn't been able to conquer that fear of abandonment and jealousy. Brandan asked if marriage and children would ever change her jealousy, and she confessed she wasn't sure, but that it "maybe" would. Kind of a big risk to take for this level of commitment.
Brandan said he needed something stronger than a maybe, to which Mary told him he should find someone else then. Brandan wasn't satisfied with that response, as Mary sat there with tears coming down her face.
Why I Feel For Mary In A Way I Didn't Previously
After re-watching her opening scenes, I almost feel like 90 Day Fiancé gave Mary what reality television fans would call a "villain edit." Sure, she wasn't entirely truthful about hanging out with her guy friends, but it seems clear at this point that she wasn't getting into anything scandalous. She knew she'd seem like a hypocrite to Brandan, and didn't want him using it to justify hanging out with women. It feels like Jasmine Pineda's relationship with Gino Palazzolo, but with fewer hidden interactions with women, and certainly less sex talk.
Mary has apparently been dealing with her particular struggles long before she got with Brandan. With the full context of why she's so jealous and territorial, I can better sympathize with her and hope that she can conquer the past traumas in her life and move forward without him. That isn't to say her actions are justified, but they are certainly less malicious or scandalous than they originally seemed. Here's hoping they can work out their issues and find a path to happiness.
90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way airs on Mondays at 8:00 p.m. ET, and is available to stream with a Max subscription. While their relationship doesn't seem solid after this latest episode, CinemaBlend still has reason to believe Brandan and Mary will be around for as long as they're willing to appear.
