Celebrities have long been a source of divorce discourse, with much speculation surrounding the reasons for their seasons ending. Think Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, Chris Martin and Gwynneth Paltrow, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian to name but a few.
These uncouplings, though sometimes “conscious” all played out in a very public way - thanks to the prying eyes of the paparazzi. But there’s a whole other world of divorce drama that some people might not even be aware of. And a pluckarazzi that could put the Hollywood paps to shame. An online community has been closely following a flock of fabulous and (now) free, feathered divorcees. They’ve been sharing photos, along with what they believe are the bittersweet backstories of bird break-ups.
Scroll on for some of the most brilliant ones and don’t forget to upvote your favorites.
#1 Not A Birb Divorce But Fighting Over Birb Visitation In A Human Divorce
Image credits: CatPooedInMyShoe
Some of these birds look like they’ve been through the wringer, and who can blame them? Break-ups aren’t easy. Even if you’re not married. But when you throw in a legal contract, shared property, assets, kids, parenting plans, lawyers and divorce court, things can get even messier - and more expensive.
According to Forbes magazine, the average cost of a divorce in the U.S.A. in 2024 is between 15,000 and 20,000 U.S Dollars. That’s quite a pretty penny to spend on dismantling a nest. Imagine doing it twice? Or even thrice?
#2 Henry Had Been Hurt Before; A Man Who Loved Too Much. He Couldn’t Help That He Wore His Heart On His Sleeve...and Pants And Hat
Image credits: branje
While the stories here are fictional and all in the name of fun, it appears some might not be too far from the truth. Research shows that 90% of bird species are monogamous, meaning they stick to one mate, at the very least for a full breeding season. Some even go the extra mile and mate for life.
Among the most monogamous are the black vulture, bald eagle, laysan albatross, mute swan, barn owl and of course, lovebirds…
#3 Julia Glared Into The Mirror. Years Of Carl Telling Her Not To Spend Money On Makeup Drove Her To Spend All Of Her First Alimony Check At Sephora. “It’s Over, And I Can Be As Fabulous As I Want Now, Carl! I’m Putting Myself First, And I Am Beautiful!”
Image credits: skynolongerblue
#4 Steph Hadn’t Dated Since 1984 And She Felt Stupid In The Corner Of The Club Dressed Like Cyndi Lauper
Image credits: Lo-ItsBabyJesus
Penguins also mate for life, with one species in the Falkland Islands taking part in its very own version of The (Bird) Bachelor. These guys take their quest for love seriously, adding a dash of romance - and rivalry - to their relationships.
Just like some famous Hollywood celebs, gentoo penguin girls expect a big, polished rock before committing. So once a young male penguin has found his perfect mate, he’ll need to search for the perfect pebble to match her beauty. He’ll scour the shore in his black and white tuxedo and once he’s found one fit for a princess, he’ll carefully pick it up with his beak. The hopeful bachelor will then carry it across the beach, present it to his soon-to-be fiancee and propose.
#5 She Knew Gary Was Unreliable, But She Never Expected Him To Abandon Her Before The Baby Was Even Born. She Was A Survivor, Though, And Was Going To Be The Best Mother For Her Child, Even If All She Could Afford Was A Rundown Apartment In The Red Light District
Image credits: TDLMTH
#6 The Tweet That Started It All
Image credits: TheCheish
If he manages to bowl her over, she’ll signal “I do” by offering him a rock of his own. No long engagement, no lavish wedding. Just happy feet. A simple exchange of rocks to seal the deal - and a promise to be together “until death do us part”.
After the ceremony, the couple continues to search for pebbles together, laying a rock solid foundation for their life as a married couple. The pebbles will become the perfect love nest in which they start their family.
But all’s fair in love and war… and penguin passion doesn’t come without drama. If a guy can’t find the perfect pebble, some will resort to stealing one from another couple’s nest - causing all sorts of crazy chaos.
#7 Clarice, Widowed For The 4th Time In A Row, Attending The Funeral Of Her Late Husband Edward Who Passed Under Mysterious Circumstances. However, Clarice Will Be Able To Cope With This Horrific Loss With Edward’s Life Insurance Policy There To Comfort Her
Image credits: reddit.com
#8 Everyone Is So Concerned With How The Divorced Birds Are, They Never Stop To Think Of The Children. Connor Is Still Trying To Adjust To His Parents Divorce, But When Mom Brings Over Her “New Friends” He Locks Himself In His Room With The Sounds Of Pink Floyd While He Hits The Bong
Image credits: BabyYodi
#9 After Losing A Custody Battle With Her Ex Husband Last Year, Ann Myers (33) Of Winnipeg, Manitoba Suffered A Psychotic Break And Kidnapped Her Neighbors 2 Children Claiming They Were Her Own. She Is Believed To Be Heading To Mexico. If You Know Anything About Her Whereabouts, Call 1-555-Crime
Image credits: I_might_be_weasel
On the topic of chaos, what if I told you there's a whole world of scandals in the sky we weren’t even aware of?
While most birds are in it for the long haul, sometimes things fall apart. Not only do birds really get “divorced” - but bird divorce is on the rise. It’s actually something scientists have been studying for decades.
#10 Darren Put On His Best Smile For The New Dating Profile, But The Hurt Was Still In His Eyes
Image credits: DutchPizzaOven
#11 With Her Hair Done Up And Fresh Makeup, Julia Hiked Up Her New Black Capris And Sauntered Past Peter's Job. She Outwardly Ignored The Whistles From His Coworkers, But On The Inside She Teemed With Excitement. "Just Breathe" She Reminded Herself As She Played It Cool
Image credits: waitingindreams
#12 Gary Had Spent Too Many Years Denying Who He Really Was, Suppressing His True Desires To "Fit In". Once He Opened Up To His Truth, His World Came Into Focus. He May Have Lost His Wife Shelia, But He Found His Steve. This Year Marks Their 20th Anniversary. There Is Life After A Divorce Chickadees
Image credits: NolaSaintMat
“With regard to birds, divorce is generally taken to mean that at least one partner pairs with another individual, even though both partners are still living and residing within the same population,” wrote William Moskoff in his 1995 research paper “Birds and Divorce”.
“Needless to say, the notion of avian divorce bears little resemblance to what we think of as divorce,” he added. “The concept is simply a convenient way for ornithologists to measure mate fidelity.”
No long drawn-out court battles, no legal fees, no splitting of assets, no parenting plans, no alimony. Just a “Thanks for the memories. I’m out.” Imagine.
Is it any surprise some of these birds look like one flew over the cuckoo's nest?
#13 This Is Betty’s Favorite Pink Dress. One Time Robert Told Her She Looked Fat In It And She Was Too Ashamed To Wear It. Now That He’s Gone She’s Pulled It Back Out Of The Closet. She’s Flaunting Her Curves And She Doesn’t Care Who Sees It!
Image credits: moonylady
#14 After 50 Years Of Marriage, Dolly Is Beginning To Wonder If Her Husband Had Robbed Her Of The Best Years Of Her Life
Image credits: Yorkshire_Bjorn
#15 Daniel Was Beginning To Wonder If He Actually Was The Father Of Amber's Son. That Was The Only Reason They'd Rushed Into Marriage, But Their Child Looked Eerily Similar To Amber's Boss
Image credits: reddit.com
In 2023, a new research paper came out titled, “Divorce rate in monogamous birds increases with male promiscuity and migration distance”. Yes, you read that right. Birds don’t just tweet. They also cheat. The guys in particular. You dirty, dirty birds!
The paper states: “Our results showed that only male promiscuity, but not female promiscuity, had a positive relationship with divorce rate. Furthermore, migration distance was positively correlated with divorce rate, whereas adult mortality rate showed no direct relationship with divorce rate.”
#16 Molly Was Devastated When Vince Walked Out Of Their Lives. Money Was Tight, Working Extra Hours Was Taking Its Toll, And Things Were Never Going To Be The Same Again. But She Still Had Her Little Girls, And That Was Enough To Make It All Worthwhile
Image credits: TorchIt
#17 Officer, I Haven’t Seen The Man In Weeks
Image credits: queenofsleeps
#18 Just Sign The Damn Papers! Marge It’s Over
Image credits: CaptainBlemo
The researchers studied 232 bird species from around the world, then split them into male and female groups. They gave each bird species a “promiscuity score”, with 0 being highly unlikely to step out on the relationship and 4 being a serial cheating scumbag.
They found that “plovers, swallows, martins, orioles and blackbirds had both high divorce rates and male promiscuity, whereas petrels, albatrosses, geese and swans had low divorce rates and male promiscuity.”
#19 Mabel Strutted Out Of The Salon, The Brisk NYC Air Made Her Feathers Tingle. She Had A New Make Over, Stan Was History And 2020 Was Going To Be A Year To Remember
Image credits: Racecarsoup
#20 After Taking A Few Surfing Lessons, William Thought That Maybe Losing Full Custody Of His Kids Wasn’t That Bad
Image credits: jefrobongga
#21 Marvin Hadn't Been In The Dating Game In 20yrs, But He Knew Suspenders Were Still In
Image credits: Mr_Shawn
Albatrosses are the epitome of everlasting love in the avian world, with some keeping their love locked down for up to 70 years. Despite spending much of the year apart during migration, the faithful mates find their way back to each other time and again.
Yet data shows that they too have been calling it quits more often in recent years. Scientists wanted to know why, so they scrutinized the divorce documents over a period of 18 years.
It turns out there is a third party involved. But it’s not what you might think.
#22 Janet Sauntered Into Court. Her Ex Sneered When He Saw Her. "What On Earth Are You Wearing, Janet?" He Asked. "You Look Like A Spiky Volcano." "Damn Straight!" She Replied. "Mount Vesuing Your Ass Located In Pompay Up, Ya Bastahd."
Image credits: llamalobster
#23 Bartholomew’s First Day Back After A Messy Public Squabble With His Estranged Ex-Wife. He Wouldn’t Let It Put A Damper On His Next Chapter. His Shiny New Tie Would Be The Talk Of The Office, And Hopefully Be The Gossip Fodder That Made Everyone Forget What They Witnessed Yesterday
Image credits: itsblazequasar
#24 "23 Is Too Young To Be Twice Divorced", Her Mother Said. She Was Wrong. 23 Was Just Old Enough To Start Over. Again
Image credits: Doctor_What_
Researchers found that climate change is blowing hot and cold on albatross love, causing some birds to break up their otherwise happy nests. The journal published in The Proceedings of the Royal Society B noted, “the probability of divorce was directly affected by the environment, increasing in years with warm sea surface temperature anomalies (SSTA).”
#25 When Steven Cheated On Him, Fernando Was Heartbroken. Now, Years Later, Fernando Was A Famous Model And Ready To See His Pictures Spread Around The World. Steven Would Be Sorry
Image credits: violetremarkable
#26 So I Says To Em, I Says - How Many Toimes I Gotta Tell Ya Roy? How Many Toimes? Ya Gatta Quit Comin Hea. It’s Gatta Stop. Ya Gambled Away Yuh Money, Ya Gambled Away Amba’s College Fund, And Ya Gambled Away My Heaht
Image credits: NotHilaryFaye
#27 Meet Walther: A Professor In Life, A Scholar In Love
Image credits: ObadiahBlueHat
It further adds that global warming is causing more females to hook up behind their spouse’s back. The guys are struggling to find food during their migration periods, and are spending longer away from home than usual. And when the guys are away, the girls will play.
The study notes that some broody females get impatient, and take flight with a new flame. Others just get sick of raising their kids alone and fall into the warm wings of a more available lover.
So if you need another reason to take climate change to heart... Look no further than into the eyes of that forlorn fowl who just got dumped.
#28 Ex’s Are The Worst
Image credits: FridaysChild219
#29 "I'm Sick Of You Criticising Me, Martha! I'm Not Getting Rid Of The Cape! I'm Getting Rid Of You!"
Image credits: I_might_be_weasel
#30 Deandra Wasn't Gonna Listen To The Haters. If She Wanted To Spend Every Goddamn Minute In Her Wedding Dress, She Would. It Was Like The Whole Left At The Altar-Thing Had Never Happened
Image credits: ObadiahBlueHat
#31 Linda Had Never Felt So Fierce As She Did Walking Into Court With Her Team Of Attorneys. She Was Ready To Take Daryl On For All He Had, That’s What You Get For Cheating With Her Younger, More Attractive Sister
Image credits: floydgirl23
#32 Franco Had Been Hitting The Gym Hard After His Divorce In Order To Get The Right Tender Profile Picture. However, The Lack Of Right Swipes He Was Getting Made Him Realize An Important Lesson - Never Skip Leg Day
Image credits: fraggle_captain
#33 "I Adore My Lawyer", Claudette Told Her Brunch Club. "Every 7th Divorce Is Free, He'll Shun Your Ex From Polite Society For A Small Fee, And He Always Has Fresh Petits Fours In His Office. Pastel Frosting Only, Of Course. I Had A Petit Four Once With *indigo* Frosting. Darlings...it Was Horrifying."
Image credits: llamalobster
#34 To Hell With Everyone That Said She Couldn't Wear Her Wedding Dress To A New Years Party. Wanda Was Marrying Her Own Future, And No One Else's
Image credits: Zee4321
#35 Brad Walked Up To The Door Of His House, Eager To See His Wife After A Week On The Road. But Then...it Hit Him. *that* Smell. Even Through The Door It Assaulted His Olfactory Glands. She's Been Into The Seed Again, He Thought To Himself, As He Opened The Door To See His Worst Fears Confirmed
Image credits: llamalobster
#36 Money Had Been Tight Since The Divorce, But Cindy Was Having Second Thoughts About Home Haircuts For Her Chicks
Image credits: CatPooedInMyShoe
#37 Bob Froze. The Kids Froze. Gail Snapped Their Photo Without Saying A Word. Deep Within, Bob Seethed. “Once A Month And A Week At Christmas Isn’t Enough, Gail! A Father Shouldn’t Have To Sneak Around Just To See His Children!” But He Kept Silent. She’d Only Twist His Words In Front Of The Judge
Image credits: Skwr09
#38 When Peaches Saw That Her Ex Had A New Girlfriend, She Was Okay With It. Oh, She Looks Like Me, Peaches Thought. All Was Well Until She Saw...the New Girlfriend's Name. Nectarine. Peaches Felt A Pit In Her Stomach, And Recalling When Her Ex Said, "No I Love Your Fuzz I Swear!" Made Her Weep
Image credits: llamalobster
#39 You Don't Get A Say In My Tux Colour For This Wedding Sharon!!
Image credits: Empty-fold
#40 '6 Feet Tall Since Apparently Females Care About That. World's Most Dangerous Bird-In Bed Just Sayin'. Big Talons, Big Pe-Rsonality Ha. No Drama, No Single Moms, No Birds Older Than 20-Sorry If It Hurts Just Bein' Honest.' Paul Would Take His Eventual Tinder Ban Harder Than His Fourth Divorce
Image credits: llamalobster
#41 "Happy Birthday," Edgar Said To His Third Wife, And Strode Into His Study To Call His Lawyer. Why Did Wives Always Have To Turn 30? He Thought Bitterly. Luckily, The World Would Never Run Out Of 19-Year-Olds, And Edgar Would Never Run Out Of Money
Image credits: Tvisted
#42 Her Divorce Finalized, Jacinta Went To Woolworths And Skipped Happily Down The Make-Up Aisle, Thinking "You Spend As Much As You Want, Girl! Mascara, Lipgloss, All The Eyeshadow Palettes! Yass Queen! Brett Doesn't Control My Finances Anymore!" Then Hummed "Sexy & I Know It" All The Way To Checkout
Image credits: wishingwellington
#43 With Great Respect For Each Other, We Have Made The Difficult Decision To Uncouple. We Will Continue To Remain Friends And Will Forever Be Bonded By The Love We Feel For Our Dear Child, Finnick Primrose. We Ask For Privacy As We Navigate This Next Stage Of Our Relationship
Image credits: i__cant__even__
#44 Franklin Got Home With The Fish And Realized He Was Still Shopping For Two
Image credits: MasterSlax
#45 "I'm A Strong Independent Single Mother And I Don't Need No Man Telling My Son What To Do," Hilary Muttered Herself As She Marched A Mortified Billy To The Principal's Office To Complain About Bring Your Dad To School Day
Image credits: reddit.com
#46 Tfw You Can Finally Eat Cookie Dough Without Hearing Your Ex Say, "You Shouldn't Eat Cookie Dough. And It's Not Just The Raw Eggs, It's Also The Raw Flour. Nobody Talks About The Raw Flour. Sigh. Why Don't You Just Bake The Cookies Like A Normal Person? Is Cookie Dough *really* That Good?"
Image credits: llamalobster
#47 "And Who Is There To Counsel The Marriage Counselor When Her Own Marriage Falls Apart? The Marriage Counselor *counselor*? And Then Who Counsels Her Huh?", Bridgette Asked, As She Drowned Her Sorrows With Her 8th Bottle Of Mixed Berry Flavored Sparkling Cider
Image credits: llamalobster
#48 I Only Drink Champagne On Two Occasions, When I Am In Love And When I Am Not
Image credits: gaydonkeyjudgesyourD
#49 They Decide The Custody For The Divorced Birds
Image credits: shoshoreardon
#50 Peter Remember How I Made Your Provolone Cheese And Salami Rollups For Lunch Everyday So That The Salami Overlapped The Provolone Just Like The Moon Phase For That Day Waxing Crescent Was Your Favorite No Other Woman Will Love You Like That You Hear Me?
Image credits: llamalobster
