Going to work for many is becoming like going to school when we were kids: fewer and fewer people are excited to do it. In a 2024 poll, 12% of all Americans said they were not satisfied with their jobs. And while going to work may not make them cry per se, they're still hardly happy.
There's a page on Instagram called Employee Tears that collects relatable memes about what it's like to not like your job very much. "My dream job is not having one," they proclaim in their bio. If you feel the same, check out the funniest pics from their account that might make you cry – but, hopefully, not out of sadness.
To know more about how we can deal with excessive stress at work, Bored Panda reached out to a trauma and relationship therapist, Ioana Rotaru. She told us how people can differentiate between normal work-related stress and burnout, how to create better boundaries between work and personal life, and she gave our Pandas some self-care tips. Read her expert insights below!
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Although every job is different, most workers experience stress in some form. In fact, in Headspace's yearly Workforce State of Mind report of 2024, 86% of working Americans said that they feel either moderate, high, or extreme stress. What's more concerning is that out of those who feel extremely stressed, 83% claimed that their stress comes primarily from work.
Prolonged stress can inevitably lead to more serious long-term problems like burnout. Research from SHRM shows that a whopping 44% of American employees feel burned out, 44% say they're "emotionally drained," and 51% feel "used up" when the workday ends. All these numbers raise serious alarm bells, so, what can we do to start feeling better?
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First of all, it's important to differentiate between normal work-related stress and burnout. Trauma and relationship therapist Ioana Rotaru tells Bored Panda that the latter is much more extreme. "While we all have experienced some degree of work-related stress, perhaps when we were working towards a deadline, burnout features a state of exhaustion both physical and mental."
"Burnout is chronic stress that has been left unchecked and manifests as a lack of fulfillment, fatigue, emotional numbness, detachment, and cynicism," the therapist explains. "Burnout doesn't quickly improve with rest or self-care, it really needs deeper, more intense recovery that would involve work and lifestyle changes." She notes how research has shown that recovering from burnout can take anywhere from weeks to even several years.
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It can be hard to differentiate between work and personal life. Say, Pandas, how many of you have had to answer a work email well past your work hours? Balancing work and personal life can be even harder when you're working from home, and the popularity of remote work hasn't yet subsided since the pandemic. In 2023, 35% of employed Americans did some or all of their work from home.
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Creating boundaries between work and personal life can be a challenge, but, when there's will, there's a way. Trauma and relationship therapist Ioana Rotaru distinguishes two types of boundaries we should be setting if we want a better work-life balance. The first are practical and behavioral boundaries, and the other ones are emotional and psychological.
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I deliver for amazon, this came up halfway thru my route. A little drastic I'd say lol.
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Practical and behavioral boundaries, as Rotaru explains, include solutions like creating a designated workspace at home and avoiding working in the bedroom, as it interferes with sleep.
Some other behavioral boundaries might be turning off notifications after work hours are over, answering emails, and even deciding to end work at a certain time. To have a better work-life balance, we can also learn time-management skills, how to delegate tasks, engage in hobbies or other fun activities.
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Emotional and psychological boundaries, Rotaru says, demand us to reflect deeper. One might ask themselves questions such as: "Why am I even allowing work to spill into the personal?" or "Am I over-identifying with work achievements or failures?" Some people might also wonder whether they're taking on too much responsibility for what's happening at work.
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Ioana Rotaru also recommends asking yourself: "Why do I struggle to advocate for my needs?", "Why do I so easily sacrifice my needs for work?", and "What part does perfectionism play in how I work?" "The answers to these questions would tell us the boundaries we need to set," the therapist explains.
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The trauma and relationship therapist points out that we often ignore the signs of one emotional regulation system when we're stressed. "When we are going through work stress, two emotional regulation systems are activated: the threat system (our fight or flight response) and the drive system (our achievement and reward response)," she explains. "But a third one, the soothing system is often ignored, and we need to increase the level of activation of this system."
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The easier way to activate our soothing system is to regulate our nervous system. We can do that through such tactics as soothing rhythm breathing or safe place imagery. "It can also be activated through sensory comfort and grounding, such as walking in nature or warm baths, weighted blankets, or massages, connection with others or animals as well as engaging in creative in playful activities" Rotaru adds.
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"The more we increase the activation of the [soothing] system, the more we decrease the threat system, thus managing stress," the therapist explains. She also emphasizes how practicing self-care can prevent burnout. "If we are too much in the drive system without soothing, we can end up with burnout, so, implementing self-care is crucial."
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