Many of us try on many identities as we grow up. There are many phases one can have: a Tamagotchi phase, an emo/scene phase, a fedora phase – you name it. Some people even go through their looking-like-a-mob-boss phase.
Whatever it is, it often makes folks cringe and want to hide the evidence of that time in the deepest of voids. However, some people are brave enough to share their embarrassing moments with the rest of the world. The subreddit Blunder Years is the perfect place for that, as it has over a million netizens sharing the pics from their childhood and teen years where they thought they looked their very coolest, yet actually were anything but.
Bored Panda reached out to social science researcher Karla McLaren, M.Ed. She's an author and an emotions and empathy expert, who believes that even negative emotions like shame and embarrassment can help guide us into self-awareness.
McLaren told us more about how sharing cringe-worthy memories can help us overcome insecurities and shared the pitfalls of revisiting embarrassing blunders of the past. Read her expert insights below:
More info: Empathy Academy | Emotion Dynamics
#1 The First Photo Is When We Were All Around 13 Years Old. Last Is At My Friend's Wedding Last Year
Image credits: Bacon_Brown97
#2 When I Was Nine, I Insisted On Being A Homeless Enron Employee For Halloween. The Stubble Is Mascara
Image credits: ratadat
#3 This Was A Photoshoot I Did In 2010
Image credits: Ketsukoni
The resurgence of nostalgia doesn't seem to be going away soon. We love to remember our favorite movies, TV shows, characters, and toys, but nostalgia is often only about the good things. We tend not to want to remember things that confused us, brought us pain, or made us feel embarrassed.
Yet we're okay with some embarrassment. The Blunder Years subreddit walks the fine line between hurtful embarrassing memories and relatable embarrassment perfectly. Folks share photos from their past to, as the subreddit's bio puts it, "laugh and regret together."
#4 A Home Perm. I Had Several. This Was One Of Them
Image credits: Illustrious-Ad-641
#5 2008 I Was Sooo Proud Of My Hair 😹
Image credits: cruelladeville707
#6 Mistaken For A Substitute Teacher At Least Once In Junior High
Image credits: Is_For_Lovers
We spoke with emotions and empathy expert Karla McLaren about how the impact of sharing embarrassing moments from our childhood and teen years with others impacts our mental health. "Memory is a strange thing," she says. "It's not an accurate record of the past, and each time we replay a memory, we change it."
However, McLaren claims that there are both positives and negatives in remembering our cringey memories. "Sharing past experiences can be very healthy if you're looking to find the humor or the growth you've experienced since then. But if you're revisiting it and increasing your sense of dread or pain, it can be counterproductive."
#7 I Still Have To Hear My Dad Trash My Mom For Letting Me Choose These Rainbow Glasses...but I Loved Them
Image credits: RavenQueen33
#8 On My Way To See The Jonas Brothers
Image credits: nahdyeah
#9 2012 - 10/11 Year Old Me With Jeffree Star In Toronto 😭😭😭
Image credits: Exact_Prize_8275
That's why McLaren warns people to be careful when reminiscing about their regrettable past. "Focusing on what you learned and how you've overcome difficult things can be very healing, but you do have to take care!" Remember: as long as you're revisiting things that only make you laugh or cringe with humor, it's all good.
#10 Mullet, Skinny Leather Tie, Grade 9 Me Was A Vision. Of Something
Image credits: Illustrious-Ad-641
#11 1991, Off To My High School Graduation Ceremony
Image credits: LumenYeah
#12 Twenty Years Ago I Was In A Screamo Band. Now, I’m 40
Image credits: ChelsieGrinn
As teens and pre-teens, we have lots of insecurities: we think our noses are crooked, our hair is the wrong color, or our feet too big. Looking back at ourselves during that formative time might help us overcome some of them. "Sharing your clumsy, silly, or shame-inducing blunders has a kind of daylighting effect," McLaren notes.
#13 My Father Left Behind A Legacy Of Cool And I Am Letting Him Down
Image credits: luluprevails
#14 What 12-Year-Old Me Considered Peak Fashion
Image credits: DoubleOrangutans
#15 14yo Me In 2004... Thats What I Wore While Tearing Down The Old Trailer.... New Trailer In The Back
Image credits: jzemeocala
According to McLaren, one of the best ways to deal with shame is to be open about it. "This helps you because you're not keeping secrets from yourself," she explains. "But it also helps others to see you do it, so that maybe they can bring some light and fresh air to their own very human blunders. It can also help you and everyone else laugh, lighten up, and create closer bonds," the emotions and empathy expert says.
#16 My Boyfriend And His Mom In 1992
Image credits: Commercial_Fig_6366
#17 Got My Hair & Makeup Done At Libby Lu At The Mall For My Birthday. I Thought I Was So Cool
Image credits: fuckicanonlyhave20ch
#18 Showed Up To Homeschool Group In A Homemade Narwhal Costume
Image credits: Mys-Fit
When embarrassing moments like the ones in this list are put on the internet for everyone to see, it's important how we frame that embarrassment. "If people are humorous and lighthearted (and not treating the embarrassed person as a target), it can lighten up the whole experience for everyone," McLaren says.
"But if the embarrassment is being used to mock, shame, or bring another person low, then it's just exposing, unkind, and often abusive. It really depends on the context and the intention."
#19 2011 Homecoming
Image credits: flynnliv
#20 Dressing Like This To Play The Sims 2 By Myself
Image credits: moepoofles
#21 Feeding The Tamagotchis While Playing Habbo Hotel
Image credits: fondoozzle
This generation, it seems, is doing just fine with embarrassment and shame. The recent "Rejection therapy" trend is all about people going out of their comfort zone and getting used to their anxieties around it. People are going around and asking to speak into a plane's intercom or to take a nap at the mattress store and thus becoming insensitive to the word "No."
#22 I Was 14, The Rapper 50 Cent Was My Idol, My Mom Took The Picture
Image credits: jvstdai
#23 There’s No Need For How Much I Spent On Skinny Jeans And White Studded Belts Between 2009 And 2012
Image credits: didyouseeben
#24 I Went To School Like This Everyday For Months. I Had Zero Friends
Image credits: witcharithmetic
Mental health experts say that it's similar to exposure therapy. You go into a controlled environment and face your fears head-on. Psychotherapist Rachel Goldberg told Bustle that it "[reduces] the intensity of the fear response and [promotes] confidence." Who knows, maybe sharing that embarrassing childhood pic may help you overcome an insecurity too?
#25 Halloween 1997, I Insisted On Going As A Generic Can Of Whipped Cream And Mom Delivered:
Image credits: Throwaway_carrier
#26 1989 I Was So Excited For The New Recycling Program To Start That I Wanted To Be Recycling For Halloween
Image credits: Dulcinea80
#27 This Is How I Dressed Every Day Of Middle School And Some Of High School, Because I Loved Mob Movies And Frasier. I Am Loath To Use This Sub, Because I Still Think I Ate. 🤣
Image credits: CameronTheCinephile
In the end, everybody gets embarrassed about something. According to Kristin Neff, an associate professor at the University of Texas at Austin's Department of Educational Psychology, when we're self-aware and don't take our embarrassing moments so seriously, we start to understand that everybody fails at some point. "Everyone struggles. This is what it means to be human," she said.
#28 'Glamour Photos' From 2003 (I Was 13)
Image credits: ZedD3add
#29 Thankfully I Grew Into My Fave
Image credits: cosmic_bb_v
#30 My Wife Kickin' It With Her Dad In The Early 90s
Image credits: esotetris
What about you, Pandas? What kind of blunders do you think you could bring to the table? We've covered the Blunder Years subreddit many times in the past, but it seems like there can never be enough awkward stories, huh? So, if you want to see more embarrassing pics from people's childhoods, head over here, here, and here for more!
